It's Always Her!

***WARNING! Mention of drugs***

"I'm sorry, Iris, but I'm going to be busy watching over Emma…yeah. Okay, thanks, and again, Happy Birthday~!"

Mabel sighed as soon as she hung up, turning in Emma's direction only to see Oscar's hunched back sitting on a stool.

"It's Iris's birthday today," she awkwardly mentions making her way to drink water.

"…The room must be pretty expensive, whose taking care of the costs? Your parents?"

Mabel almost spits her water out, "huh? Uh, no. Belen offered to help me with the expenses."

Oscar quietly scoffs, "as if I'd believe that. I can tell she is the same as before. She hates me."

"It shouldn't matter anyway. We won't be together for long."

Oscar quickly turns to meet Mabel's determined eyes, "We're not going to start this again!" he growls quietly, not to make a commotion. Primarily since they know Emma is unconscious, they've heard stories about those in a coma who listen to everything in their slumber.

"Emma is going to find out eventually. I don't like hiding things from her," Mabel mentions staring at Emma with a hint of worry in them.

"NO. We can work this out later once Emma is awake," Oscar desperately claims, trying to buy more time with Mabel, but she already knows that's precisely what he wants.

"Oscar, let's get a divorce," she says, thoughtfully staring at his widened shaking pupils.

"W-What are you even saying?" he says, flabbergasted.

"I can't continue to live like this. You clearly said to me that day that you want to be a bachelor. So take it, I'll leave you."

"Mabel, I was out of my mind back then. Come on, please, it won't happen again!" he desperately begs, almost kneeling on the floor before her.

But Mabel's hurt expression makes Oscar shiver when she goes on to explain, "Oscar, I know you! Do you think a simple apology will do?" She pauses for a moment, "you've been cheating on me since I was in my last trimester with Emma. You took a break once Emma was born, but once things got better and we bought a house, you relaxed and started again…"

Oscar couldn't hide his embarrassed expression because he knew all too well that was the truth. He cheated, and when Mabel found out, he couldn't help but childishly tell her that he wants to be alone. But what broke her the most was the trust she thought she had with him. She even went as far as to be in denial for a whole year, keeping an eye to see if he'd ever stop.

"And you-you even went as far as to leave Emma in the care of THAT bitch!" Mabel bitterly yells.

"I've told you before. She was just watching her while I-"

"Stop. Don't! I just can't imagine being with you again."

His eyes widen as tears began streaming down his cheeks, "I don't want to lose you, Mabel, please! Forgive me just this once. Don't I deserve mercy at least once? We all make mistakes!"

"I'm no god to be forgiving so easily," Mabel kneels to meet his eyes, "why do you think Emma became mute."

"Now you're just trying to find someone to blame! It's not because of me. You are her mother."

"AND YOU ARE HER FATHER!" Mabel angrily expresses, trying to hold back her tears.

He hangs his head, feeling ashamed, "…I know," he says lowly.

But seeing him like that only infuriates her, "See, this is exactly why she stopped talking, because of us."

"Now you're dramatic. You got drunk, crashed the car, and ended up staying overnight in the police station! I had to be the one to bail you out! Can you believe how awful you must've looked to Emma?"

"You drove me to insanity, Oscar!" she shouts, unable to stop her tears from trailing down her cheeks, "and to think," she disappointedly sighs, standing up, "your parents somehow knew you were cheating on me and didn't bother to tell me anything. Oh! But what's worse is the fact that when I told them, you know what they did?! NOTHING! They turned their backs on me! While living under MY F*CKING ROOF!" she explodes, making Oscar uncomfortable.

No matter how Mabel went about it, Oscar couldn't refute her because it was the truth. He never suspected his parents of being entirely on his side, that is until everything exploded.

"That is all in the past now, Mabel," he says calmly, "What matters now is this moment. We can fix this!" he excitedly stands, trying to cup her hands in his.

Mabel turns away, "There was never anything to fix. The only thing I have to fix now is cutting you out of my life."

