Review Detail of Jolan_Hildebrandt in Sword God in a World of Magic

You have a great story idea, and I'm sure you've improved since the first chapter. You didn't choke the first chapter with exposition, thank you for that. Too many authors get excited and fill the page with things that could easily be woven into the story. You stayed on point and kept the story moving at a decent pace. However, what got me were the weak verbs and the constant telling. Take some time to bone up on show vs tell and your piece will shine