More manipulations

Gyles. 

What are you doing?

I don't know. 

This is fucked up. 

I have never done anything this lowly in my whole life. I hate this as much as he will after this happens. My wolf is trembling. The fact that I know I shouldn't do this makes me want to even more. I am attracted to blue. I think about him when I got to bed. He will always linger in my mind. I will always wonder what he feels like. This is something I have to do, even though deep down, I know that I shouldn't do this. 

Rex mentioned that we can't have sex until the mating ceremony which is supposed to happen during a full moon. I know that he mentioned consequences. I don't care about the consequences. I don't care about mates and werewolves. I don't care about the goddess of the moon. They want me to be what I am not. I will not succumb to them. 

This is the only way that I can do this.