Just as Oscar was about to say something, regret, unfairness, and anger ensue him. He arrogantly scoffs, "ha! You say that, but you know very well you can't leave me, Mabel."

In that instant, she turns to meet his arrogant gaze, "what?" She internally gasps, widening her eyes, "What do you think you are? A trophy I can't afford to lose? Yes, I'll admit. At first, I wasn't able to do anything. All I know was that I wanted to leave that damned house!"

"Which one? Ours or your fathers?"

Mabel gets shivers down her spine. Just remembering the thrill of the day she ran away from her father on the day of her high school graduation somehow made her feel a bit regretful. It made her think for a moment, "had I not left, where would I be right now?" She contemplates for a moment until a sharp image of Belen pops into her head, making her shake her head, "no, I'd still be under my dad's control. Like a puppet, like Belen."

"See! You can't even answer. I know you very well, Mabel. There is no way your broken family can help you! I bet your sisters don't care about you. I mean, you've said it before, you wished you were not born into that family!"

"If they didn't care about me, then Belen never would've agreed to help me…" she shakes her head, "you're wrong Oscar, I was young, naïve, and stupid back then. I said what I said because I thought you'd always be by my side."

"I am! I always will!" he ironically claims, trying to soothe her anger.

"You lied to me. You betrayed my trust. I can't see you the same anymore."

"We can work this out Mabel, don't give up on us just yet," he beggingly says.

"We're just going in circles at this point, Oscar," she says, bitterly drying her tears, "there is no turning back. I, too, want my freedom."

"You're not going to get it here. Your father won't accept you back in the family once he finds out we have Emma!"

"You're afraid, aren't you? That for once I might actually come to like my family?"

"No, I'm not!"

She coldly says, "you're afraid to lose everything, aren't you? Everything that I've given you…the American Dream, right, Oscar?" she says sharply, striking a nerve in Oscar.

He only flinched, "Do I seem like I care about that right now?"

"Maybe not, but isn't that what your parents are afraid of? They probably convinced you to come looking for me since I haven't made any house payments. I doubt you have. I'm sure they're probably shaking right now, hoping for you to bring me back for their sake, isn't that right, Oscar? Isn't that the kind of "son" you are to your parents?" she says coldly, striking almost every nerve.

He pitifully retaliates, "Says the one who helped their mother cheat."

Mabel is triggered, "YOU KNOW VERY WELL I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON! MY MOM WAS THE ONE WHO LIED TO ME!"

Just then, the doctor walked in, making them silent as a mouse. But the atmosphere felt awkward even for the nurses that followed after the doctor. Mabel couldn't help but feel embarrassed, thinking if perhaps they heard everything.

"Excuse me" she strikes a sad smile at the doctor and nurses, leaving the room.

Oscar wanted to chase after her, but the doctor stopped and started asking him some questions.

As Mabel stepped foot out into the mini garden within the hospital's open square, she finally breathed.

After a few breathing exercises, Mabel felt relaxed from the tension she felt back in the room. She looked up in a daze while staring at the white fluffy clouds across her sight.

In that moment of inner peace, her phone suddenly rings, alarming her to answer, "hello?"

"Ah, Mabel! Que haces?" her mother, Ernestina, asks.

"Ooh, I'm at the hospital, mom, and you?"

Ernestina profoundly sighs, "I'm at the cemetery visiting your older sister, Irancita."

"That's good," Mabel says lowly, "mom, how was Irancita before she passed away?" Mabel felt shocked she even asked this question, but something inside her made her curious to know more about the type of child Irancita was.

Ernestina couldn't help but surprisingly let out a gasp, "she was bright, talkative, and charming," she sadly chuckles, "my Irancita was a sweet girl. I see a lot of her in Emma."

As Ernestina stopped talking, she could hear sniffs over the phone, "estas llorando mi chula?" she asks sincerely. (Are you crying, my pretty daughter?)

Mabel was barely able to utter a single syllable, "Ma, I don't know what to do," she says in a crackling voice.

"What happened, Mabel?" Ernestina seriously asks, thinking if perhaps the worst happened to Emma.

