Revitalized

AN: For the songs mentioned here, please listen to it as you read through that specific part of the chapter so you will understand what JayB was feeling that time as he sings these songs. Thank you!

_________

JayB's POV

"Hyung!" That was the last thing I heard from Jiwoo before my back hit the ground as I was being tackled by my members. They piled up on top of me while either crying or laughing.

After resolving my issues in Atlantis, I immediately flew to Hawaii to catch up with our vacation. That's one thing that I definitely did't want to miss out this year. I've already wasted enough time trying to recover my company. It's time that I actually enjoy some peace and quiet. And what better way to do it than having fun with my friends and label mates in the majestic island of Hawaii.

"Are you for real?! Are you really back?!" Zee was crying really hard.

I chuckled. "I'm finally back and stop crying, will you? You have your coming of age performance soon."

They laughed as they slowly stood up from the ground. We were all covered in sand… well… I, mostly, was covered in sand. The rest of the members helped me pat of the sand on me as Seiji-hyung ruffled my hair. "Welcome back, JayB-ya. I can finally be relieved off of my duties."

I smirked. "I actually talked to PD-nim and asked him to make you the permanent leader for the group."

His smile was wiped off his face and was replaced with the look of fear. "No, no, no, no, you must be kidding me."

His reaction made me laugh before slapping his back. "I'm just messing with you, hyung. You must have had a hard time being the leader."

He sighed deeply. "You have NO idea."

"I'm just glad to be back." I told them as I placed my fist in front of me to signal them to do our team huddle. They all did the same. Since I wasn't around for almost a year, they wanted me to lead it the chant. I happily obliged.

"Alpha Team!" I yelled out loud.

"Move out!" They responded in unison.

We were about to head back to our cottage when a member from the staff handed us a mission card. Seiji-hyung then groaned. "But we just finished a mission…"

His reaction was really funny which made the crew and our members laugh. I was focused on the first mission that I would be having while on vacation. I slowly opened the large purple envelope and read the mission out loud. "Plan for your next album. JYP PD-nim wants you to release just one album for next year. Make it count. Your album must contain these 3 songs with the following concepts. First, something that hypes up a crowd. Second, a song that's like a breath of fresh air. And lastly, a song about what you want to say to your fans, the pack. You have until before the open forum tonight."

"What? But it's already sunset!" Jeong Do reacted.

Dominic sighed in resignation. "We have dinner in an hour, then after that we have to wash the dishes. Then we have to gather in the grand hall for the open forum."

"Which means we basically have no time." Zhang continued.

Everybody was silent for a while. Then Jeong Do made a loud sigh. "We have no choice but to use our last free pass."

They all turned to me as I raised my hand. They all saw that I was confused. "What's a free pass?"

Jiwoo sighed. "Basically, it helps us escape some punishments. Each group has 3 of it. We used up two of it in the last two weeks."

"Why did you guys use it?" I asked them out of curiosity.

Zee smiled wryly. "Jiwoo and I used it on the bungee jump punishment. You know how much we hate heights."

"And the other one?" I asked.

"Used to avoid eating insects and other disgusting stuff." Yo Chul-hyung answered bluntly.

I rested my face on the palm of my hands and sighed. "Are you sure? We still have 9 more days in this trip. A lot can actually still happen."

Jeong Do waved it off. "It's fine. There are also group wars where we can win a free pass."

"I see. Still, it's still pretty risky to trade it off now." I agreed with them. But in the end, we decided to use up our last free pass. I just hope that it's worth it.

"We better make it count then." Dominic responded.

Dominic's response made me smile. He's the mood maker of the group for a reason. Zee and Dominic are doing a great job at it. I don't know how they do it, but it works none the less. After fighting my battles alone, I'm glad that I get to stand on the same side with these people again.

"Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Jeong Do confidently and happily exclaimed.

_________

"Well that went better than I expected." Matt-hyung said as I joined them.

We were now in a large Hawaiian style auditorium and we just finished our open forum with the rest of the company. Each leader was to collect each member's concerns and try to say it all in 3 minutes. It was difficult to convey it in such a short span of time, but we actually got to finish it in two hours. There was a lot of crying that happened not just with our members but also with other groups as well. We were surprised that a lot of our hoobaes were thanking us because PD-nim told them about us not releasing any major songs this year for them to promote properly. I also gave them a bunch of songs before I went on hiatus which helped them gain more popularity. They were grateful for that as well.

Our brainstorming also went well. At first, the members asked me if I already had a lot of songs in my demo library. I lied and told them that I didn't. It's because I wanted them to pitch in on some ideas on what they wanted to happen for the next album. Thankfully, I had songs from the previous world that matched their suggestions. All that's left is to show them.

