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Review Detail of weeeeeeeee in Keeper Of The Library

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weeeeeeeee
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Writing Quality: It... isn't good. While the basic grammar (the word-by-word grammar) is fine, trying to keep in mind when [MC] or [other characters] are talking is a genuinely tough task, due to the lack of dialogue marks (the "[words of dialogue]"). And often, even reading is hard, due to a severe lack of commas... Because of that, I found myself skimming over the paragraphs. Author, feel free to refer to some comments I left on the chapters. I can give a bit of an extra explaination, if needed. Story Development: Too early to judge. I did like the concept, though. Character Design: It's... I don't know how to feel about it? We're presented to [MC], an everyday man who had his dreams crushed by society's cruel rules... Only for him to react calmly to all of the events taking place in the Library, with the ones that stood out to me being the tentacles, and the bloodline recreation. In the former, [MC] had some panic, but almost forgot about everything right after?? With something similar happening with the bloodline recreation. Both the [MC] and his "best friend" had a similar reaction to that one, with them even being able to joke and flirt casually around *after* having gone through a potentially life-and-death experience. A horribly painful one, at that. I was going to rate this 3/5 because of William and the former Librarian Keeper (Both of which generated some interest for me), but I decided against it. Update Stability: By WN's standards (consistent 7-14 chapters per werk), this is low. You're barely starting, though, so I'd say this is one of the easier things to fix. World Background: Up to chapter 7-8, there's little information. A few names were dropped in the dialogue, but nothing explained in depth yet. Only reason why I'm giving it 3/5 is because the Library itself is interesting. So, yeah. I don't have much else to say here as I've already said everything in the previous paragraphs... Wait, nevermind, I do. Consider changing some of the tags, as certain things might be seen as deal-breakers for many. (An example possibly being the lack of an LGTB tag. This one is a genuine piece of advice, so you can avoid waking up to a bunch of insults and threats over having a kiss between two best friends.) ... That's about it. Have a good day/night, readers/author!

Keeper Of The Library

FoxyWitch

Aimé par 1 personnes

COMME

Réponses5

FoxyWitch
FoxyWitchAuteurFoxyWitch

Thanks for the review! I know it isnt that great as i am still new to writing and this is just something I enjoy doing in my free time. In the later chapters I did start trying to add character remarks when they are speaking. I had complaints about it in the past so i was trying something new at the beginning but i can see where the confusion comes from. Also the main reason why the characters pretty much forgot the painful things they went through is cause like what happens with trauma sometimes their minds just suppressed and blocked it out. I wanted it to also make it seem like the bloodline they got is sort of changing the way they think or feel like becoming more arrogant or temperamental.

weeeeeeeee
weeeeeeeeeLv4weeeeeeeee

No problem! But please consider adding remarks in the earlier ones, when you have free time ofc. It'll help you keep a greater portion of potential readers around.

FoxyWitch:Thanks for the review! I know it isnt that great as i am still new to writing and this is just something I enjoy doing in my free time. In the later chapters I did start trying to add character remarks when they are speaking. I had complaints about it in the past so i was trying something new at the beginning but i can see where the confusion comes from. Also the main reason why the characters pretty much forgot the painful things they went through is cause like what happens with trauma sometimes their minds just suppressed and blocked it out. I wanted it to also make it seem like the bloodline they got is sort of changing the way they think or feel like becoming more arrogant or temperamental.
weeeeeeeee
weeeeeeeeeLv4weeeeeeeee

also, with regards to the trauma suppression thing... it sort of makes sense? but idk if it can "start" that early (if you get what i mean, its hard to explain this one properly)

FoxyWitch:Thanks for the review! I know it isnt that great as i am still new to writing and this is just something I enjoy doing in my free time. In the later chapters I did start trying to add character remarks when they are speaking. I had complaints about it in the past so i was trying something new at the beginning but i can see where the confusion comes from. Also the main reason why the characters pretty much forgot the painful things they went through is cause like what happens with trauma sometimes their minds just suppressed and blocked it out. I wanted it to also make it seem like the bloodline they got is sort of changing the way they think or feel like becoming more arrogant or temperamental.
weeeeeeeee
weeeeeeeeeLv4weeeeeeeee

but im glad there's a reason

FoxyWitch
FoxyWitchAuteurFoxyWitch

I have a vacation sometime at the end of june so i planned to go back and do my best to fix it

weeeeeeeee:No problem! But please consider adding remarks in the earlier ones, when you have free time ofc. It'll help you keep a greater portion of potential readers around.