But Mabel hurtfully answers, "It's Oscar. I don't know what to do, Ma."

Ernestina sighs in relief, "I can't help you there. Do what you want to do, Mabel. I'm your mother, but I can't tell you how to live your life."

"I can't! Ma, I-I'm afraid to forgive him!" she quietly says in a hoarse tone while clenching her chest, "I don't know what would be the best choice for Emma."

"You have to think for yourself, Mabel," her mom last says after hanging up.

But as soon as she hung up, Mabel couldn't help but cover her face while quietly crying, "Is that how you felt, mom? Is that why you left my dad? Is that why you were able to abandon us so that you can become happy? But then what about all of us? I don't want to do that to Emma. If I leave him, only I will become happy, but what about Emma? If-If only we were a real family, then maybe it wouldn't be a problem. But my mom and dad have gone their separate ways. There is no chance of us coming together. Especially with Belen distancing herself from us. And Iris…her addiction."

***

"Daddy~ It's my birthday today~!" Iris childishly shouts aloud throughout the hallway when Edy pops his head out of his office, gesturing Iris to enter.

"Do you have any plans today?" Edy solemnly asks, leaning against his chair.

"mm, I'm going to meet up with some friends. Daddy~ can you give me some money as my birthday gift?" she asks innocently, trying to gain her father's favor.

But Edilberto quickly frowns, "I can, but I need you to answer something."

"Okay! What do you need help in?"

His face turns serious, "why aren't you working?" he says coldly, making Iris flinch at his sudden question.

"H-Huh?" she breaks out in cold sweat, unable to answer him directly and nervously looks away from his strict gaze, "what are you talking about, daddy?"

"Iris," he sighs, standing up, "I know everything about you and that plant you smoke!"

"Who said so?"

"Iris!" Edy shouts, unable to keep his anger in check. "I've been knowing! I just couldn't believe it and decided to stay in denial! But I can't anymore, not after seeing how much weight you've lost in less than a year!" he stares, examining her thin flat cheeks that look as if they can sink into her face.

"I didn't want to believe it but look at you, Iris! You looked better off being gordita!" (fat)

"I'm tired of always being called that! I got used to hearing it from you and my mom! I just want to be skinny. I want to feel beautiful!"

"For the men?! Is that it? are you going around flaunting that thin body of yours?!" Edy furiously shouts, almost spitting on Iris's face.

She backed away two steps, "I'm not a prostitute! I've been going out looking for work!"

"Oh yeah?! Then why do you come home with your boyfriend and lock yourselves in your room smoking that damn plant?!!" Edy tries to catch his breath.

Iris's pupils start shaking in agony as if she were in physical pain hearing her father's offensive words. "Who's the one telling you everything about my life? I bet it's Leah, isn't it?! She has to mind her own damn business!" just as she was about to leave his office, Edy stops her.

"Iris! I'm so disappointed in you! Why did you turn out this way?!" he says sadly with regret in his tone.

But Iris retaliates with a cracked voice, "You always say that about me! When I got pregnant, in school, and even now! Everything I do is never enough for you! Why am I always seen as the rebellious child to you, dad?! Hah! Answer me that, dad! How come you treat me differently from Belen? That bitch gets treated better than I do!" she breaks down crying, gritting her teeth, "why dad! Why! You loved me the most. It wasn't until Belen was born that she took you away from me! And Mabel…F*ck!" She stops herself from spilling her heart anymore to her dad because something within her didn't feel like anything she said will stay in her dad's mind.

She knows her dad best and instead proceeded to wipe her tear away with a knot in her eyebrows, "Stop caring about me and go running to your favorite daughter. Belen has always been your favorite! You gave her EVERYTHING! And what do I get?!…. nothing, it's always like that, right, dad? I stay with nothing." She stares at her father's silent blank response, making her feel stupid for even trying to relay her feelings to him. She couldn't help but feel embarrassed and just ran out of the house.

Once she disappeared, Edy was speechless. No words came out of his mouth. No comments. He couldn't think of anything. Everything that Iris just spilled made him too shocked to reflect.

