Stone(d) cold pro

Kate- A normal housing unit would have noticed me freaking out. Lights would turn on, my compandroid would hug me and tell me everything's alright. Then we would fuck rough so I can forget... If this was a normal U. Buuuut nope, I had to choose the OH! safe life of a fucking bounty hunter.

Too many people want to fuck with me now and not in a fun way. Smart appliances are a good way to do just that, so now I have to flip switches manually like a primitive ass monkey from the Ice Age!

Cere- Well, at least you got me.

Kate- Yes... I had to drop all that sweet smart stuff to get the generic stupid brain implant. You're like a cheap hoe bot, everyone has you.

Cere- There is a good reason for that...

Kate- Yeah yeah I know, I know, making non-generic stuff for brain purpose cost way too much to proof against hackers. They couldn't cut corners on that one, otherwise, everyone would be a fun-doll for some psycho.

*sigh* "If at least I could get some AR deco...*

Cere- Well, you could get some analog Art-Deco inspired pieces.

Kate- Ah, Ah, Ah... really funny, pun once more and I'll shoot us both!

Cere- Maybe a bit of paint then?

Kate- Can't leave anything behind about what you like... freaky data miners, they always get you somehow... How many times have we done this skit about decoration?

Cere- This month alone?

Kate- ... Sure.

Cere- Eleven... are you sure you're OK?

Kate- Thank Cere, you always know stupid crap bore me down calm when I go bonkers.

Cere- Always...

Kate- Would be great to make a killing. Get enough to buy a new legal ID, retire, do something else. Right, might as well dream of winning Loto Sun and charge for light to the whole System.

Cere- I have no information about this Loto Sun, are you sure it is accurate, oh, sarcasm associated brain waves, nevermind.

Kate- Sarcasm associated algorithms detected, ignored. Still, feel like crap. Alright, gotta get up then to the stinking sink. C'mon, rise from the bed... too hard... a toe maybe? Yeah, if the toe gets cold on the ground the rest should follow at some point... right?

*Eugghh* "Too hard... Cere, how long would be the brain add time for the autopilot full-body app tester and how long would it last?"

Cere- You do know you don't have the necessary hardware in you right? You said it was for safet...

Kate- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know... Just lazy this morning.

Cere- Procrastination is a symptom of multiple mental illnesses, would you like to download Dr. Wat...

Kate- Shut it!

Cere- ...son for a trial?

Kate- NO!

Cere- should I remove the subject from your interests to avoid future infomercials on the subject?

Kate- *sigh* "no... just... *sigh* leave as is."

...

*Ugh*... bedsore... alright, 'm up. It only took an extra hour or so but I'm up. Rest should come easy right? The hardest step is always the first! Positive ideas...

"Mirror, mirror, who's the fugliest of them all? Me, I guess.

Cere- You're not THAT bad...

Kate- "THAT BAD? Are you implying I AM ugly? Should I pull you out like a fucking vine?

Cere- Well when you put it like that... yes, on both counts. Should I get you a DNA correction appointment in the meantime, you know, while you do barbaric surgery on yourself?

Kate- "No, but put a new dye job on the list for when I get enough corners."

Cere- Where should I put it on the list?

Kate- "Dead last. Worst case I'll clip it short under the colour."

Yuck, can see the brown regrowth under the teal, stupid Asian ancestry, why couldn't I get my father's blond instead? On the other hand, I got his boorish jaw teaming up nicely with my broken nose.

Cere- You are due for your ClareX medication.

Kate- "Yeah... can't do without learning enhancers in this line of job, do we? Damn, just two remaining. Can't work if I start doing the vibrator dance. Hate withdrawal."

Cere- I doubt anyone doesn't.

Kate- "Put it second on the shopping list after the rent."

Cere- Confirmed.

Kate- "I'm really running out of everything don't I?"

Alright, gather spit, swallow the sucker. Good! Now, time for some after-action spring cleaning. Locker, hand vein pattern recognition... open. Good ol' Black Industries Peace Enforcer mark 10... BIPE10, the weapon of choice to punch meal tickets since 2103. What do I need again? Right, ammo box, cleaning kit, diagnostic tools, oil... damn getting short on that too, I hope there're still fumes in the can.

Freaky fucks in a nail basket, should have done all of this when I came back yesterday... time for the penalty game.

Cere- I guess you want the usual Pavlovian negative conditioning?

Kate- ... Yes, napalm this time, four seconds.

Cere- You know this is insane right? Using these bootleg programs will make your PTSD worst you know?

Kate- Keeps me alive when I get shot, so shut up!

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! FUCKING HURT!!! SHIT! Can't breath... hic, hic, hic!!!"

