Call My Name

Glossary

[ )*qiè: Shortened and very general name for concubine. Used also as an appellation by women to refer to themselves, usually in front of their husbands.]

[ )*běn wàng fēi: this wangfei. Ben is used by a speaker to refer to themselves in the third person (illeism). This form of speaking is used for more formal occasions, usually when the speaker is part of a conversation among equals or as the highest ranking person in the room]

[ Hui An, Hui : splender, An : peace ]

***

"Xia He, aren't you tired of checking the cash book since yesterday? "My husband asked. I smiled then saw him. I shake my head.

We are both in his study room. After waking up early and having breakfast, I began checking the cash book again. Xiao Junwangye asked me to check the cash book in his study room. His reason is that his study room is more comfortable to do calculate.

I agree with his opinion.

His study room has good lighting. This room has many windows so the air circulation is very good. Around this study room, there are many trees. Make this room cool. Furniture in this room is also relatively new.

It seems like this study room has been completely renovated.

"You like counting, right? Your father said that to me, "my husband sitting by the window asked me.

"Is My father said that, Wangye?" I asked him. He nodded his head.

"Your father talked a lot about you. He said you really like math. You also like to read ancient literature about women's code of ethics. You like reading Kingdom history. You also interest in another kingdom culture and condotion. You like learning new things, "he said enthusiastically.

"I didn't expect my father to know that I liked that," I spoke in a low voice.

"He loves you very much, Xia He," he said and I smiled. My father's face crossed my mind. My guilt arises. During this time, I always thought that my father only loved Yun Jing Fei. I'm not happy to hear the praise he gave for Jing Fei.

I just found out that my father also cares for me.

"I also just found out that you are good at sewing too. I'm very happy when our wedding clothes come. I see your stitches neat. You also choose the right type of fabric. I like it very much, "he praised me. I smiled at that. Actually I don't like sewing. I sewed our clothes because I had to.

"Why do you like counting?" He asked me again.

"Because the number can't lie," I answered briefly. My husband no longer asks me. Maybe he understood the meaning of my words. Or maybe he doesn't care about what I mean.

However, the question made me remember the past.

Since I was seven years old, I like watching people around me. I observe their behavior. I watched the way they talked. I often find if they lied to me.

Many reasons they use to lie. Some say that they lie to protect themselves. Some say they lie to respect other people's feelings.

Over time, I learned to lie. I lied to cover up the crime I committed to Yun Jing Fei. I lied to people if I agreed with them so they would be friends with me. Finally I made a false praise so that they felt appreciated.

There are other reasons why I finally learned to lie. My other reason is that I want to be Huanghou (empress) in the future. I think that an Empress was not only busy taking care of the Palace, the palace woman and the children of the Emperor.

An Empress must understand her surrounding situation quickly. Understand the people around her and guess their thoughts. She not only has to be clever and has a lot of knowledge. In my opinion, the empress must also be cunning. To be cunning, she must know to lie.

However, lies often make me tired. The attitude of pretending is draining and stressing me out. At that time, I will tell the butler at Yun Manor to bring the cash book to me. I let go of stress by counting.

This is weird isn't it? Many people say numeracy is a very difficult lesson. Some even consider counting to be stressful. However, for me counting is actually reducing my stress.

Why? That's because I like numbers.

I really like numbers. I think the numbers are a symbol of consistency. It has laws and rules that don't change.

When a number is added to another number, it will increase. If it is reduced, it will decrease. If it is multiplied, it will multiply. Finally, if it is divided, it will be small. Therefore, I think numbers are objects that are dedicated because numbers always follow the rules.

There are other reasons why I like numbers. Numbers aren't like humans, he doesn't know how to lie. Numbers are always consistent with the law. When numbers violates just one rule from the calculation, the error will be seen. If numbers have to be added then it must be added. If numbers has to be reduced, it must be reduced.

Compared to humans, numbers are fairer. He divided himself fairly. For example, when I divided ten apples into five servants, each waiter would get two apples. It means that the number divided will give itself equal to the number that divides it.

Numbers honesty, consistency and generosity make me love numbers.

"Master Yun also said that Xia He can judge someone. Is he or she honest or not, "my husband suddenly said again. His words interrupted my thoughts.

"My father said that?" I asked and he nodded his head.

"I believe all of Master's words. I believe that Xia He can find out whether someone is lying or not, "he caught up and I laughed. Xiao Junwangye stands up and walks up to me.

"When Benwang (this prince) says that Benwang loves you, do you believe me? Do I look like a liar? "He asked me while holding my hand. I saw his face. I smile.

"I believe you. I can see that Junwangye talking honestly to me, "I said frankly.

"Hui An," he said. I wrinkled my forehead because I didn't understand the meaning of what he was saying.

"Call me Hui An when we are alone," he said. I looked at him. Shocked. He just mentioned his real name, right?

"Qie)* doesn't dare," I said frankly.

The Palace Rules forbid common people to call the real names of princes, princesses and emperors. They must be called by the title given to them. No exception, their wife or husband. Only the royal family can call their real names.

"You're not someone else for me, Xia He. You are my wife. You are Benwangfei)*, "he insisted.

"But," I tried to explain. However, he prevented me from talking with kiss me.

"Junwangye," I said in surprise. He kissed my lips again.

"Junwangye," I repeated, and he kissed me again. I realized that he forced me to call him by his real name.

"Hui An," I said and he stopped kissing me. He pulled me into his arms.

"Right, like that," he said and I felt my cheeks very hot now. I can hear the sound of his heart in his arms. His heart was beating fast.

I don't know that I have loved my husband now or not. However, I'm happy to be in his arms like now. When I mentioned his name, I felt calm.

"Call my name again!" He asked me.

"Hui An," I said his name.

"Again!"

"Hui An," I called it again. His name feels beautiful when spoken.

***

I closed the last cash book that I checked in my room. Hui An had been sitting on the edge of the bed since an hour ago. After dinner, I bring that last book to my room and check it from three hours ago.

"Xia He, come here!" He said. I smiled and approached him. When I was near him, he pulled my wrist and my waist. His actions made me sit on his lap. I became a little nervous

"Are you not tired?" He asked.

"No, Junwangye," I answered, but his face showed dislike.

"Hui An," I corrected my words. He smiled.

"Since when did Hui An fall in love with me?" I asked him. He smiled.

"It's been a long time. Since we were both child, "he replied.

"Is it because I'm beautiful?" I asked.

"More than that," he said. His face turned red. His hand holds a ribbon that ties my clothes. Slowly he pulled it.

"Hui An," I held his hand. Stop his action. He smiled.

"Sorry. I'm not ready. I do not want if when we are consummated our marriage, I think of other people, "I spoke frankly. However, I immediately regretted my words. Where does my ability to lie? Why in front of Hui An, I can't lie?

His face looked disappointed. I know that I have hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Hui An. You are very precious to me. Therefore, I don't want to think of other people when we do it. That looks like that betraying you. You know that I have loved Guo Wei Wangye since I was little. So I don't know what my feelings are now. I'm afraid when we do it, I even see his face and not your face, "I said frankly. He smiled.

"I understand," he said.

"I don't want you to get hurt. I often lie to other people. However, to you, I don't dare, "I said again. My heart is worried.

"I believe," he said and I was relieved to hear his answer.

"You are not angry? If you insist that we do it, I obey, "I said reluctantly. He shook his head.

"I really love Xia He. Love makes me wait for Xia He's heart to be mine, "he smiled.

"However, I may kiss you whenever I want, right?" He said. I nod my head. Hui An smiled. He kissed my lips.