Chapter 2.

"Darling, what was that noise?"

"It seems father in law passed out from being overwhelmed by his joy. He said he was so moved that his lovely daughter was getting married to such a caring husband that when he stood up too quickly he became slightly anemic and passed out."

"What? Really? No way. He accepted it so easily? Wait. Anemic? A war god..."

Good job me! Safe! I definitely do not bully smelly old men!

The door slid open and my goddess wife descended upon the world once again. This time she'd put her veil back on again so I thankfully retained some semblance of my composure. Whenever I saw her face directly I always lost sense of reality. Getting accustomed to my little wifey really might take quite a bit of time.

"He really did... collapse? From anemia… is he okay? Did he hit his head?"

"Damn it my daughter! How could you believe this vermins lies when you see your father sprawled out on the ground like this!? Why are you also questioning if I hit my head? Isn't it clearly this brat's fault?"

Ah. He woke up. That was quick.

He really looked like he wanted to cry though.

My wife exclaimed with widened eyes, "You're the mightiest god in existence, the war god, Sen Kami, known for his unparalleled might. He's just a mortal, how could he possibly knock you out?"

"My daughter, you must not be deceived by flowery words! His words are like thorns that can effortlessly defeat the mightiest of warriors. Every sound he utters is like a venomous needle aimed right for your heart! He can rouse the inner demons of even the mightiest of gods."

"Please reconsider my naive daughter. He is just a lowly viper laying in wait to plunge his toxic fangs into your neck to corrupt you like the vile thing he is. He will shower you with flattery to get your guard down before he moves in and pounces on you. He will only poison and corrupt the precious flower you are. Please reconsider."

"What? Who are you talking about here? All I asked for was assistance with finding a simple present for my little wife? Father in law, how can you besmirch my name as such? Is it not you who is dirtying others names? Are you not the one trampling upon my name, smearing it in mud and dragging it through the dirt! I am a righteous individual with no strikes against his name. I stand upright against injustice and fight against the oppressors. How can you sully my reputation like so, my great father in law? Your daughter's husband could never be such a person! Your reputation would also go down the drain if you had such a wretched son in law. Dirtying my name is merely besmirching your own!"

The old man stared at me in silence with a strange look on his face. He was unable to find a single word to retort.

He squinted his eyes as he grumbled out under his breath "damn this filthy little wordy rat."

When he understood any attack on me only aggravated himself further, father in law changed his approach. "My precious daughter Megami, why would you even agree to this little ant's proposal?"

"He was the first person since I was born that stood face to face against you as a mere mortal. In the presence of a mighty war god, he had the nerve to even propose to me. A mortal wig little strength boldly ignored a god without the slightest fear, isn't that rather attractive? He also doesn't cower back in my presence like the other men I've met. It's also pretty hard for me to find a man due to my constitution, father. I have a feeling he would be fine with it though. It's just a gut feeling though."

Beneath the semi transparent veil, vaguely visible was the outline of a gentle smile that gradually bloomed on her face. With each word that left her mouth, albeit partially obstructed, that smile became more and more pronounced beneath her veil. For the first time in my life, I'd met a mortal enemy. I cursed that veil's nine generations for obstructing such a heavenly sight. That veil should be smitten down by the heavens for blocking off such wondrous scenery from this world.

When I imagined what the face under that veil looked like right now my heart pounded like a train chugging along a track. I was slightly fearful at the thought of a heart attack. Luckily for me, I was dead right now so that was impossible. Now that I thought about it, what exactly was it that pounded to begin with? I know it felt like my heart always pounded madly whenever I saw her, but I had no body right now. I placed my hand over my wrist and sure enough there was no sensation.

If that was the case, what exactly was it that pounded like a heart? My soul maybe? Why did my soul pound like that though? Well it's not like I ever experienced something like this before so I had no reference. Now wasn't really the time for these questions though. I had to seal the deal first.

Father in law looked really defeated. His appearance told a lot. With my rich wealth of experience, it was obvious he wanted to find a hole and crawl into it so he could drown himself in his sorrow.

