Chapter FIFTEEN

L I A M

Caleb and I were not actually together.

I knew that. I knew everything was fake. Even though we don't exactly despise each other anymore, all the lovey-dovey things were just a stunt. I also knew that I have every right to choose to only be involved with Caleb whenever Patricia or Dave wanted me to be.

I knew all this, and yet here I was, currently standing in front of Caleb's front door.

I haven't even knocked. I probably looked like an idiot, but every time I brought my hand up, something just stopped me from doing it.

I had been stuck like this for about three minutes, give or take.

"What is the big deal?" I caught myself mumbling. "Just knock!"

After a deep breath, I knocked four times. A bit louder than I expected. Once I had done that, I actually felt like turning away. Again, I didn't know why, but I didn't have enough time to think about it either because Caleb opened the door.

He was surprised, and understandably so. "Hey, Liam. I—I was just about to leave for the airport. Did you need anything?"

I cleared my throat. "No, I just… wanted to offer you a ride there."

"Oh," Both Caleb's eyebrows rose at that. "Did Dave ask you to drive me?"

"No, he didn't." I shook my head, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed. "I actually volunteered."

"Are you sure?" Caleb was smiling now.

"Yeah! Yeah." I nodded, smiling back. "I can drive you. I'd be happy to."

Caleb stared at me for a minute, almost like he couldn't believe what was happening. He seemed… happy about it though. "Alright, if you're really okay with it." And then he opened the door and let me inside.

His suitcases were in the living room. "I'll go get my other bag, then we can go." Caleb said, closing the door behind him and walking up the steps.

Caleb probably didn't need anybody to take him to the airport. Although this was me trying to be helpful, I think it was also me being selfish. There's me wanting to be near Caleb right now. After what happened at the park, for some reason, it felt wrong to just let him go by himself.

Behind me, I heard a soft thud. I turned my head towards Caleb who had placed down his small duffel bag and a backpack beside his suitcase. "I just have to check if I haven't forgotten anything," He mumbled, looking around the room. He felt around his pockets and his eyes widened. "Wallet, damn it. I'll be right back." And then raced back up the stairs.

Seconds later he appeared again. He shrugged on his black backpack and his light green duffel bag. I walked closer, taking the handle of his suitcase.

"I can-"

"It's okay," I said before he finished. "I'll help."

Once we got to the elevator, we both tried to reach for the button at the same time, and our fingers touched. It was reflex which made me pull back. "Dude." Caleb was eyeing me. "Are you okay? You seem jumpy."

I looked him in the eye, then I realized I couldn't do that without feeling giddy, so I decided on looking at the elevator buttons. We still haven't moved from his floor. "I told you not to call me dude anymore."

"Liam," He said. I hummed before pressing the button which lead to the lobby. "Liam." Caleb stepped in front of me. I had no choice but to look at him. "Liam, you sure you're feeling okay? Not sick or anything? You're looking a bit more pale than usual."

I shook my head. "I've been thinking about—" I stopped when I realized how close we were standing.

The elevator doors opened just then, revealing the lobby. Caleb got out first. We walked together to the front of the building where I parked my car. After placing his luggage into the trunk, Caleb paused before entering the passenger seat. He looked like he was about to say something, but then shook his head and got in the car.

Once we were on the road, Caleb was still looking at me. Mostly worried. "When do you have to be back, Caleb?" I decided to change his focus.

"I'll need to be back before the last week of April. Rehearsals for the tour start then." He was looking at the road now.

"Sounds exciting. Congratulations on your tour, by the way."

"Thank you, really. The guys are excited too, Max said he missed being in the tour bus and Archer's missed playing live." Caleb chuckled at that, and it was nice to know they're genuinely proud and happy about what they do.

"I'll try to catch a few performances," I said. "Although, I'm pretty sure I'll have to anyway."

"You'll have a great time, though." Caleb grinned.

"I'm sure I will." My words had Caleb grinning from ear-to-ear. "Will Melanie visit your parents and you in America?"

I saw him nod from my peripheral vision. "I think so. When was the last time you visited your parents?"

"Last month I think?" Mom and dad lived a few hours away in their own apartment, and the last time I visited them was way before this whole thing with Caleb started. "We keep in touch with calls and FaceTime. I guess I should tell you that they don't know that it's all just a stunt either."

"Wait, they think we're actually boyfriends?"

I pursed my lips and cleared my throat before replying. "She already used to think so, when you and I were sixteen—even before, probably."

Caleb didn't seem bothered by it, just chuckled and shrugged. "Can't really blame her."