Cere- Careful, you risk auto-mutilation, stop scratching your arm, the napalm is in your head. Like the pain, this is just an illusion. Pain is just like a .txt to warn you some stuff is going on, get past the alarms and see it for what it is: information. Take control back.

Kate- Damn, that one was rough... 'm all sweaty now I'll need a wipe or I'll drown.

Cere- I guess napalm is as good as orange juice to wake you up.

Kate- A what now?

Cere- A fruit from the old world, want to try it in VR? I could find a sample.

Kate- Natural food? Yuck! no thanks. For the record, I prefer waking up another way. Sadly that's the best way to get used to pain. Otherwise, gunshots would incap' me.

"K, 'nough kid games, time to clean this freaking mess."

Eject mag, remove bullets, check the loading spring. Looks good, the action's smooth. Reload, put on the side. Now disassemble the main piece, check springs and action, clean, check for wear and tear, oil, reassemble. Test the action... smooth like a baby, reload the mag, put the clip back in. Done.

Electronic is next, diagnostic tool... login for a good look. Antivirus, update... Never know when an asshole plugs you with a rootkit buttplug to dilate your backdoor and rape your hardware during the action. No choice but to pay a virtual gyneco for your fire dick, otherwise you never know when you'll get a rash, shoot blank or cumshot yourself into a hot mess.

Alright, the final touch, calibrate the cam to get perfect framing on your action cam. You want the perfect fuckfaces pics for the money shots.

Doc did his job... no explosive anal beads were left behind... Everything was in tip-top shape yesterday, nothing required a condom. I had doubt yesterday... was hoping... guilt, but no, that was all me that stray shot... I need a hit.

Cere- You OK?

Kate- ... Always...

"Time to get dressed."

Skintight mag-suit, generic T-shirt, grey cargo pants, photojournalist's jacket... lots o' pockets for the candies. Quickdraw holster on the right, the classic trench coat for concealment and keeping warm in the tunnels.

All set to go. Need a bit of air to get rid of the aftertaste of that napalm fuelled nightmare.

Cere- Literally!

Kate- Brain scan recognition, think pitahaya as the "safe word". Numerical touchpad, and a physical key...

Cere- With all this security they'll have an easier time hitting the wall.

Kate- Don't forget the directional mine behind it...

Cere- Did I? You have an incoming call.

Kate- Who's?

Cere- Alabaster Megacorp, rent division.

Kate- The barbarians are at the doors... fuck... do your worst invaders.

Message- "The PAYMENT of your RENT is FOuR MonTHS late...

Kate- Offbeat sterile scratchy voice, all the intimacy of automated messaging alright.

Offbeat ssv- You have TWO weeks to REmeDY the SItuation. IF you FAILL....LL.. to COMPLY we will send robots to SEIZE your ASSETS to cover the cost of your RENT and EXPEL YOU. Don't forget that inTERESTS have BEEN COmpilED AND are NOTED on your personal cusTOMer PAGE.

Kate- *Sigh* "Yeah, yeah, I know, I know... GO SCREW YOUR BOLTHOLES FREAKING... VACUDICK... SHIT! *Boom*

Why do I even bother making a scene? I knew this was coming and no one knows I'm doing the monkey dance. I don't even really feel it inside, the rage I mean... I don't feel anything really.

Cere- Are you ok Kate? Need a hug?

Kate- "FUCK y... hum... I mean... yes

Cere- Better?

Kate- *Mumble* "HEY! Isn't that the EXACT SAME HUG PATTERN?"

Cere- Each hug profile can be bought as a DLC for half a credit each, we have a collection of over a million profiles in option.

Kate- Fucking scam! *Sight*

'M surprise took them that long for a soulless corp to claim its due. Though I guess they wouldn't have any renters if they were too hard on the enforcement schedule. I bet if I don't pay they'll come with their bots break some shit up, take half and leave me be for a little while as a "humanitarian gesture" then come back in two more weeks for a second shake-up until I sign a modern serf contract. They don't really need money, they can literally make bits of it on-demand as they are the ones issuing it. What they want is obedience. Still, I'm still fucked in the shitter if I don't find some creds quickly.

Cere- You could go somewhere else to negotiate a safer loan and not do it under duress.

Kate- Or, I could shoot my sorry ass. 'M lucky enough not to wear a leash inherited from my parents for some reason... I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not into corporate BDSM. I admit enjoying the kick I get from not being a slave, like all the other suckers outside this fucking door. I want to keep that, comprendo?

Cere- Si... then I think you should go back to Cherry, she will want to help you.

Kate-... I hate you.