Her Baby

Han Meixiu shook her head.

Maybe before those were the questions she wanted to ask but right now, she just wanted to enjoy her company.

"I probably know much of the story. As for the missing part, I don't intend to know. You must have a reason for doing so."

Zhang Huiling tilted her head and studied her daughter for a time. She wasn't surprised that she knew.

What surprised her was her dismissive tone and for letting go of the opportunity to feed her curiosity.

Did someone warn her?

Or she could get the answer somewhere else?

"You have contact with your good for nothing father, right?"

"Either I have or I don't, does it really matter?"

The older woman chuckled with her response.

"So he's still alive..." Zhang Huiling whispered. There was a negligible feeling of relief inside her.

"Are you worried about him?"

"Should I?"

"Yes." Han Meixiu quickly answered and observed her own mother's reaction. She was a bit disappointed seeing no changes at all.

"You wanted to see me to tell me about that man?"

"No. I don't think I have to. If you really want to know, you'll always have a way."

Zhang Huiling smiled.

"Not bad."

"I don't really have anything to ask right now." She answered and picked a small tea sandwich but instead of eating it right away, she just stared at it and was actually fascinated how elegant it looked.

"Suit yourself." The older woman responded sipping elegantly her tea.

The smile lingering on her lips stayed longer than she expected. This kind of tranquil feeling has been lost inside her heart for a long time.

If she could stop the time she already did.

Since Han Meixiu's been awake for a time, her appetite started to recover. The little sandwich suited her taste. It was delicious looking and tasted equally good.

She remembered that every time her father would bring something home, her mother would excitedly call her and together they would enjoy it no matter what time of the day it was.

The food her father would bring home was special than the food they're eating in that Han mansion. Maybe because they were relaxed while enjoying the foods, they tasted a lot better.

Zhang Huiling would cutely arranged them on the plate and explain to her one by one as she would feed her little at a time.

Her cheeks would always bulged and crumbs were scattered around. As her round eyes would follow the food from the moment her mother would pick it up until it would be fed to her, there was always an unmasked happiness.

She remembered how her mother would scold her to swallow first before asking another bite and she would pout in response.

When they left Han mansion, their time together enjoying the food increased. After waking up, her mother would wash her and slowly give her light food.

Those mornings she thought would last longer. But she was wrong.

"I waited for you for so many mornings..." She said looking at the piece of pastry similar from what she used to eat and considered as her favorite in the past.

The older woman closed her eyes but didn't utter a single word.

The young woman's voice was similar to thin dagger that danced in the air to slice her heart.

"I was so afraid to sleep alone...Grandma has to move my bed..."

As Han Meixiu recalled the past with her melancholic voice drifting like a soft wind, her wound eventually opened. Although she didn't want to tell her those as she would sound like she was blaming her, she couldn't control herself.

She's been keeping them inside for so long. Trying to cover up again and again. But that kind of pain was surprisingly living like a pest, it was so hard to make it totally disappear.

Han Meixiu thought she's already numb but she overestimated herself.

"I'm..."

"Mom, I'm not really angry. I only want to unload... But really, I understand... You have your own problems that time and it was the best solution..." Han Meixiu knew her words didn't make sense but she still uttered them one at a time.

No specific meaning, only words she could remember coming out from her 5 year old self.

The streaming tears were cleansing her red cheek and there were still few droplets ready to make their way. It's futile to stop because she couldn't control the opened longing she's been suppressing.

The older woman seemed to be transported back in time when Han Meixiu was still a little kid.

She was such an obedient little angel. She didn't cry much and would be contented cuddling with her.

If she would read her a bed time story, her little baby would listen attentively instead of sleeping. She could only sleep when her head would on her arms.

Her baby would smile beautifully that could make her world brighten in an instant.

She knew back then that staying in Han mansion could snatched away her baby's happiness. Her baby, their baby.

She only had a simple wish. A complete family free from manipulation and deceit.

But the world was not favorable to them. One at a time, her simple dream was crushed little by little.

When she couldn't come back, her ultimate worry was how her baby would sleep.

She tried to escape, negotiate and threaten the people around her that time, but it was futile. Nobody could hear her voice, her plea.

In that desperate place, she met Bai Minghua, also a wife of Han and just like her, she has a daughter.

She was 'imprisoned' because she was labelled as a disgrace. But unlike her, her daughter would visit her at least twice a month.

Bai Minghua has already a health problem the time she met her. Her condition was getting worse but she didn't want to go to the hospital. She knew there was no point as she could feel her nearing end.

She only had one wish before she died.

"If one day, you'll be able to leave this place, please help my daughter to be strong. Help her to survive in this world."

Zhang Huiling could still remember the little girl who almost collapsed when she heard the death of her mother.

She remembered her own daughter, Han Meixiu. For sure, she's crying her heart out. But unlike Bai Minghua, she didn't want to die weak.

She wanted to become powerful. Powerful enough to protect her baby.

Her baby, the one who's in front of her shedding tears to the years they both lost.

She slowly stood up and went to the side of the weeping young woman. In her eyes, no matter how many time passed, she's still her baby.

As she embraced her and pressed her against her bosom like what she always did in the past, she let herself indulged in the emotion of a normal mother.

She might have received harsh criticisms from other people about the way she handled things, but she didn't care.

The end justifies the means.

Her dress started to get damped. Every tear she shed was too painful to bear.

Her heart was bleeding and like before it would definitely leave an invincible scar.

In a loving voice coated with sadness and guilt, Zhang Huiling whispered.

"My baby, Mom is sorry."