"Back that up. You are telling me that this guy claims to be everyone in the world's uncle... AND grandpa?" Greg shook his head. "What does that even mean?!"
"We don't know! One day he just showed up to help Steven learn to control his shield," Pearl sighed. "It was one of the worst days of my life."
"We swore never to speak about it and bring it up," Garnet elaborated. "But desperate times call for desperate measures."
"Wait, you let a strange man you've never met hang out with my son?! Gah!"
"To be fair, we beat him up a lot," Amethyst offered.
Garnet nodded. "It was fun."
"So, what exactly do I need to do?" Connie asked. "This is all getting hard to follow."
"How do I put this…?" Pearl started to pace. "We need you to have a problem that Uncle Grandpa can solve…something that I suppose affects your emotional well-being."
Greg blinked. "Wait; you guys aren't going to hurt Connie are you? Her parents would never forgive me!"
"No, Greg. We aren't going to hurt her…but we need her to act like she is hurt," Garnet told them. "Connie, I know you are up to it."
Connie nodded and then looked to the violin that she was forced to bring. "And I think I know just what to do!"
*AGITR*
With the sun getting ready to set in the background, Connie sat on the beach and started to play her instrument. After a little bit of playing, she played a wrong note. "No!"
She started up again until she hit another wrong note. The girl started to growl. "No! I have to be better!"
This scene played out for what seemed to be a half-hour. Connie finally threw the instrument to the ground and buried her head in her arms. She forced herself to cry. "I can't do it! I'll never be a good enough musician for my parents! Why can't I figure this instrument out?! Can't anyone help me?!"
She looked around, hoping to see anything unusual. The beach was as still as it was before. "I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HELP ME!" Connie purposely yelled.
Staring out from the screen door of the beach house, the Gems and Greg waited intently. In addition, a giant pink lion looked out from underneath the porch where it was formerly sleeping. Pearl bit her lip, Garnet twitched her eye behind her sunglasses, Amethyst yawned, and Greg looked confused. "Are you SURE this is the best approach for something like this?"
"Not really to be honest," Amethyst shrugged.
"Wait…I think something is happening!" Pearl shouted excitedly. "…I never thought I'd be so happy for something like this!"
Sure enough, a giant sandcastle erupted from the ground in front of Connie. The girl backed away in horror as tower after tower surrounded her. Once the building materialized, a figure appeared at the top of a sand balcony. He was dressed up like a Victorian nobleman. He wore a giant, pompous hat with a feather coming out of it.
"Hark, from yonder window breaks! It is the east, and Mr. Gus is the sun!" he spoke in a fake English accent. "Hmm…the sun seems to be going down. Can't have that."
The man put on a cowboy hat and lassoed the sun with a rope. He pulled it back to the sky and wiped his hands together. "There we go! Now I can really say…GOOD MORNING!"
"…what…what…what are you?!" Connie asked. "How…how…?!"
"'How?' How do you do!" the voice of the man spoke from behind her. Connie turned around and saw the man as he was. He was a bald man with a little pinwheel hat and a brown mustache. He wore a fanny pack and his pants were held up with rainbow suspenders. "I'm your Uncle Grandpa!"
"I…how did you make that sand castle?"
"What sand castle?" Uncle Grandpa asked.
"That sa…" Connie started before her jaw dropped. The sand castle he arrived in had vanished. Even the towers that were in front of her had disappeared. "I don't believe it!"
"BELIEVE IT!" Uncle Grandpa whipped out a headband and struck a pose. "Did I do that right? I don't know enough about that ninja show. I really should check that place out one day…"
"So, are you a genie or something? A fairy godfather?" Connie scratched her head.
"Nope! I'm just your Uncle Grandpa. Say…" Uncle Grandpa looked around. "This place seems kind of familiar. Where am I again?"
"…Beach City?" Connie offered.
He pulled out a giant map titled THE CN MULTIVERSE and muttered to himself. "Let's see…I'm in the top layer of the trio and based on the current projections I've skipped all the way from Otto Osworth all the way here…wait, Beach City?"
The girl blinked and nodded. A light bulb appeared on top of Uncle Grandpa's head. It was still off. "Wait…let me channel my Uncle Fester for a second." He put the light bulb in his mouth and it lit up. He took it out of his mouth and shoved it into his ear. "Beach City! That means this is where Steven Universe lives!"
