Review Detail of Lirika_Marchen in The love package; My Darling wife and baby girl

Author, I greet you. It's a fascinating story, but it sinks under various flaws. Of course, this is my subjective point and I don't want to offend you. I recommend rephrasing sentences with a large number of pronouns "I", and also adding quotation marks for direct speech. Perhaps at the beginning of the story you should add a brief reference, "Who is who", so that later there will be no confusion. Who is Andrey? He's the boss's assistant. Clear. And who is this. Kelvin. Okay. Thanks for the story. It is clear that you have made best effort to write it. I will definitely finish it. :) Respectfully, L. Machen.