I think it's a good story with wonderful word building. I like the character's and like someone else mentioned I would focuss on adding more dialogue in chapter one: create a scene where some things are explained in a setting. Other than that I like this story :D keep up the good work
Paul_Okito
Aimé par 5 personnes
COMMEPaul_Okito:Thanks for your feedback. I sincerely apologize for not using much dialogue. I will endeavor to do so. I really appreciate your review.