Before I could speak up, Caleb was talking again. "I… This is a weird question, don't feel like you need to answer it. Um, when we were sixteen, the night we kissed, you told me you liked me for years," Caleb said slowly, cautiously. I kept my face neutral, telling him was okay. "Did she know? Did your parents know?"

"She didn't," I replied, ignoring the flutter inside my chest that came whenever that night was brought up. "I never told anyone."

A slight pause. "Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because, I didn't think it would have changed anything." The sudden mood inside the car took a complete turn, and Caleb seemed to pick up on it. He began to apologize. "Sorry, sorry. We don't have to talk about those stuff, sorry."

I shook my head, smiling. "It's okay. I just don't think now's the best time, you know?" He was leaving for quite a while and I didn't want for us to part on bad terms.

"I get it," Caleb said, his voice growing softer. "I'm sorry."

There was silence. I broke it before it got too long. "Caleb?"

"Yes, Liam?"

"We'll talk about things like, you know, the finer details, soon. I promise," I said as sincerely as I could. "I'm not mad at you anymore."

Caleb paused again. "We could just talk about something else, okay? Puppies! I love puppies."

I bit my lip before shaking my head, letting a small, relieved laugh to escape. "I know," I said. "I love puppies too."

"What's your favorite breed?" And just like that, the mood got immensely lighter. "Mine are French bulldogs. Other people would think they're not the best, but I personally think they're the cutest."

"I like pugs. They look quite similar to French bulldogs, yeah? I'm a sucker for their big, round eyes. Really cute."

We stopped at a red light after I said that. I looked towards Caleb who was already looking at me, smiling. His eyes looked shiny because of the streetlights around us.

I would've been utterly stupid to disagree with the fact that he looked absolutely beautiful.

#

We arrived at the airport and was informed that a security guard was waiting for us near the entrance. He wasn't going to follow both of us around, he was there just as a precaution in case we get mobbed or anything. It was mostly routine at this point for both Caleb and I, given our jobs.

I parked my car and turned the engine off. Caleb opened the passenger's side door and as he was about to get off, he bumped his head and fell back to his chair with as much grace as a frightened elephant.

It took me a second to process. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… Just," Caleb groaned, rubbing the top of his head. "Fuck, that hurt." He muttered.

"I—" I bit my lip, shaking my head. "Are you—" A chuckle escaped my mouth, then suddenly I was laughing, and it got worse when what happened just replayed in my head.

I had thrown my head back, my eyes shut close and I was clutching my stomach at how much I was laughing. Every time I tried to form words, it only resulted in more laughter.

"You're laughing at my pain?" I knew Caleb wasn't mad, although his face did show a hint of annoyance, he was also kind of smiling for some reason.

"I'm—I'm sorry for laughing," I said after calming down.

"No you're not." He scoffed, although still he had this slight smile on his face. After a few minutes of going through security, we stepped inside the airport. The first thing I noticed were men with professional cameras pointed at Caleb and me.

"Of course," I sighed. "I told Dave we'd be at the airport. I should've expected." Caleb and I were walking close to each other. I felt him nudge me. "Hey, I have to check in now."

We stopped at a corner. I placed Caleb's suitcase down next to him. "You okay? Head doesn't hurt still?" I asked, not even bothering to hide my smile.

"I'm fine, you sadist," He said, checking his passport and tickets. "How about you, you'll be okay driving home alone?"

"I'm a very capable adult," I reminded him.

"Adult," Caleb scoffed. I flicked his forehead which made him kick my left calf, not too hard though. "Okay, let's stop." I chuckled. My eyes landed on his airplane ticket. There was a pang of sadness in me, not that I was going to admit that to him. "Are you really going to be gone for a month?"

"Give or take," He shrugged, this time taking out his phone and tapping away.

I frowned. I didn't know why the fact that he was going to be gone for more than a few days had upset me so much. Maybe it was because we were finally starting to have some sort of friendship back, or maybe because of what happened yesterday.

I was really trying not to put a deeper meaning into what I was feeling.

This situation was strikingly similar to the day he left for Australia when we were sixteen. I tried not to think about that, too.

I blinked when Caleb started waving a hand over my face. "Liam? Hello?"

"What?"

Caleb crossed his arms. "You've been acting strange." He leaned closer, scanning my face. "Was it because of what I said in the car?"

"I'm fine, and no. I've just been thinking about lots of things, you know?" I smiled. He didn't seem convinced.

