Am I Cheating? (4)

I was sitting in an empty class, texting my aunt, when Mia and Senior Dino came rushing with a panic look on their face.

"What's wrong?" I asked them, feeling confused.

"Have you heard it?" Mia asked, but she sounded careful with her tone.

I frowned. "About what?"

Senior Dino sighed and took an invitation from his bag then put it in front of me. It was a wedding invitation. The date was today. What surprised me was the name that was written in the invitation.

I looked at Senior Dino and Mia. Both of them had a look of pity mixing with anger in their eyes.

"Is it..." I choked on my words.

"Yes. We've confirmed it. Some of our friends went to the wedding this morning. It seems like they all tried hard to hide it from you. They even hid it from me! Damn those so-called brothers!" Senior Dino balled his fist as he cursed through his gritting teeth.

I took a sharp breath. Was it real? I thought this kind of scenario only happened in drama. Who would have thought it would happen to me? If I had known earlier that he was going to get married, I would have agreed to break up with him!

What the heck?!

I picked up my phone and punched on his number. As expected, my call went to his voicemail. My mind went blank. All I could hear was the repeated voice of the woman in my phone telling me that I couldn't reach the number I was calling.

I didn't even know what I was thinking.

I blinked and blinked my eyes repeatedly. I could hear voices around me but I couldn't catch what they were talking about. Mia was looking at me full of concern and Senior Dino was busy tapping on his phone furiously but his mouth never stopped moving, as if he was cursing someone.

"JANE!!" Mia shook my body, successfully brought me back to my sense.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm asking you, are you okay?" She repeated her question.

Ah, that's right. I asked myself the same question.

Am I okay?

I was shocked, yes. I felt pain, yes. But, it was not like what I thought I would feel. I felt betrayed and upset. But, strangely, I could feel there was a part of me inside that felt relief after realizing Senior Rizal was not with me anymore.

But, the anger still overwhelmed me.

"I'm a bit...lost." I told her.

"Damn! None of them is picking up my call!" Senior Dino was still furious. "This is the last time. If this bastard isn't picking up, that's it! I'm heading over now!" He said furiously as he made his last call.

"Senior Dino is calling all of his friends who went to the wedding. It seems like all of them are still there." Mia rubbed my back.

I nodded. He might want to talk to Senior Rizal, too.

"About time! Damn it, Mario! Why are you guys turning off your phones?!" Senior Dino snapped as soon as his call went through.

I couldn't hear clearly what Senior Mario said, but I could hear the helplessness in his voice as he tried to talk to the fuming Senior Dino.

"Where is that coward now?!" Senior Dino asked through his gritted teeth. He stood up and paced around the room while scolding Senior Mario who didn't seem to be willing to hand the phone over to Senior Rizal.

"Great! Just great!" Senior Dino was closed to have a breakdown. He was ready to throw his phone when his eyes met mine. The rage in his eyes changed with helplessness and sorry.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't convince him to talk to you." He apologized weakly.

"That's okay. Thank you, Senior."

Even though I said so, it seemed like these two people did not believe in my words. They accompanied me, even when I returned to my dorm, and left me after I promised them that I would be okay, that I was not going to do something stupid -I bet I would not have that kind of thought, ever.

After sending the couple off, I went to my room. Stopping in front of my door, suddenly I felt hesitant for the first time. There was a part of myself told me that I should have just dumped Senior Rizal first because I had already had Tom. Another part of me said that it was my karma for betraying Senior Rizal and going out with a ghost. But, seriously, who would dump a human for a ghost?

Now it had reached to this extent, who could I blame?

I sighed. The anger of being betrayed by Senior Rizal came again and the sadness was messing up with my head again. Instead of going in, I ended up crouching in front of my door with my head hanging low between my gripping hands.

I took a deep breath repeatedly in steady rhythm; not too fast nor too slow.

"Do you mind to tell me what happened to you?"

I heard Tom's voice talking to me. "I am sorry, give me a minute." I replied, but not looking at him.

He did give me some minutes to calm myself down. After I calmed myself, I pushed myself to stand up, my eyes met his as he was looking at me with questioning look in his eyes. Seeing him unexpectedly made me feel a lot calmer.

"Feeling better now?" He smiled at me.

I nodded. Yeah, absolutely better. I felt so much better now that I saw him smiling at me, which was strange for my own feeling. My boyfriend had just dumped me and got married to another woman without telling me beforehand, I felt so angry for being hidden in the dark, and now after I saw my ghost boyfriend I felt so much calmer, as if Senior Rizal getting married did not matter to me.

And that's where it was strange!

I shouldn't have felt that way! No matter how much I liked Tom, I shouldn't have picked him over Senior Rizal who was a real human. But, I obviously underestimated my own feelings for Tom. The fact that only by seeing him could calm myself was a big proof that I liked him more than I liked Senior Rizal. And, I also came with a conclusion to myself.

I cheated on Senior Rizal. I was the one who started cheating, thus I didn't have any rights to get angry over his marriage with another woman. I should have thought about it long before, but I guessed I was just too ignorant to realize this kind of things.