"Yes! Yes, it is! I'm Connie Maheswaran! Steven is my best friend!"
He started to clap his hands. "Oh, goodie! I'll be sure to drop in before I'm done. So, I hear you have the music measles! I can fix…"
"Oh, I don't actually," Connie said. "I'm actually an above-average violinist."
Uncle Grandpa started to scratch his head. "Uh…but…Belly Bag, didn't you say that she was having problems with her violin?"
"I did, Uncle Grandpa!" the fanny pack spoke, freaking Connie out to no end. "That's what she said! We've been bamboozled!"
"Allow us, Uncle Grandpa!" Pearl announced in a theatrical voice. The Gems jumped out from the house to the two and Greg trailed behind them, being carried by Steven's pet lion, Lion.
"Oh, it's you guys! Good Morning!" he waved. Then he blinked. "Wait…where's Steven? What's going on? I'm super confused!"
"I might not need help with my violin, Uncle Grandpa," Connie told him. "But we do need your help! Steven is missing! We think he got trapped in the walls of reality and is in another dimension! You are our only hope!"
Uncle Grandpa frowned and scratched his mustache. "Uh…what do you think?"
"I think that this is serious!" a second Uncle Grandpa told the original. Greg jumped back in shock.
"Mr. Myxlplyx here is freaking me out!" he muttered. "Look, the Gems say you are the only one who can help us find my son. Please help me!"
"Since you asked so nicely!" he smiled. He then played his own teeth like a piano and a doorway appeared. "Step right through this door and we'll find Steven faster than you can say…"
"'Good Morning?'" Connie suggested.
"Sure, kid. But next time, let me do the talking."
*AGITR*
The Gems, Connie, and Greg were amazed to see the magical place they were in. "…are we in the back of a van?"
"The U.G.R.V. to be precise!" Uncle Grandpa smiled.
"This is like the tents in Harry Potter!" Connie said amazed. "How did you make the inside bigger than the outside?"
"Willpower, sister!" he nodded. "Hey, Mr. Gus! You around?"
From another room stepped out a green dinosaur wearing a white, sleeveless shirt. "'Sup, Uncle Grandpa…woah, man! It's the Crystal Gems! Lion too! Man, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger is going to be happy to see you!"
"…is that a TALKING DINOSAUR?!" Greg said. "That…is actually pretty awesome."
"Greg!" Pearl muttered. "Don't encourage him!"
Mr. Gus extended his hands out to them. "Man, you guys don't get it! I'm, like, your biggest fans! You guys are probably the best thing to happen to the Multiverse in years!"
"What's a 'Multiverse?'" Amethyst asked.
"You mean the Grant Morrison comic?" Greg scratched his head.
"Naw, man," Mr. Gus corrected. "That's Multiversity. You see, we are all part of something called the 'CN Multiverse.' Very few people can access it. We party sometimes. Let's see…Moltar, TOM, The Joker that one time…"
"That must be it!" Garnet cut him off. "Steven must be lost in this 'Multiverse!' Tell us how to find him!"
"Steven's lost in the Multiverse, you say?" Mr. Gus shook his head. "That's not good."
"Why isn't it good, Mr. Gus?" Connie asked.
Mr. Gus pulled up his computer and drew three circles on his editing software. "Alright...this may be hard to follow, but I'll try anyway. These three circles represent the layers of reality within our Multiverse. We are in the topmost layer here," he explained as he colored in the top circle. "This is the main section of reality. Beyond that are the levels even we can't go to."
"Why? Are they restricted somehow?" Pearl asked, writing down notes as he went along.
"Only if a parent or guardian wants it to be," Mr. Gus shrugged. "This second layer here is guarded over by that fellow TOM I told you about. The stories he tells me…man, it's crazy. I remember when he was asking us about that hamster dimension somehow ended up under his patrol. It was hilarious."
"Is anyone understanding this at all?" Greg asked. "This is making my brain feel like a cracked egg."
"Finally," Mr. Gus said, ignoring Greg. "We have the bottom layer. This layer is practically inaccessible. For a few years, they combined with TOM's area but are once again separate entities. We can't really explain what is happening there…it just kind of exists."
"So, let me get this straight," Connie tried to put the pieces together. "Steven is stuck in one of these layers of reality, right? What if he were stuck in one of those other layers? How can we get him back."
"Simple! They can do it!" Uncle Grandpa pointed to the Gems excitedly.
