Things change

Time sure flies fast... It's Mihaela's last night here. It was fun to have some female energy inside our home. She was busy during day time so we only bond during dinner and sleep time. We talked and talkes but it seems like the time isn't enough for us. I want to make more girl talks!

"So are you sure about working overseas?"

"Yes. Sooner or later I will have to do things on my own. Like I want to explore the world too."

I faked a tear. "You're not a baby anymore. You're already grown up" She hit me playfully.

"Stop it!" she hissed.

"It's not easy though living on your own. I've been like thag for several years. Sometimes its kinda lonely to be all by yourself but its fun cause you get to experience lots of things. Makes you strong and ready to face tomorrow." I hugged my heart shaped pillow that Reeve gave me last valentine.

"If I get to be left with a baby I wouldn't know what to do. But look at you." she faced me "you are like a real momma now."

"It's not easy really. I was scared...scared that I won't be able to become a good mother. I don't know if I'm fit to be one but still I was given a good opportunity so I have to make the best of it."

"Yeah even giving up this long awaited plan to go overseas." she laid back on the bed looking at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry... We have planned this for long but things change, even my priorities changed because of Kenji."

"I get it. I'll be sad though. We should have been doing this both together. This whole processing thing. Honestly I was a bit disappointed about you changing the topic everytime I mention it. I know you had your reasons but I'm wondering a lot so I came here by surprise. Now I know why..." I was looking at her and I noticed that she was smiling.

"Things change..." she repeated whispering.

°°°

Now's the time that we have to send her back. Reeve placed her luggage on the back of his car and asked if everything is complete. We nodded and then we headed to the airport. The ride was quiet until we reached our destination. We still have time so we decided to park the car and chill for sometime.

"Hopefully you could come for Kenji's birthday." Reeved said.

"I hope so... As long as I'm still here I'll be coming don't worry." she answered.

"I will miss you..." I was fighting my tears but my efforts where gone to waste when she embraced me. She was like a sister to me even before Christie came, Mimi was there always until 'things changed' for a reason and I had to live independently.

"Stop crying... We will see each other soon okay?" she patted my head.

"Okay..." but I was crying so hard. It's nice to have her around. Really from the bottom of my heart.

Reeve was just watching us while holding Kenji who was busy playing with his minion stuff toy. We talked for a little more before sending her to the entrance. With one last hug we sent her off. Again the road towards home was quiet. I was trying not to think of her or I'll cry again. Goodbyes hurt. I looked at my baby and the instant daddy. I don't want them to say goodbye to me. Upon having that thought I felt a sharp pain on my heart.

Upon arriving home I sat on the couch and tried to check anything I can watch to remove this loneliness I'm feeling. I need to find a way to remove these negative thoughts.

°°°

Sachie seems so sad or rather lonely. I want to remove that. I want her to be happy and smiling. She just keeps on pressing the remote control. Like she was about to finish the list of channels but still can't find anything worth watching. It's like she's just staring at it. I took the remote from her hand and turned it off. She looked at me like she's about to cry as if I took away her favorite doll. How can this girl be so adorable? I took her in my arms and whispered, "You are not alone."

I think there are lots of things that is going on her mind right now. She's worried about Christie coming back. it's like Kenji is not ours fully but something that was sent for us to take care of. Yes we have the legal papers but who can blame the saying that "Blood is thicker than water." But whatever it is I want us to fight for him. I wanted to tell her several timea about Kenji's dad but everytime I try too my tongue gets twisted and words won't come out of my mouth.

I know anytime he might show up even though we ended up fighting about it. I told him he has no right and he said that so am I. It hurts. The stabbing pain on my heart hurts. Yes I don't have the right by being his biological father but I love him like my own. I know Sachie will get mad upon learning the truth from others but how can I say it? How? It's tough. I don't want her to be like this when the time comes.

He said he respects Christie's decision but still he wants to be a father to his child. He understood the situation but his heart his telling otherwise like he wants to fight for his right but he doesn't want to cause trouble for me and Sachie. He said he's thankful but I'll be more grateful if he lets us live in peace.

I was lost in my thoughts that I hadn't notice that she was staring at me the whole time until she broke the silence and asked,

"Is something bothering you?"

Yes I'm really bothered cause I don't know how to start with telling her one important truth.

22-03-2020