DICK HOLE

Kevin's had a long day at work. It's spring again, his landscape business: firing on all cylinders. He thinks to himself, 'Making money, hand-over-fist. I'm the man.'

Kevin expects to clear $250,000 profit this year, after taxes. He looks upon his small-fleet of trucks in his large horseshoe driveway, all shamelessly emblazoned with his last name: Tucker Landscaping -- in an amateurish Microsoft Word font on the side. Commercial insurance is a bitch, especially in Massachusetts; drivers here are fucking crazy.

Kevin considers himself a wizard, although no-one, outside his wife Laura, knows about his magick habit. Laura, Kevin's wife, sees magick as a harmless vice; she doesn't believe in all that mumbo jumbo. She thinks to herself, 'So my husband draws a few-pentagrams? Utters a few incantations? Writes in a journal, his so called grimoire? So what? At least Kevin's not a drunk like my sister's worthless husband. We live in a big house, I drive a Lexus SUV; our kids have all they need --

The screen-door slams-shut interrupting Laura's thoughts. Laura yells out into space, "Kevin!?"

Kevin replies as if annoyed from across the house, "Ya?"

Laura: "Just making sure it was you!"

Kevin, entering the kitchen silently, sneaks behind her, gently whispers in her ear, "Why are you shouting?"

Laura practically shits-herself. "Fuck! I hate-it when you do that!"

Kevin laughs, a deep exaggerated belly-laugh. "Sorry."

"Yes you're fucking sorry; sorry ass! But you're not apologizing. If you were truly sorry,

you wouldn't keep doing shit like that!"

Kevin laughs, nervously this-time. "You're right; I'm a dick-hole."

Laura punches him in the playfully, but perhaps a little too hard, "You are a dick-hole."

Kevin smiles, thinks, She still loves me.