Chapter 12.2 - Earlier, did you want to hold my hand?

They stayed to watch the auction, but after getting the cauldron, there was only one other item which managed to catch Li XinWen's attention - one of the jian he had eyed before the auction began. The bid price of the jian went as high as six million before Xue Rui outbid every other bidder. Having spent sixteen million in total, Li XinWen decided that it was time for them to go. After all, the auction was already ending and they were now on the last item, which did not interest him even in the slightest.

"Let's go. It's already close to six... Dinner is at seven," Li XinWen said as he stood up. "Where do we get the items we purchased?"

"We can get it from the same room earlier. Here, let me support you," Xue Rui replied as he too stood up and then, almost naturally, snaked his arm around Li XinWen's waist and pulled him closer. Of course, Li XinWen noticed this and gently pushed Xue Rui's arm away.

"Rui-ge, I am already well enough to walk by myself, you don't have to worry about me 'falling'," Li XinWen said with a smile on his face, hinting at Xue Rui that he did not want to be 'supported' at all. Xue Rui wanted to say something but Li XinWen had already started walking out of the room. When Li XinWen reached the door, he turned around and saw that Xue Rui was still standing on the same spot. "Are you going to stay there?" Li XinWen asked.

Xue Rui who was feeling hurt that his subtle approach was rejected, suddenly snapped out of his dejectedness.

"Of course not," he answered Li XinWen, all the while he felt as if his heart was being gripped tighter. "Let's go and get your items now," he continued with a smile as he took the first step towards the exit.

'My heart hurts…' Xue Rui thought and with every step he took to close the distance between where he stood and the exit, he felt a stab at his heart. He fixed his eyes at Li XinWen as the latter turned to leave.

'His back is broad, he's perfect… but why is it like this? Is it so hard for you to give me a chance?' Xue Rui thought as he reached for Li XinWen's hand but stopped himself halfway, his index finger lightly brushing the side Li XinWen's palm causing the other to turn around.

"Are you alright Rui-ge? You look like you're about to cry. Is there something wrong?" Li XinWen asked a little worried. He noticed that Xue Rui's arm was extended in front of him. His eyes met Xue Rui's.

Li XinWen's question was like a splash of cold water, waking Xue Rui up to the present. He retracted his hand and clenched it inside his pants' front pocket.

"Ah, sorry Ah'Wen I suddenly thought of something. You go on ahead, I just need to use the toilet for a bit," he said as he turned and disappeared after turning the corner at the end of the hallway.

'What's gotten into him?' Li XinWen asked himself, raising an eyebrow at Xue Rui's leaving figure, feeling confused.

Meanwhile, Xue Rui quickly found the washroom and headed over to the faucet. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, then narrowed his eyes. He could see his own eyes had turned slightly red. "What's wrong with you Rui! Argh!" Xue Rui reprimanded himself. "Snap out of it!"

He turned the faucet and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror again and snorted at himself, saying, "You're pathetic Xue Rui. A lovelorn fool… haha… ha…" a helpless laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head at his own reflection. He wiped his face with a paper towel, straightened himself and made his way back.

'I shouldn't make Li XinWen wait or we'll be late for dinner,' he thought as he neared the corner to the hallway. As he turned the corner, he was met with a pleasant surprise. 'He waited for me?' he thought as his heart started to beat faster.

Li XinWen was leaning against the wall a little way from the entrance to their box. Hands in his pocket with one leg bent with his foot resting against the wall, as if contemplating, all the while looking like a model posing for a photoshoot. The sight made Xue Rui stop walking, his heart skipped a beat at the sight that was before him. He savored the image and cherished the idea that Li XinWen was waiting for him.

"Rui-ge, you're back. All good?" Li XinWen asked as he stood straight.

"Yes Ah'Wen," Xue Rui responded as he walked to catch up to Li XinWen who started walking ahead of him.

'Ah, XinWen… why do you do this to me? Don't make me misunderstand your small gestures.' he thought as he smiled to himself.

"Rui-ge… earlier, did you want to hold my hand?" Li XinWen asked out of the blue.

"Huh?" Xue Rui reacted in surprise as he looked up to find Li XinWen examining him intently. He couldn't describe Li XinWen's facial expression or the lack thereof.

"So, did you?" Li XinWen probed.

"Haha… XinWen are you teasing me?" Xue Rui asked with a smile but when he saw Li XinWen's unchanged expression, he quickly cleared his throat, feeling a bit shy. "Yes, actually I did," Xue Rui responded after recovering from his momentary fluster. "Will you allow me to hold your hand Ah'Wen?"

Li XinWen smiled and narrowed his eyes. He let out a small chuckle and extended his hand towards Xue Rui. This action made Xue Rui's eyes go wide and his heart beat faster, but Li XinWen's next sentence was like throwing a bucket of ice-cold water onto his warm heart. "Don't misunderstand Rui-ge… today is an exception. Consider this as me thanking you for the cauldron and the jian. Nothing more."

'So easy to read… I am not someone who is ungrateful. Since you spent so much today, I'll let you hold this hand...' Li XinWen thought as he waited for Xue Rui to take his hand.

Li XinWen's statement sent a wave of surprise which hit Xue Rui like a ton of bricks, crashing in an instant. The words were cold and void of any sort of feeling. This was not what Xue Rui had hoped for when Li XinWen extended his hand to him.

'I should be happy right? That he'd allow me to hold his hand? But why? Why does my heart hurt even more?' Xue Rui's thoughts were suffocating him causing his eyes to feel warm. Forcing himself to remain calm, he bit back his tears as he prepared himself to reply to Li XinWen.

"It's okay XinWen…" he said with a smile that was brighter than a 50,000-watt bulb, enough to turn anyone blind. "Shall we go and retrieve the items we purchased?" Xue Rui tried to divert the topic.

"Are you sure Rui-ge? I won't make another offer like this again."

"I'm sure XinWen…" Xue Rui responded, his voice about to crack.

Li XinWen retracted his hand but continued to stare at Xue Rui, gauging his reaction. 'I thought he'd take the offer. Well, I guess this is good too,' Li XinWen thought, but an uneasy feeling suddenly enveloped his heart. 'Was I too harsh?' he asked himself almost feeling guilty. 'Almost', being the operative word, because Li XinWen brushed it off the next moment.

Xue Rui and Li XinWen walked side by side in silence. A bright smile plastered on Xue Rui's face, his cheeks and his heart aching.