"Okay," Caleb sighed after a moment. "You don't want to tell me what's happening inside that brain of yours, that's fine." He looked at his suitcase, then back at me. "I guess this is goodbye? Thanks for the ride, Liam, I appreciate it."

He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around my torso. I wrapped arm around his shoulders. "Anytime, Caleb." I chuckled.

Caleb suddenly leaned his head back, his arms still wrapped around my torso. "You smell like blueberries, did you know that?"

"Huh?" I noted how close our faces were now that he was looking at me, but I decided to ignore it.

"You use perfume?"

"Uh, Meredith gave me some type of body spray last week. I tried it on today."

Caleb narrowed his eyes, amused. "Are you sure she didn't give you perfume?"

"I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. "I don't really think it's a big deal though."

Caleb nodded. "I agree. Hope she gives you lipstick next time."

I stared at Caleb in confusion, trying to understand what he meant. He wiggled his eyebrows. The exasperation was clear on my face. "Keep your imagination to yourself."

"I'm joking!" Caleb explained, then tilted his head. "Although you do wear make-up during shoots and all that, right?"

"I've done photoshoot where I had a face full of make-up, actually."

"I'll be sure to check those out." I pinched Caleb's arm, making him laugh at my embarrassment. "Stop it."

"You're getting flustered."

"Caleb!"

"What?" Caleb laughed. "It's true!" We still haven't let go of each other, which surprisingly, wasn't weird for me.

What's weird was that I didn't mind this.

"You'll be late to your flight."

"Right," Caleb smirked, obviously still not letting our conversation go. He probably just wanted to get back at me for laughing at his misfortune in my car earlier.

My eyes landed on Caleb's lips which were jutted out into a pout. "I'll take my goodbye kiss now." He had a joking tone, but around us there were still people taking pictures and if Dave called the paparazzi it meant he was expecting something.

I tangled my fingers together at the back of his neck. "Hmm. Don't miss me too much." I tried to keep the mood light as I planted a light kiss on his cheeks.

I pulled away, unsure of what I was doing, my right hand taking his chin and pulling gently to make him look at me.

Caleb didn't seem to mind what was happening. I don't think he realized. "You okay?"

I didn't reply to his question.

Well, it was more like I couldn't reply. Kissing was apparently a very effective method to silence both of us.

I had expected Caleb to push me away, either out of shock or because he didn't want to kiss me.

He started kissing me back.

His lips were soft. I felt his hand run up down my back before gripping onto the fabric of my shirt lightly. My hand was cupping one side of his face, the other holding onto the back of his neck.

I wasn't sure how long we kissed for, but I was the one who pulled away first.

Our eyes met. I opened my mouth, trying to come up with an explanation, but Caleb beat me to the punch. "I certainly didn't expect that to be my goodbye kiss."

"I'm sorry, I—that was so sudden." I kissed Caleb, I decided to kiss him out of the blue and it had nothing to do with the cameras around us. It dawned on me that he probably thought it was part of the act. "Caleb, that had nothing to do with Dave or Patricia. Believe me."

I wanted him to believe me. He had to. Caleb looked unsure. He was trying to figure out the situation. "You just decided you wanted to kiss me then? Because… you felt like it?" Of course he didn't see how that was possible.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself for what I was going to say next. "It's never just a kiss. Not to me," I said. "Not if it's with you."

Caleb took a second to realize. "You're using my words."

"Because they're the truth."

His hands fell to his side, like he just realized we were still entangled. Caleb's eyes didn't leave mine, though. "What does this mean, Liam?"

My head dipped in shame, because I took action without properly thinking. All I know is that I wanted to kiss him before he left, that I've been thinking about kissing him whenever I was alone in my house at night. "If I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure. I just—I just wanted to do that. It felt… right, to me. I haven't quite figured everything out yet, but can we..?" I trailed off, praying Caleb understood what I was trying, and failing, to explain.

Caleb contemplated my words, licking his lips before nodding. He understood. He always did. "Okay, then. Figure it out together?" He seemed to realize where we were, eyes going around before he cleared his throat. "Oh. I should really get going now."

I smiled at him. "Maybe text me when you land?"

Caleb took the handle of his suitcase, nodding but not looking at me directly. "Yeah, of course. Wouldn't want you to worry, right?"

He took one step before my right hand was reached for his.

"Hey. Are we… Are we good?"

Caleb looked at our connected hands first, then he gazed up to stare directly into my eyes. His hand slipped away slightly, and I felt myself frown.

Before I could start feeling guilty, his pinky finger softly intertwined with mine.

"Yeah," He answered, barely audible but with a smile. "We're good."