Edy is a friendly neighbor and person to anyone who meets him. He'd even go as far as to help anyone in need. But one thing Edy lacked was being with his daughters. He usually left that ordeal to his wife, Ernestina. To think even she neglected them, but what made Edy curious and focused was trying to find out what or where did he go wrong.

He worked hard to earn money so his family could eat every single night. Even when A Star Is was on the verge of bankruptcy, he managed to make enough so Iris, Azaan, and Belen could eat.

"I admit, back then, I talked to Belen the most, but…" he hesitates, speaking his thoughts aloud within his empty office, "she was the only one who ever asked. Iris never cared or asked me about work. Every time I'd talk to her, it was the same, to give her money. But Belen always asked and even preferred to come work with me. She was the only one who seemed to care about my business. Belen is the only one who'd ask me about my brothers back in Mexico. My father and mother. Belen listened to all of those stories with such anticipation in her eyes. I didn't know it looked like that to Iris…"

He suddenly remembers a memory that they were on their way home from a camping trip with his family's side. Iris and Azaan were sitting in the van's back, and Belen was putting on classical romantic Mexican songs.

Belen was used to sitting in the passenger seat and always managed to play good music, which she and her father enjoyed the most. They both shared similar interests, but at the same time, were complete opposites. He recalls a moment in the car in which he and Belen sang the chorus part of the song in Spanish, "because this little girl is sad and I don't know what to do…"

Iris only knew the chorus part of the song, and when it came on, she did her best to sing along to their harmonization. Belen only laughed, while Edy slightly turned back to see Iris's cheeky smile, "was that right?"

Edy playfully replies, "you don't know the lyrics, gordita."

He gasps, coming back to reality, "was it since then? Is Iris jealous of Belen?"

***

"So Iris! What did your family give you?" asks a close friend.

"I bet they gave you a car or something expensive, huh!"

"Or shmoney~!"

They all laugh, staring at the emotionless Iris, "Iris…?"

"mm," she simply nods in a daze.

Her friends grunt away, hiding their snake-like grins and talking with their eyebrows, "what's up with her now?"

"I don't know, maybe one of her boyfriends?"

"Doubt it!"

"One of her episodes again."

"Let's just ignore her and have fun."

The three friends immediately nod, turning to Iris, "Hey, we're gonna go dance. Okay, Iris!"

She stares at their snake-like eyes and blankly nods as her eyes trail to the lights shining on the dance floor.

The three friends immediately left. It's safe to say they pretty much ditched Iris. The only one sitting at the table was Iris, alone, drinking but most importantly smoking the sweet cannabis that somehow smooths the world in her eyes.

The more she stared at the light, it fainted. Why does her bubble seem to have lost all its color?

Black and white, that's all she saw as she struggled to determine the lights' color. They used to be so pretty and annoying. Her tired eyes trailed from one side of the building to the other like a lost child trying to find something.

Iris has no clue as to what she is looking for, but what she does know is that time is running out, she's bored. She knows very well her friends left her because this is not the first time she's had an episode.

All she could think about was repeating the conversation with her dad over and over in her head. It only angered her the more she thought about it. So much that it caused her a headache, all she could mutter was, "why, why on my birthday…" she says solemnly, looking at the table.

The loud music in the background gradually diminished in her ears. All sound suddenly blocked out. The more she inhaled the cannabis, her eyes closed, taking her within the darkness of her useless life.

As she exhaled, the fragment of her heart chipped away like someone picking away at a glass. It's already cracked, but little by little, something within her dark slumber was chipping away at her aching heart.

The delicious sweet plant kept her emotions numb. She couldn't even feel her saliva at one point. Everything in life at that moment felt so dry yet calming.

The tingly feeling she used to feel in her mouth was no longer around. The whole world felt bitter, life, and instead of searching for answers. Iris chose to question and blame all of her miseries on her family.

But the one person she blamed the most, and her heart shook for a moment, was her son, Azaan. Whenever she saw or spoke to him, she'd often get reminded of the man who tricked and betrayed her naïve little heart.

