The Right Way to Offer a Sacrifice to the River G.o.d – Chapter 3 – His Grandfather,  Go Die From Gluttony

17

Liu Qi was busying himself in the kitchen, watching three pots at the same time. Inside was both busy and warm, causing him to sweating like no tomorrow.

In the meantime, Bai Chuan was acting like the lackey he was and chasing Liu Qi around as he fanned him using a large fan, using a handkerchief to wipe his sweat, and occasionally gave gasps of admiration, "It's been hard on Xiao Qi, Xiao Qi is so capable."

Liu Qi crooned under the praise, "It's good that you know."

Holding onto his stomach, Bai Chuan whined, "Fanning is so tiring, I fanned till I got hungry."

Liu Qi rolled his eyes at Bai Chuan's antics and asked, "What do you still want to eat? Want me to add in another dish of fried prawns?"

Eyes shining brightly in eagerness, Bai Chuan agreed, "Okay!"

The foodie acknowledged the command cheerfully and with a shake of his sleeves, a heap of seafood that could be found in the river came out from his sleeves, making pitter patter sounds when they landed on the floor as they were still alive and jumping around energetically.

Frantically, Liu Qi called out for him to stop and used a small basin to pick out the prawns. The remaining fish and crabs were stored in a bamboo basket, keeping it for their next meal.

The delighted Bai Chuan praised again, "Wifey really knows how to live life."

Liu Qi: …

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18

On the morning of a particular day, Bai Chuan brought out a recipe book. Flipping to the page showing Buddha Jumps Over The Wall, relentlessly bugging Liu Qi and saying he wanted to eat it.

Liu Qi found it funny to watch him. He thought that if this river G.o.d had a tail, then it would long be wagging behind him by now. Thus, he gave in, "I just have to make it for you right? However, I haven't made this dish before. If it tastes bad, don't blame me."

Bai Chuan was naturally ecstatic and hugged Liu Qi to share his happiness. Feeling him rubbing here and there, Liu Qi slapped the dishonest hand away with a 'pa' and asked with red face, "You want a beating?"

Bai Chuan shook his head in quick succession. "No no."

After he spoke, he read the recipe book and threw out several kinds of fish, crabs, prawns etc accordingly. Liu Qi, in the meantime, searched high and low and finally found an unused earthenware jar used to store alcohol, preparing it so he could use it as a boiling pot.

When night fell, the Buddha Jumps Over The Wall that had been boiling for the whole day released a mellow, rich, yet heavy fragrance. Bai Chuan, in high spirits, antic.i.p.atorily circled the pot. Rubbing his hands together, he remarked, "It smells really good ah."

On the other hand, Liu Qi's face was gloomy. After he served a few other dishes onto the table, he said a word in indifference, "Eat."

The foodie pointed at the jar and asked, "What about this?"

Liu Qi's expression was cold, his reply stunted, "Still needs to stew."

Receiving a weird feeling from Liu Qi, Bai Chuan stared at him for a while before asking, "Xiao Qi doesn't look too happy today."

Liu Qi shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Really nothing?"

"En."

And so, Bai Chuan happily went back to gorge himself with food.

Glaring at him, Liu Qi was both angered and humoured, yet Bai Chuan did not detect it: …

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19

Apparently, when Liu Qi went to the market to do some grocery shopping that day, he overheard that the matter of the girl that he had saved ran away was found out. The news had already spread across the whole village, and there were rumors that someone had seen her in town.

No one knew that it was he who had saved the girl. The whole village was afraid that with the girl running away without permission, the River G.o.d would get angry and flood the whole village. Thus, they once again drew straws to pick out another girl.

Thinking back to the message he had heard that morning, the food in his mouth became tasteless. Liu Qi's heart was in a mess, and he finally couldn't bear with it anymore and tried to test Bai Chuan, "Did you know the village picked out another bride for you again?"

The innocent Bai Chuan was immersed in eating and didn't bother thinking too much about the question, and spoke without thinking, "Really? Is she pretty?" (Ono BC u idiot)

Liu Qi was stumped. Feeling upset, he laughed coldly, "Go take a look yourself, they're sending her to the river G.o.d's temple tonight."

Bai Chuan replied foolishly, "Okay."

Liu Qi slammed the table in rage, and s.n.a.t.c.hed away Bai Chuan's chopsticks in an instant. "If you want to go then quickly go!" he roared.

Bai Chuan looked at his pair of chopsticks helplessly and asked, "What are you so anxious for? At least finish eating first before going."

Without another word, Liu Qi carried Bai Chuan over his shoulders, stepped out of his house and threw him onto the ground. Clapping his hands against each other, he spoke coldly, "Go look. I won't send you off."

Bai Chuan, who was still clueless as to what was happening, watched as Liu Qi closed the door of the yard. He picked himself up and brushed off the dirt on his b.u.t.t, before walking to the door and carefully knocked, "Xiao Qi, Xiao Qi, open the door."

"Get lost, go look at your bride!"

Bai Chuan gave a little 'hehe' and asked, "Are you uh… Jealous?"

Liu Qi was so angry that his molars itched, simply wanting to drag Bai Chuan in by the collar and brutally beat him up. "Jealous of you? I'd rather!" (the squares were in the raws)

Bai Chuan was extremely depressed. "This party's only thought just now was to eat so I anyhow spoke. I don't want other brides, only want you."

Liu Qi was feeling extremely hateful towards Bai Chuan for not meeting his expectations. "Eat eat eat, you only know how to eat! Stand outside there for me and reflect for a shichen before coming back in!" (A shichen is used to tell time in the past, equates to two hours present time)

Bai Chuan mopily responded with a grunt. He squatted by the wall looking extremely pitiful, stretching out his neck to smell the scent of food wafting out from within the house. After waiting for a while, he became worried so he shouted out a sentence, "Only a shichen, cannot be longer than that ah! I'll wait right here!"

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20

Afterwards, Liu Qi went back into his house and waited for a while. Facing a table of dishes, he became restless, thinking that it would still be better if he let Bai Chuan back in. That fool got driven away after eating only halfway, it would be strange if he did not feel it was difficult to bear. Thus, he opened his yard's gates again, but there was no one outside.

"Bai Chuan! Bai Chuan?" Liu Qi shouted.

There was no response.

Staring at the empty road in front of his house, Liu Qi fell into a daze. Silently closing the door, he returned back into his house, and threw away all the remaining food on the table. Bundling his clothes up, he fell across his bed. One moment he rolled to the left, the next moment rolling towards the right. Only after he extended his pair of legs out and stomped for a good while, did he start cursing as if to relieve his anger, "d.a.m.n, in the future, there won't be anyone fighting for the bed with Laozi anymore. How satisfying."

A few more moments pa.s.sed, and Liu Qi entered the kitchen once again. Lifting the cover of the pot of still stewing Buddha Jumps Over The Wall, he used layers of folded cloths and was just about to throw it away too, but he hesitated before putting it back down again. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks to pick a small piece, tasted it, before speaking to himself, "So delicious. Even I think it tastes good… Nn, let you go look at your new bride. You won't be able to eat it anymore now. His grandfather. Let him die of gluttony…"

While he spoke, a teardrop fell into the pot, landing on the golden yellow and rich gravy, letting out a soft 'di-da' sound. (;;;)