"Alright, everyone! We have a special challenge for you. Each of you must send off one representative first before we tell you what it is." PD-nim with his Hawaiian outfit went inside the room to announce it.

"Can we have a hint of at least what it is?" Min from Wonder Girls raised her hand and asked.

PD-nim smiled and nodded. "Fair enough. Okay. Let's say that it takes a lot of musicality and artistic poetry to do win this challenge."

We all turn to Zhang and smiled at him. Yo Chul-hyung patted his back. "We all know who to send in front."

But Zhang surprisingly shook his head as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "I think that we should send JayB-hyung instead."

"What? Why? It's better if you do it. That's a no brainer." I rebutted. Isn't this an obvious decision? Shouldn't the prodigy of music fit the criteria?

Zhang chuckled. "I know. But in terms of poetic artistry, you're better."

I smiled wryly. "Stop. You're basically admitting that I'm better in lyric writing than you."

"Just think of it as your comeback stage. I really miss hearing you sing on stage." He replied.

"Who says that there would be singing?" I tried my best not to be dragged in this situation.

But I felt a sudden slap on my back. "I agree with Zhang-ie with this one. Go for it, JayB-ya."

"Are you sure?" I asked Zhang in a worried tone. I thought that this might break his pride and ego, and I didn't want that to happen.

He smiled and I knew that he himself was excited. "Hyung, I'm looking forward to it. Besides, this is your first mission since you came back. So you better do well."

I sighed. "Fine. Wish me luck then."

As soon as I stood up and walked towards PD-nim, I realized that I was the last one to head up the stage. PD-nim then smiled at me. "Welcome back, JayB-ya."

After he said that, the auditorium rang in applause and cheers. It was a warm homecoming for me. It really is good to be back. The rest of the volunteers also came to welcome me up on stage.

"Now that we have your representatives, I'll now give the instructions." He paused for a while before something on the screen flashed. "Tonight, we'll have a spontaneous songwriting challenge. It is to test out your creativity under pressure. I noticed that this year, we are heavily relying on our producers and have been neglecting the submission of songs from the artists themselves. Since our family is growing we need to know how to write songs so we can easily produce them."

He then motioned for us to look at the screen. "On the screen there are categories. When a category comes up, you have 30 seconds to think. Afterwards, you have to sing for at least 20 seconds, but you can go beyond it. There will be three rounds all in all. Each round will be judged by me as to which song stood out the most. The order of the people who would go first would be determined by their ranking from the previous round. For the first round, you will be drawing lots to determine when you'll have a go."

As soon as he said that, a bunch of stage managers started setting up an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar and a grand piano up on the stage. They were also setting up the microphones as well. While they were busy with that, the rest of us went to draw lots. I could see the nervousness from the rest of the representatives. Their members were cheering out loud for them. When I turned to see my members, they were smiling happily and were giving me a thumbs up.

When the last person finished drawing, PD-nim then continued with the instructions. "Each contestant can choose to play an instrument per round or can also sing it in acapella. It's fine as long as they can clearly deliver the message of the song."

"I'm probably going to mess up." Wonpil whispered to me.

Shownu also sighed. "If I knew it was going to be like this, I wouldn't have volunteered to go up."

"Cheer up guys. Let's do well." I tried to boost their morale.

Jinyoung-hyung chuckled beside me. "Speak for yourself, Mr. Producer."

I shook my head as I try to listen to the next set of instructions from PD-nim. "Oh. The prize for this event is an extra free pass."

The rest of our label mates clapped but we could sense that they weren't that happy with the prize since the mission this time was really hard, and they have every right to be disappointed.

Nayeon then rolled her eyes. "That's it? I can't believe that I have to use so much of my brain tnight for a free pass."

PD-nim then chuckled. "I can sense that you are a little bit unhappy with the prize. So… I'll mention the OTHER prize as well." He paused for a while before he pressed his clicker. The screen then changed. "The winners or winner for this mission will get a 2-day mission and punishment free time, as well as a 2-day stay on this amazing resort." The screen then showed a very nice looking resort which rendered the audience in awe.

But…

Wait… that's my resort…

So if I win, wouldn't it make me feel like I've didn't win at all?

It made me sigh. Still, a prize is a prize.

"May the best group and soloist win!" PD-nim excitedly announced.

The first person to go was Jang Wooyoung from 2PM. The rest of us were heading down to the first row seats to wait for our turn. While walking towards the stairs, IU-sunbae whispered something to me. "Are you excited for it?"

"Oh? Sunbae! It's been a while. I'm actually nervous." I replied. It's good to see her. She looks… happier this time. I wonder why.