It was a pain too horrendous to endure. She kept looking for a way to escape her reality and sink into a path of ignorance. The ones who continuously snapped her out of that trance were always her dad.

NO one else was ever there for Iris but her father. The more she turned his way. She realized her father is always admiring Belen.

Iris recalls how beautifully Belen shines in everything she does, but she could tell her father's difference of attention between the two. When Iris wanted to pursue the arts in college, her father demanded she study to become a nurse.

Iris couldn't go against his wishes and did her best to graduate as a nurse, but little did her father know that she is afraid of the sight of blood. That didn't last long, and she was fired.

Iris recalls overhearing Belen telling her father that she wishes to pursue music and the arts, contrary to herself, Edy casually agreed and supported her in everything.

"Why Belen, and not me…dad?"

She felt nauseous as her stomach churned, "I'm leaving," she says coldly, exiting the club. The farther she got from the club, the sound of music made its way to her ears, but Iris continued walking to her car without a care in the world.

The plant's effects faded with the cold air, her senses returning as goosebumps formed on her arms the faster she walked through the cold night air. The moon's light suddenly shone in her eyes as bright as the sunlight.

Iris quickly got in her car to hide from the moon, "so bright…" she says calmly, trying to recognize where she is, forgetting the fact that she is in her car.

Suddenly a loud ring resounds in the car. She turns in the direction of the light, murmuring, "that's right, I forgot my phone in here," she dumbly stretches to grab it.

She took a deep breath before checking her notifications only to see a bunch of missed calls from her mom, Azaan, and lastly, her boyfriend.

"Hmm?" an eyebrow rises, reading the text message from her current boyfriend.

'Babe, happy birthday. You aren't answering any of my phone calls. What's wrong? Call me. I'm worried.'

Reading these words awaken Iris from her lifeless dream, "Ooh! My birthday!" she suddenly cheers. Her eyes glisten with life as a smile automatically forms on her face, smiling like an idiot at nothing as she started driving to her boyfriend's home.

"Why was I at the club? I already had plans with him," Iris shakes her body, feeling a chill down her spine, "what the heck? Eh!" she nonchalantly shrugs, "whatever!"

***

"AZAAN!" Ernestina shouts from the kitchen to Azaan, who is playing on his computer in the living room, "yes, Grandma," he obediently answers.

"Today is your mom's birthday. Have you called her?"

"She won't answer, grandma," he says worriedly.

Ernestina silently grunts to prevent him from hearing and instead smiles sadly, "don't worry, she's probably working."

Azaan nods, looking back at his computer, "grandma."

"Yes? You called me Azaan?" she dries her hands from washing the dishes.

He pauses for a moment before seriously asking, "where is my dad?"

Ernestina's eyes widen in surprise, half choking on her saliva, cough cough! "Y-Your what? Azaan? I missed that," she tries to change to the subject, "are you hungry? I made rice with-"

"Where is my dad, grandma," Azaan asks seriously with sad, anxious eyes.

Ernestina couldn't help but inwardly gulp, feeling a cold sweat run down her forehead, "u-uh, mmm. A-Azaan, why? Are you curious?"

"A little," he notices Ernestina's shaken expression. "hmm, I was just asking for a project at school. I want to know my ethnicity," he lied to calm his grandma.

"Ooh!" she sighs, relieved, "well, he is still alive. But all I can say is he's mixed Filipino."

Hearing his grandma's honest revelation about his dad only brightened Azaan's sight as he clenched his fist in excitement, "thank you, grandma," he says shyly.

Ernestina merely smiles, "you're welcome, mijo." Though Azaan is not her son, Ernestina can't help but feel sympathy towards him because she knows how much Iris is absent from his life. It sucks how the world views them as siblings when in reality, Iris and Azaan are mother and son.

Ernestina couldn't comprehend why she agreed to it in the past with Edy. But the more years passed, she got used to calling Azaan her "son."

Though in reality, Azaan could never replace the only son kept deep in her heart.

She took one for the team, or at least that's what she thinks when treating Azaan like a son but spoils him rotten as her grandchild.