"…I'm sorry, but what?" Pearl asked.
"The last time we met, you guys got trapped in the layers between dimensions! The one with the sunglasses even created a hole in reality!" he pointed to Garnet. "That means you can cross places even I can't go!"
The Gems and humans just sat there waited for a clearer explanation. "I'm beginning to regret opening my mouth," Amethyst muttered.
"Look, we can help you get Steven back, but we can't join you," Mr. Gus informed them. "Uncle G, do you still have that extra Belly Bag Badge?"
"I loaned it to Pizza Steve!"
Pearl and Garnet immediately shot Amethyst a look. Her eyes widened with fear. "…you don't mean that piece of pizza with the sunglasses…do you?"
"Yup!" Uncle Grandpa honked his nose.
"I…er…I kind of…ate him…" the purple Gem blushed.
"Oh, is that all?" Uncle Grandpa laughed. "Here, give me a second."
He took off his Belly Bag and put it on Amethyst. The older gentleman opened it up and started to rummage around in it. After a moment, he yelled "Aha!" and pulled out…a piece of pizza with sunglasses.
"Woah! That was one place I NEVER want to visit again!" the rude piece of food shouted. "What happened, Uncle G? One second I was chilling with my pal Brownie Ders and now I'm being pulled out of the stomach of that one purple thing that ate me that time!"
"WHY IS THE FOOD TALKING?!" Greg freaked out.
"Wait…you didn't come from my stomach?" Amethyst asked, trying to make sense of this.
Pizza Steve pulled down his sunglasses. "Listen, if anyone ever eats me, I just come back here. It's all part of my awesome flow."
"Pizza Steve, do you have the Belly Bag Badge?" Uncle Grandpa asked him.
"You're darn right I do! I still get to use this for another three weeks!" He pulled out a small pin that looked like Uncle Grandpa's fanny pack.
"Pizza Steve, we need to use it! Steven Universe is in danger and if we don't save him, he might be lost forever in the Multiverse!"
"You mean the Grant Morrison comic?" Pizza Steve asked.
Connie walked behind the talking piece of Italian cuisine and took the Badge from him. "Sorry! We will give it back to you!"
"Hey! You do not take from Pizza Steve! Pizza Steve takes from you!" he fumed.
"Please, Pizza Steve? I'll let you use it for another month!" Uncle Grandpa begged.
The food sighed. "Fine…I'll do it. If only because that's a month that Mr. Gus can't use it!"
The young girl started to look over the badge and fiddled around with it. "So, what does it do?"
"It allows you to transport yourself from world to world. If you press this," he pointed to the molded in zipper. "It will open up the rift. Every rift will open up at the same point in the worlds. Whenever you reach the world that Steven will be on, Lion should automatically be able to sense him and take you directly to him. Since you don't know where that world is, you have to follow the dimensions in order. This map here is your best friend."
He handed the map Uncle Grandpa was using to Garnet. "There are new dimensions and worlds being added to the Multiverse every day. Keep your guard up."
"What do we do when we find Steven?" Greg asked. "Keep going to every world until we come back to this one?"
"Oh, that's easy," Mr. Gus turned the badge to its back and showed them a small image of Uncle Grandpa's face. "Just click this and then press the other button and you will automatically be sent back here."
"I think I got everything written down!" Pearl finished scribbling. "Are you joining us, Uncle Grandpa?"
"I can't, Pearl. I have to continue to help the children of the world!" Uncle Grandpa said. "Besides, the author said in the last chapter that I'm not a major character in this story!"
The Gems all looked to each other and shrugged. Clearly Uncle Grandpa's subtle breaking of the fourth wall went over their heads.
"So, this is it. Gems, are you ready?" Garnet asked sternly.
Pearl and Amethyst nodded. Lion growled in agreement. Garnet then turned to Greg and Connie. "Greg, I don't think you and Connie should be coming on this mission. It is too dangerous."
"No! Steven needs me! He needs all of us!" Connie stood her ground.
"But you don't even have your sword...or Rose's for that matter!" Pearl argued.
"Yes, she does!" Uncle Grandpa interjected. He handed her a backpack. "I picked them up for you when you weren't looking and stuffed 'em in my backpack! Here's that big pink sword and your violin! You don't want to forget your practice!"
"How…you know what? I'm just going to stop questioning everything that I've seen in this place," Connie blinked before allowing herself to enjoy the backpack that defied the laws of physics.