She giggled. "Don't worry about it. I'm going to use some of my songs from the… other world just in case. You should too."

I chuckled. "Isn't that cheating?"

"I prefer to call it… surviving." She smiled at me as she responded.

"Fine. Do well." I told her as I returned a smile of my own.

"I need to say that to you since you're going to lose." She patted my back as she gave me a wink before heading for her seat.

This girl…

Seriously…

I'm just glad that we're not awkward anymore.

We were listening attentively to people who were on stage. Soon, it was my turn. I slowly made my way to the stage. The applause soon halted as I turn towards the screen. A bunch of categories alternately flashed as it was starting to pick my category. I was holding my breath the entire time this was happening. I was silently praying for an easy category. Soon it stopped.

"Love at first sight."

I sighed deeply as I scanned through my head for a specific song. The crowd was starting to talk in whispers as I stood there trying to think of a song.

How should I go about this then? Think... Well, I sing something for her, then that'll be easy. I'll sing THAT song then…

"JayB-ssi… you may start now." PD-nim reminded.

I made my way to the grand piano and tried my best to calm my nerves by cracking my knuckles and controlling my breathing. I closed my eyes. After opening them again, I tried my best to look for HER in the crowd. When I finally saw her, I smiled at her hoping that she wouldn't realize that it was for her.

My fingers started pressing the keys as the song Miracle from GOT7 resounded in the auditorium. I heard a certain group of people gasp and saying wow. I tried to block it away as I drowned myself in the song. I started opening my mouth to sing the song.

[That kind of day that is cold

And freezing winter particularly to me

And a kind of night that sun passed by

As if it forgot about me

You who were standing in front of me by coincidence

It was like a beam of light to me

My sky that was dark with no one coming to see

You became a little star and twinkled to brightly]

I purposely prolonged the last part of the pre-chorus as I turn to catch a glance of her again. I tried to recall the version of HER in the previous world. It was also like this, I met her as I bumped into her while heading for JYP Entertainment to meet with JYP PD-nim for the upcoming song for Stray Kids. It was a very horrible day for me and I even hesitated to go inside the building. It was then that she handed me a cup of warm coffee telling me that it would be fine. She said that she didn't know who I was, but just wanted to cheer me up. That was the first time I met her. With that in mind, I opened my mouth and sang the words that I wanted to say to her.

[At the end of the winter

Me meeting you who was spring to me

Oh miracle, for me, to me it was like a miracle

Ever since you came

This winter's not cold as it used to be anymore

Because I have you

Who is looking at me… yeah]

I ended the song there and slowly turned to PD-nim as I stood up. The crowd slowly erupted in cheers and applause. As soon as it died down, PD-nim then smiled, "I don't even need to say anything. Let me ask you though. Did you make that ahead of time?"

"No, sir." I lied. It's pre-made in THAT world though.

He chuckled. "So why do I feel so much emotion coming from that song?"

"I guess… it's because those words... were what I wanted to say to someone. Too bad I didn't get the chance." I replied.

He sighed. "Well, any girl would be delighted to hear that from you."

"Not her though." I remarked which made everyone laugh.

"What makes you so sure?" He asked.

I smiled at him. "To be honest, I'm not so sure anymore. Anyway, can we not talk about this?"

The crowd erupted into laughter as they heard me say that, PD-nim then asked me to come down and wait for the next round. It was an intense battle. Even I didn't know who'd win. Surprisingly though, I ended up first place for this round. So I had to go up first as the second round started. I did the same thing. I made my way to the stage and waited for the category to appear. This time it was something that I'm familiar with.

"A promise to someone."

I wanted to sing something special but I didn't want to break everybody's spirits if I ended up taking first place because of the songs. The hoobaes were already complaining about it in the open forum. So I chose a song that I liked from the previous world which still somehow falls under the category but vaguely, which was Beautiful Life by Crush. This was also an OST for the Korean drama called "Goblin."

My time for "brainstorming" was up, so I went to grab the acoustic guitar this time since it was easier to play the song using it. I started plucking the strings and hummed a little. Once I finished playing the intro of the song, I slowly opened my mouth.

[It's a beautiful life

Forever I'll stay by your side

It's a beautiful life

Always standing right behind you

Beautiful love

Cause we're standing under the same sky

Even though we are worlds apart]

We are really worlds apart now… but I will try to be happy, knowing that I might have a shot to have a beautiful life with you here in this world.

[Beautiful life

Beautiful day

Though I am only living in memories

Beautiful life

Beautiful day

Won't you let me inside your heart?