I diverted my attention away from him when I realized my goddess wife's eyes were locked onto me. She never looked away, not even for a second. It felt like she completely saw through me. Any lie I spoke was detectable in her eyes, that was what her eyes told me.

"Darling husband, is it true you wanted to use your request to find a present for me? You know, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I accidentally caused your death and felt horrible to the point I wanted to die. The only reason you are here now is because I begged my father with the threat of suicide that we must compensate you appropriately. Gods killing mortals for no reason whether intentional or unintentional is a heavy sin in this world."

The old man sat down in a crouched position in the corner with his head sunk between his legs. With his arms wrapped around his knees he grumbled out a few rude inaudible lines under his breath. "Damn it all! My daughter is too naive and pure. With her innocent nature she really would do it too. All for some random stupid plebeian like you that she stumbled upon on the street. She only descended into a mortal world for a short trip to help me with an errand. If she saw a weak puppy on the road, of course she would pick it up and take it home to take care of it. Stinky brat, you are just a weak little puppy to her. Hurry up and face a disaster and go die already."

Yeah, I really wondered why I still heard his words despite how they were supposedly inaudible.

Since my little wife still awaited my answer, I ignored the peanut gallery's cheap jabs. I straightened my back before I declared to my wife with conviction in my voice. I responded in a matter of fact manner that there could be no other possible answer. "Naturally the only thing I could ever desire in this world is for my wife's happiness. If I can bring my wife a smile to her face, then even if I face a sea of troubles, I can stand firmly against them no matter how many obstacles may come my way."

Suddenly the air in the room turned spine chillingly cold. My wife asked in a solemn emotionless voice "did you really think I would believe such flowery words darling?"

"Of course." I replied without the slightest hesitation. It was like I felt not a single bit of the terrifyingly cold aura my wife gave off.

The atmosphere around my little wife turned flowery immediately. She closed her eyes and said, "Of course I will naturally believe my husband's words."

"Tch. Damn brat. Go explode stupid riajuu. Peh Peh."

The two of us ignored the peanut gallery in the background and entered our own little world. Once again, I cursed her veil's entire family. The fact that I was unable to directly view her beaming smile beneath it was beyond a doubt a crime against humanity.

"Husband, we may call each other husband and wife, but we have not even kissed yet. Isn't that a custom in your world, to kiss the bride after exchanging vows? You just said, marry me and I went along and agreed, but we never even kissed after that. Isn't something strange about it?"

Sweat broke out on her father's forehead as he interjected immediately. "WHAT? Darling daughter, I think you're mistaken, are you not? I don't recall there being such a custom. I think something is wrong with your memory. You questioned if I hit my head, but are you sure you didn't hit your head on a rip in space when you descended to the mortal realm?"

"That's right, in fact how can you be considered married, he hasn't even put a ring…"

My eyes flashed the moment he said ring. I scooted over to father in law's side again then whispered in his ear. "I've decided on the betrothal gift I want. Give me the strongest ring you have right now, old ma- father in law." I immediately stopped and corrected my form of address. We only became family just now so small slips in how I addressed him occasionally slipped in. I didn't want to sound like I'd mugged my father in law of his valuables in front of my precious little wife after all.

Despair clouded father in law's vision. He weakly shook his head left and right. I returned his horizontal shake of his head with a serious vertical nod up and down of my own. We went back and forth like this for a while until he gritted his teeth and waved his hand with a grumble.

"You smelly little brat, mark my words I'll definitely remember this. Haaaah. Arguing any further with you gives me too much of a headache. Whatever... I originally planned to give this to my daughter if I ever passed away anyways. It's better if it ends up in her hands, rather than in a stupid unappreciative brat's hands like yours. I'm certain it's a valuable treasure, but I still don't know the extent of it's full capabilities. It is a precious ring of unknown origins that can save one's life in a perilous situation. It can deploy a barrier for six hours that not even I can break. Since it is my daughter's life, I always had the intention to give her a life saving artifact that guaranteed her safety no matter who had designs for her."

"Here, stupid mortal brat. With this I have fulfilled your request. No take backs."

