Well I think its quite average story but you have an idea there.From what I can see,your writing is improving in chapter two than one.I also checked your words in both chapter and it quite maintain you know,you can compact two chapter in about some words,that impressive.So far I thinks it too early to judge but I would like to see your progress in the future[img=recommend]
Ryo_Ryuuga
Liked it!
COMME