Beautiful my love

Beautiful your heart

It's a beautiful life]

As I ended the song, I slowly put the guitar back on the stand while listening to the crowd's applause. PD-nim gave his comment stating that it was vaguely talking about a promise. He mentioned that only the verse was subtly talking about it. Though it was talking about a promise, it still wasn't THAT clear. But he loves the song anyway and he told me that it's still part of his favorites from today's challenge.

Soon, the second round was done, and we were given a five minute break. I used that time to wash my face and clear my head. I was thinking too much. I reminded myself that this was just a mission and that I shouldn't be too emotional about it. When I returned, they already announced the ranking from the previous round. IU ended up in first place because of the song she used from the previous world. I was in 9th place this time. We didn't take so much time and just stared the next round. I patiently waited for my turn as I tried to recall as many songs as possible.

I just needed to sing a song that's related to the category. I just hope that it's something light and not heavy. The last thing I wanted was to remember the previous world and cry on stage. That would totally be bad.

Alas… I probably jinxed it…

"A song about regrets."

That was what the fates have chosen for me.

I stood there with my mouth agape. There was only one song that popped up on my mind. I was recently singing it as I was heading here in Hawaii. I recalled my time with her in the previous world and how I wished I just told her how much I still love her despite the situation. Sadly, I died before that happened.

Heading over the piano once again, I tried to control my emotions so I wouldn't cry while singing the song. I searched for her again in the crowd and found her sitting beside Jihyo. My heart skipped a beat when I saw her there.

I wonder how she's doing now…

Did she miss me while I was away?

I really wanted to tell her now, but I'm too afraid of being rejected.

If only…

I stared at her as I started playing the piano. I didn't look away as I wanted to tell her this so badly. I know that she's not the same as the person that I loved in the previous world. But I somehow still wanted to sing this for her. I then started singing an OST from the Liar and his Lover. It was DK's Missed Connections…

[I couldn't tell you

If I tell you what's in my heart

Perhaps we will drift apart

Maybe that's why I hesitate]

I gulped as I tried to swallow the pain that my heart was emitting. This song brought back so many memories. But I did my best to push back the tears.

[I should've told you that I love you first

I should've told you that I'm in love with you

Then I wouldn't have been regretting like this right now]

Tears were welling up in my eyes as I closed it trying to think of her again...

What if I did?

Would things be the same?

I wish I did…

If only I did…

[I should've gone to you first and told you

I should've said that we're similar

More than anyone else, it's you.]

I opened my eyes realizing that she was looking at me with sad eyes.

You don't have to be sad for me, love…

I'm the reason why things became this way…

If only… I was strong enough to protect… us…

I paused for a while, as I skipped a few stanzas. PD-nim was about to stop me thinking that I was already done, but decided not to when he heard the next line.

[It's late but I'll tell you I love you

Words I couldn't say because you weren't here

The words "I love you"

The words, "I love you", those words.]

The crowd went silent as they turn to me.

Some were crying.

Others were speechless.

PD-nim was choking on his tears.

The audience didn't know how to react. PD-nim just let it be and proceeded to the next person as he himself couldn't say anything from his constant sobbing.

I on the other hand was still crying as I joined the other participants off stage. I didn't know why, but that song hit me hard. The people around me didn't say anything to me thinking that I was still recovering from my mental health issue. They just told me that it was going to be okay. Soon the announcement came and we ended up winning this mission. It felt like I didn't win at all, but I was still thankful that we can now have an actual vacation on hand, and that made it worth the pain.

The rest of the remaining days in Hawaii flew by speedily. Missions happened here and there. The rest of our label mates also asked about what happened during the songwriting challenge. I just responded that I was just thinking about the many regrets as a trainee. They actually bought it... well some did. The rest were still curious about it but didn't have the courage to ask. SHE, on the other hand, avoided me the entire time.

The next thing I knew, we were already at the company's recording studio as we were continuing our plans for the next album. This time, PD-nim didn't rush us. He was still pretty much shaken from the final song that I sang during the songwriting challenge. He also thought that it was okay for me to take it slow this time since there were plenty of us that were having a comeback next year.

We were in the middle of our discussion when one of our managers came in. "JayB-ya. I finally have a gig for you! It might be your official comeback, but it's not going to be singing nor acting. I hope that's okay?"

I waved him off as I chuckled. "It's fine. It's hard to get a solo gig after going on a hiatus because of mental health issues. The producers and directors are probably thinking that I'm too fragile to comeback."

He smiled. "I know what you mean. It actually took us a while to get you this one."

"So what's the gig, hyung?" Zee asked our manager.

He then smiled widely as he answered excitedly. "You were asked to be the guest MC for this week's SBS Inkigayo. It's the last for this year before we hit the season for the year-end award shows."

________