Monster

"What the hell?" They could not believe what they were seeing.

"I am not experiencing a nightmare, right? Someone, please pinch me," said one of the knights.

"Ughhhhhhh!!!"

A nearby knight, instead of pinching him, accidentally shoved his sword in the knight's butt!

"What the hell are you doing?! Do you want to kill me, your daddy, here?!" screamed the hurt knight as he tried to alleviate some of his pain by rubbing his butt.

"S-Sorry, I did not mean to do that," replied the fellow knight with a dazed look on his face. He still wasn't able to recover from the overwhelming shock he had received.

"Did not mean to do that my ass! Thank God no severe damage was dealt. Or otherwise, my sword would not have rested until it pierced your ass into a half-sliced potato!"

"Pipe down, you two!" The Captain glared at them with eyes full of anger. He had told them to not to disgrace themselves in front of the Lord's mother, but here they were, doing the very thing he had warned them against.

Though it was not like he could not understand why they were acting like this, for the monstrosity in front of them was more than capable of invoking such a reaction from them.

'Is this really the Lord's mother? How could even such a creature be allowed to exist,' he smiled bitterly to himself. Prior to seeing the lord's mother, he had imagined her to be a wise noble woman with a pure and gentle appearance.

But forget about being pure and gentle, it bore no resemblance to even a human being. In fact, it was anything but human.

He swore to never even tell anyone about that tetrahedral nose, that horseshoe mouth; that little left eye obstructed with a red, bushy, bristling eyebrow, while the right eye disappeared entirely beneath an enormous wart; of those teeth in disarray, broken here and there, like the embattled parapet of a fortress; of that callous lip, upon which one of these teeth encroached, like the tusk of an elephant; of that forked chin; and above all, of the expression spread over the whole; of that mixture of malice, amazement, and sadness.

To sum it up, she had a face only a mother could love. Wait, that's not right. Even a mother with a particle of aesthetic sense would feel repulsed and revolted by that face. The gods would must have been watching a dog getting laid by a female goblin when they got the inspiration of creating her.

"Oh my, are you not going to greet this lady?" The Baron's mother came closer and stood near the Captain.

"AH!"

"Eh? What are you screaming for?" She leaned in more closer.

'This voice...what is with this voice?!!!' Due to being lost in his reverie, he was previously surprised when she suddenly leaned in and put forth her question, but this time he did not panic because of that.

He panicked because of her goddamn voice! It was nothing like he had heard before. It sounded like as if a piece of cotton was stuck in a donkey's throat — Raspy was the most humane word he could use to describe it.

"Are you listening to me? And by the way, why are your knights vomiting all of a sudden?" She asked with a curious expression on her face, which in turn made her appear more revolting.

He looked away when her breath reached me, smelling of onions and liver. Looking at the sight of the knights vomiting, he said, "Do not disgrace yourselves, everyone! Get back to patrolling the palace! I will take care of the rest."

If even he, a strong-willed Captain (Author's correction: Self-proclaimed strong-willed captain, to be more specific), could not endure such a sight and voice, it was needless to say about the rest of the knights' reaction.

Now that he thought about it, this woman could destroy an army of soldiers by her appearance alone.

'Set your priorities straight!' His Kingdom should be concentrating on eliminating this abomination instead of thinking of going to war with the neighbouring kingdom.

"Thank you, Captain!" For the first time in their lives, the knights were happy to go on a patrol. 'Whatever gets us away from her...the further, the better,' was what all of them were thinking.

They reacted as if they had heard god's decree and scurried away in the blink of an eye.

"Pardon me for the unbecoming display, Madam. If you would please follow me to the Lord's chamber. He has been looking forward to your arrival for quite some time," said the Captain as he offered a hesitant bow.

"No offense was taken. Lead the way, Captain," giggled the monster whilst placing her right-hand on her mouth.

"Y-Yes,' replied the Captain.

"And kindly wait for me here, Martin. I will call for you in half an hour," she said to the young carriage driver.

"As you say, Madam," said the young boy with a respectful expression on his face.

"Fufufufu, lets go."

☯☯☯☯

As they made their way through the palace hall, the looks of disgust they, or rather she received from the maids and butlers were too numerous to count.

The Captain could also vividly remember the looks of pity and condolences directed towards him from his fellow workers when they saw him together with the monster.

"We have reached the Lord's chamber, Madam," said the Captain after stopping before a dark wooden door. He couldn't be more happy to see the monster go away, as he could not tolerate a second in her presence anymore.

He was about to give out a sigh of relief just when he experienced a weird sensation down THERE. It was a foreign feeling --- Nothing like he had experienced before. It was as if something was grabbing an important part of his body and even fondling it.

Even before his cerebral cortex can phrase his conclusion of what was happening to the speech-control center, the sense of shame and humiliation outruns them with the speed of light. THAT thing was groping his ass.

"W-Wh... what?"

He stuttered like an idiot, as if he have been devolved into a goldfish with a single-digit IQ. And due to sheer embarrassment, he passes out.

"Captain, what happened?!" The two maids nearby halted their conversation and hurried up to the unconscious captain.

"Oh my, he must have passed out because of sunstroke. Being a knight is not an easy job; more so, a captain who has to work twice as hard. Ask the butlers to come and tend to the captain. I shall go and meet my son," said the Baron's mother with a sad expression on her face, which half through the

conversation changed into a dignified one....well, at least she thought of it to be as such.

"Y-Yes, Madam!" The two maids shouted and went to call for the butlers.

Seeing that they have left, she sighed and said: "Maybe I overdid it a little."

She pushed the door open and entered the chamber with slow steps. The following words resounded in the hall as she closed the door: "How are you, my son? Your. Mother. Has. Missed. You."