"Connie," Greg started. "I'm with the Gems on this one. We shouldn't get involved with this one. We've already lost Steven…"
"You're telling me you don't want to save him?!" Connie yelled. "Don't you want to be there when we rescue your son?!"
"Of course I do!" Greg folded his arms. "I want to do that more than anything in the world! But I can't risk losing you! I can't put your parents through that!"
"Well, then it's a good thing we are with the Crystal Gems. They always save the day," Connie stared intently at her elders.
"And if you think they can't, they'll always find a way," Greg laughed softly. "Darn it. Fine, we're coming too. If we are saving Steven, we are saving him as a family!"
The Gems nodded, however reluctantly. They activated the badge and with that, they vanished into the CN Multiverse.
"Think they'll be okay, Uncle Grandpa?" Mr. Gus asked.
"I know so, Mr. Gus. I know so…"
*AGITR*
The first rift opened up and the Gems found themselves in a cold, sterile environment. Various pieces of equipment filled every corner of the never ending room. The sound of computers blinking and cogs pounding filled the air.
"This…this is amazing!" Connie let out an excited breath.
"This must be some kind of industrial laboratory…" Pearl examined a computer terminal. "The handiwork is extraordinary."
Garnet shook her head. "But it's not a desert or a snowy field. This can't be where Steven is."
"Well, how do we know that?" Greg asked. "This is one room! You don't know what is…"
"Excuse me?!" a young, accented voice called out. "What are you doing in my laboratory?!" From another end of the lab, a small child in a lab coat and glasses shuffled toward them. He eyes them. "Who sent you?! What is with the pink lion?! Is Mandark up to something?!"
"Um…" Pearl tried to find the right words. "Little boy…"
"My name is Dexter, madam, and I do not have time for pleasantries! I am a man of science and your presence interrupts my work!" he grunted. "I must ask you to tell me just how you have infiltrated my laboratory so I may create the means to prevent it in the future!"
"You BUILT this…in your room?!" Connie asked, amazed. "You must be some kind of genius."
The boy started to blush for a moment, but shook it off. "Genius I may be, I still must ask you to share your knowledge with me! Tell me your secrets!"
The Gems started to protest, but Lion started to roar. He shook his head in sadness. "You can't sense Steven here, Lion, can you?" Greg's face saddened a bit. "Should have known that he wouldn't be in the first world we tried."
"We have to press on," Garnet commanded. "We are sorry for breaking in, little Dexter. You will never see us again." She pressed the badge and in a shining light, Dexter was left alone with his machines.
"…something is telling me that I do not want to know what that just was," he shook his head. "I suppose I will have to figure out how to stop such security breaches from occurring on my own..."
*AGITR*
The next area that the Gems landed was far more suburban. It seemed to be a giant city or town. Lion sniffed the air anxiously.
"What is it, Lion? Is it Steven?!" Pearl asked frantically.
The creature shook his head put pointed with his paw. As he did so, multiple giant monsters broke down several buildings in a roaring rampage. Greg screamed and jumped back behind Garnet. "What the heck are those things?!"
"It looks like…a Corrupted Gem!" Amethyst said in surprise. "Woah! This must be where all of those lost Gems must have ended up!"
"So why isn't Steven here?" Connie asked.
"The Rifting Stone has been dormant for decades…it might have instinctively shifted itself from this world to another," Pearl offered, watching the destruction their former Gem comrades were inflicting. "If those are Gems…"
"That makes defending this town our responsibility," Garnet said sternly. The Gems all produced their weapons and were prepared to fight the wayward Gems, but a rainbow of light filled the sky. In one swift motion, three little girls started fighting the monsters with little to no effort expended.
"I think those kids can handle it," Greg pointed out.
"Agreed," Garnet nodded. "Let's not waste any more time here."
"But…" Pearl watched as a girl wearing a green and black dress started to punch a monster directly into the sky. "Surely we can contain their Gems? Try to find a way to help them?
Garnet shot her a pained look. "Steven is waiting for us alone and friendless. We WILL find him no matter how many worlds we look at! He is the priority!"
The elegant Gem nodded remorsefully, but indicated she was ready to move on. The Gem warrior activated the Belly Bag Badge once more. Again and again they travel the Multiverse and again and again they fail to locate him. How many worlds will it take before the Universe family will be reunited?
And will they be too late?