Chapter 30

He smiled at her and pinched her cheek. "Silly. How could I when you made me feel again? Magagalit na ako sa buong mundo pero hindi sa iyo."

"Romanov." She put her arms around his neck and felt her eyes whelm with tears. Parang dam na bumigay ang lahat ng nararamdaman niya. "Akala ko galit ka sa akin. You didn't bother to call. You didn't bother to answer my calls. Basta ka na lang umalis nang walang anumang sinasabi. Gusto kong mag-sorry. Sasabihin ko sana sa iyo na di kita dapat minadali. Sana inintindi pa kita. Gusto ko lang naman na bumalik ka sa pagiging Romanov nang di ka pa pumupunta sa riding club. Where you face the world with a smile. I just want you out of that dark world. At ayoko nang bumalik ka pa doon."

"I will never go back to that dark world, Illyze. Tapos na rin ang lahat ng bangungot ko." Kinabig nito ang ulo niya at ihinilig sa dibdib nito. "It's over now. It's over so stop crying."

"Saan ka ba nanggaling? Anong nangyari sa iyo?"

"Kailangan ko lang harapin ang lahat ng kinatatakutan ko. Hinarap ko si Jewel. Finally, I get the courage to talk to her. Nang umalis ako dito sa riding club, hinanap ko agad siya."

"A-Anong pinag-usapan ninyo?"

Kumuha ito ng panyo at pinunasan ang pisngi niya. "She asked for my forgiveness. She apologized for everything she did."

"Really?" di makapaniwala niyang usal.

His face looked calmer now. "Hindi ko siya mapatawad noon. Pakiramdam ko kasi hindi pagmamahal ko ang ni-reject niya kundi ang buong pagkatao ko. I thought I deserve to be loved. Pero hindi ako ang pinili niya kundi ibang tao na sa palagay ko di karapat-dapat para sa kanya. Samantalang kaya ko naman siyang alagaan. Kung mahal siguro niya ako, kaya kong tanggapin kahit ang nakaraan niya.But she didn't."

"So you hated your self in the process."

Ikinulong nito ang mukha niya sa palad nito. "I thought I wasn't good enough to be loved by anybody. Dahil ang mismong taong pinagkatiwalaan ko at minahal, hindi ako kayang mahalin. Until you came and pulled me out of my dark world. Thanks for setting me free with your love. I love you, Illyze Guzman."

He possessed her lips and she surrendered with total abandon. It was fierce and soft. The mix of emotion was overwhelming. Two days without him seemed like forever. Pero mas mahaba ang panahong hinanap niya ito at hinintay na marinig niyang mahal siya nito. And now, he was kissing her as if he was trying to drown her with his love.

"Will you still have me?"

Natawa siya sa tanong nito. "How can I say no? I am already under your spell. Sabagay, noong unang beses pa lang gusto na talaga kita. Hay! Kahit nuknukan ka pa ng suplado, nakasunod na ang mata ko sa iyo."

"I thought you were just like the other girls in this club. Na gusto mo akong guluhin. Yes, ginulo mo nga ako. Dapat itinataboy kita pero hindi ko naman kayang gawin. I want to see you smile even if I am mad. Parang natutunaw ang lahat ng galit ko. At first I hate you for that. You were so persistent."

"Kahit kaladkarin mo pa ako palabas ng riding club, babalik pa rin ako at kukulitin kita nang kukulitin. Makita lang kita noon, masaya na ako kahit na tarayan mo pa ako. And now that you are smiling, I really feel great."

"I was so scared. Scared that you'll reject me as well. Kaya mas gusto ko na lang mang-reject ng ibang tao. But you are always there for me, right?"

"You've been so hard on your self. I don't think it is your fault. I think it is Jewel who has a problem. Kung talagang nirerespeto at mahal ka niya bilang kaibigan, hindi niya gagawin iyon."

"Apparently, she really has a great problem. Hindi si Jewel ang totoong Jewel na nakilala ko. She had been living in a lie all this time."

"Dahil nagpanggap siyang pamangkin siya ng producer ninyo?"

"It is one of the issues. It all started when she was seventeen. Ipinasok siyang prostitute ng stepmom niya sa isang prostitution den. Our producer was her first client. Nagustuhan siya dahil matalino siya. Kaysa patuloy na maging prostitute, naging mistress na lang siya. She tried to have to normal life. Nakapag-aral siya at nagkaroon ng disenteng buhay. Matagal na siyang pinapakawalan ng producer namin. It was high time that she had a more decent life. May pera na siya at may disenteng trabaho. Hindi na niya kailangang maging mistress pa. Ayaw niya. So when I proposed, she accepted it. Just to spite Mr. Lorenzo. She thought Mr. Lorenzo would disapprove our engagement. Natuwa pa ito para sa amin."

"And why did she do that to you? You were friends!"

"Dahil magkaibigan kami, akala niya maiintindihan ko siya. Pero bago ko pa siya intindihin, nasaktan na niya ako."