Review Detail of Mc_Fly in Oscuro Online
Détail de l’examen
I couldn't pass the 2nd chapter, so this review will probably be biased. The chapters feel like a bunch of poorly connected ideas with a lack of explanation of how we got there or at least a hint, which creates a disconnection between what happens in the book and what the reader might perceive. SPOILER AHEAD. For example, in the beginning, it says that the mc hasn't murdered in 11 years. I'm going to assume he was transmigrated at the age of 6 and went john wick on someone. Then he explains how the killing was common in his last world (Oscuro). So until that part, the personality of the mc should be of a grown man who knows about life he is probably older than 30 if we combine two lives (I'm assuming this part, or if he transmigrated younger, is most likely more mature than it should be, based on the 'killed someone' part), but the writing sadly doesn't reflect that instead, we have the typical naive 17-year-old. Again I only read the beginning. Therefore I may be wrong.
Oscuro Online
PsionicMind
Aimé par 1 personnes
COMMERéponses2
Thanks for the review. I do agree with some of your points as you only read two chapters, but I'd like to explain some stuff. 1) I want his past to be a mystery. 2) He is not from Oscuro... explanation will be long so I'll stop at that. 3) He might have been a cold blooded killer but I hope you will also consider that fact that he grew up with kids again. Alright those are the main points but I'll talk a bit more. you are right about the regression age (6) He might have experienced life but I've seen old people of about the age of 70 or 60 acting childish and naive but deep in their minds, there is a whole lot of wisdom. The 11 years of no action has made him put his guard down and enjoy life, but as time goes on, he will get back to his blood craving behavior. this is the basic stuff and I'm afraid if I say more, they will most prolly be spoilers I agree that I did make mistake here and there as this is obviously my first novel. I'm still trying to improve. Try reading a few more chapters as I'd really appreciate it if I got a review after you read a few more chapters. Again, thanks for the review. This kinda hit me but as a budding author I gotta take it on my face.
Thanks for the explanation, I'll give it another chance and see how you develop the novel, and regardless of a bad or good review, I hope you keep improving your writing skills and don't let it affect you too much. It requires lots of courage to post a novel
PsionicMind:Thanks for the review. I do agree with some of your points as you only read two chapters, but I'd like to explain some stuff. 1) I want his past to be a mystery. 2) He is not from Oscuro... explanation will be long so I'll stop at that. 3) He might have been a cold blooded killer but I hope you will also consider that fact that he grew up with kids again. Alright those are the main points but I'll talk a bit more. you are right about the regression age (6) He might have experienced life but I've seen old people of about the age of 70 or 60 acting childish and naive but deep in their minds, there is a whole lot of wisdom. The 11 years of no action has made him put his guard down and enjoy life, but as time goes on, he will get back to his blood craving behavior. this is the basic stuff and I'm afraid if I say more, they will most prolly be spoilers I agree that I did make mistake here and there as this is obviously my first novel. I'm still trying to improve. Try reading a few more chapters as I'd really appreciate it if I got a review after you read a few more chapters. Again, thanks for the review. This kinda hit me but as a budding author I gotta take it on my face.