The old man tossed the ring he pulled out from a void in space towards me. It was a ring white on it's exterior, but black on the interior. It had mysterious symbols entwined together that looked like they would never separate. What the symbols meant, I had no idea. Perhaps I'd never know, but overall it looked rather appealing to the eye. It had a strange sort of mysterious air about it. I was pretty satisfied with it and I really hoped that my wife took a fancy to it as well.

I approached my wife again and grabbed onto her unblemished left hand. I felt an almost unnoticeable tremble from her hand when my left hand gently raised her index and middle finger from below. I placed my thumb lightly on top of her dainty little finger. With my right hand I positioned the ring and slid it onto her ring finger. When I looked up and stared into her eyes I froze in place. Once the ring was secured to her finger I instinctively raised my right hand up. I moved that sinister veil to the side.

On the face revealed below it, I noticed a tear had stealthily rolled down her cheek without my notice. I wanted to move my hand and wipe it away, but when I saw her face directly like this… you know the drill. I seriously wondered when I would get used to this?

Am I really just that stupid that I can somehow forget how to breathe at a moments notice?

When she noticed my plight, my wife giggled with a charming smile on her face. She said, "I know I'm pretty my husband, but we do have to kiss you know. If you were not dead right now, perhaps you would die several times over just from a kiss."

She let out a small sigh and said, "I've already lived for so long, yet I was actually happy to the point that a tear crept out unknowingly. Loneliness is something even gods and goddesses cannot escape. To finally have someone by my side, I didn't think I'd be that happy about it."

"Husband, make sure to treasure me, okay?"

I gave a slight nod of my head. In my dumbfoundedness, I stared in blank stupor into her soul stealing eyes.

Am I a moron? I can't be like this everytime I look at her. Naturally as the man, I have to take the lead here. I forcefully bit down on my tongue. I shut my eyes closed and finally regained my senses. I leaned forward slightly, but before I realized it, my little wife grabbed my collar and pulled me forward faster than I'd moved towards her. Really, just who'd taken the lead here?

"Go explode already. Just stay dazed everytime you look at her so you can never do a damned thing. Just be a virgin for the rest of your life you dumb monkey." More curses reigned down from the peanut gallery in the background.

Our lips were locked together and my eyes were closed, however I somehow kept breathing through my nose for a change. A strange warmth spread throughout my entire body as we melted into one another. She wrapped her arms around my head while I placed my arms around her dainty little waist. We both pulled our bodies closer together. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes felt like hours. It felt like we remained like that for an eternity as two slippery tongues mangled together. Our breaths became ragged. I felt her body heat up slightly. What should have been a simple kiss turned into a passionate make out session where we lost sense of both time and our surroundings.

"Ehem."

It was at this point an awkward cough rang out in the background which finally brought us to our senses.

We slightly parted lips when my wife turned her dreamy look away from me towards her father and requested, "Father, do you mind? Could you maybe notice the mood and take your leave please?"

Father in law wore a face that indicated he heavily doubted what his ears had heard and what his eyes had seen. "Y-y-y-y-you unfilial daughter! Where did my innocent naive little daughter go? You vile beast, what have you done to her? This cannot be my daughter who used to look up at me and ask in an innocent voice all the simple little questions that children dreamed of finding out. Where did my daughter who was only one billion years old that innocently asked me about the story of Tinderella and the three sluts go? Return that child to me!"

It seemed he'd entered a nervous breakdown state. He crouched down on the ground and rocked back and forth like a traumatized mental patient.

A sigh escaped from my wife's lovely lips. She looked back at me with a slightly troubled look on her face. She raised a hand and pressed her index finger on my lips before she whispered to me lovingly with a dreamy look in her eyes. "It seems the third wheel won't leave. We'll just have to save the rest for later my dearest husband."

Unfortunately, it seemed she was not quiet enough though. The old man in the background broke down into tears when he heard his daughter's merciless words. She was the definition of ruthless despite her fairy-like appearance. He cried in an ugly fashion while he repeated to himself several times, "where has my precious daughter gone?"

Once again, unbeknownst to me at the time, the world would have been shocked if they'd seen this pitiful sight. I was definitely the first person in history to ever make the mightiest god in existence burst into tears and lose his sanity.

… I think I might be pretty strong.