Review Detail of Nyxio in My Spider-Man System
Détail de l’examen
I have a lot of problems with this book. 1. Memory is kinda sealed he only gets a little info from seeing characters, so this memory is unreliable. 2. Author seems to want MC to focus on only tech and leave bio studies to Peter which is very dumb, it is mentioned that MC and Peter have the same IQ and if Peter could be good good at both canonically then why limit MC to only tech? 3. So…MC and Peter made a secret hideout out of their dad’s lab in the train as we saw in the movies but guess what? MC invites all the Spider-Man cast from him class and harry osborne is one of them, who btw seems totally okay with letting harry go to this unknown place with the only reassurance being a tracker near the pothole to the train below(according to my understanding,this is not very properly explained). If y’all know Osborne’s personality you would know that he will 100% investigate this which would possibly lead him to discovering the coach with the Parker brother’s dad’s lab which guess what? Is on the same tracks just a little bit away. 4. MC is also seen as loving prancing Miles as part of his “funny” personality in an attempt to amuse Cindy which just earns a facepalm from me. This was an absolute cringefest. Such a scummy character. Bros before h*es. 5. MC likes to stick to Peter for some reason, he can’t be away from him in any scene. He gives Peter the right to make decisions like leaving early or not and has to give an explanation to Peter whenever he makes a stupid decision like inviting everyone to the train that is on the same track as their dad’s lab without prior warning or preparations. 6. Another nail in the coffin for me was that when he got the spider bite he got a system, but he is only twice as strong than an average adult…yes you read it correct only TWICE!! I don’t care if he can grow stronger later he is the weakest spiderman in history of novels and books ever!!! Even his “friends” and Peter who got bitten by spiders would have a higher base strength than him and can still keep growing stronger like MC if they don’t limit themselves so this was a huge nerf. 7. The final nail in the coffin was when it turns out he can invite people to his “party” through his system to make them stronger. It would have still been fine if author intended to let the system be exclusive to MC and give him a faster growth speed as compensation for lower starting strength and lack of abilities but no, he had to ruin it by making it “that” kind of novel and ruining MC’s advantage. With his character seen so far he would bend over for all his “friends” and give them a power boost while trying to keep his sense of superiority through unlikely and plot driven events. Here ends my rant. It’s been a while since I have been this riled up. As a fan of spiderman this novel hurt me mentally,
My Spider-Man System
TLW
Aimé par 19 personnes
COMMERéponses10
The issue with the hideout has been solved in the newest chapter, we'll find out about Norman's activities in later chapters as far as that goes. The other issue with the strength will be fixed in tomorrow's chapter. I'll explain it as far as I can before it is posted, but the bite that they had gotten would enhance their bodies with its venom. That venom didn't take for whatever reason, instead creating pockets of venom spread throughout their bodies. Xavier creates something to rapidly accelerate this process. As far as adding others to the system, it will not accelerate their growth. In no way can they just buy powers from the system. There will be no extra help to the users of it. It is meant to be a sort of backbone to any who have it, allowing them to use the shop to buy things like blueprints and materials to build such things. There are other things like recovery items, but nothing overpowered. I plan on having the system there as a backbone for the group's growth in knowledge and skill. Again, there will be no drastic jump in strength other than maybe a few important missions that only the boys themselves can get. I will admit that the strength thing was a major misstep at first, but I plan to input it into the story. Oh and as far as the brother's interest in different topics, it's just that. Their interest. In layer chapters, it will be shown that both brothers are skilled in their brother's field, but they are gifted in their own because they enjoy working with it more. In the future, I will be more concise with story elements, but I was going to have them have the same powers anyway. The only reason I'm using the system in the first place is because it is fun to work with and around. I hope this answers some of your conserns
It seems you plan to fix a few of the things on this list but fixing isn’t a good idea if you want more regular readers. They will be put off by one or more of the reasons above. I think you need a rewrite with more planning in your next try. You can’t expect people to read 20 chapters to see resolution of mistakes in the first few. This is unfortunately a common mistake that new authors do which leads to them not getting more viewers and then them ultimately dropping their book when it doesn’t get popular. You gotta know that a lot of readers are able to predict the direction of the book from the tiniest details because these are such common mistakes so it will be hard to convince them to come back. As for the system, I recommend removing it entirely if your plan is to use at a support for the friend group. What you could do instead is either develop an AI or have one of the people in the group have a skillet in coding and hacking to procure resources. As for blueprints it will be better then to create it themselves than to rely on something hard to explain like the system. It’s just high risk for unproportionate gains.
TLW:The issue with the hideout has been solved in the newest chapter, we'll find out about Norman's activities in later chapters as far as that goes. The other issue with the strength will be fixed in tomorrow's chapter. I'll explain it as far as I can before it is posted, but the bite that they had gotten would enhance their bodies with its venom. That venom didn't take for whatever reason, instead creating pockets of venom spread throughout their bodies. Xavier creates something to rapidly accelerate this process. As far as adding others to the system, it will not accelerate their growth. In no way can they just buy powers from the system. There will be no extra help to the users of it. It is meant to be a sort of backbone to any who have it, allowing them to use the shop to buy things like blueprints and materials to build such things. There are other things like recovery items, but nothing overpowered. I plan on having the system there as a backbone for the group's growth in knowledge and skill. Again, there will be no drastic jump in strength other than maybe a few important missions that only the boys themselves can get. I will admit that the strength thing was a major misstep at first, but I plan to input it into the story. Oh and as far as the brother's interest in different topics, it's just that. Their interest. In layer chapters, it will be shown that both brothers are skilled in their brother's field, but they are gifted in their own because they enjoy working with it more. In the future, I will be more concise with story elements, but I was going to have them have the same powers anyway. The only reason I'm using the system in the first place is because it is fun to work with and around. I hope this answers some of your conserns
