webnovel
jesusguero25
jesusguero25Lv145yr
2019-03-10 10:49

This is good keep it up. Very well writing. Lengthy chapters. And bad ass MC. It very good so far in my opinion.......................................................................................

Liked by 4 people

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Replies2
JustABeginner
JustABeginnerAuthor

Thank you man. Anything you think could be better?

newthings
newthingsLv6

does it have system?

JustABeginner:Thank you man. Anything you think could be better?
Other Reviews
Morning_Fragrance
Morning_FragranceLv14

It was good until it was dropped. My previous review: Great fanfiction! The grammar is good, you won't have to reread sentences constantly. But it's not perfect, you'll encounter some minor errors that can easily be looked over. Chapter release is steady, I read a chapter around late afternoon then wake up to another chapter in the morning. Story development is at a good pace, but falls a bit when it comes to characters. There isn't a lot of thrill like how the show was. It's almost predictable, but hopefully that changes in later chapters after butterfly effects ripple constantly. In terms of character design, the OC characters have some plot but the interaction between characters seem stiff and a bit off. That's just how I feel about it, if there were some chapters that were dedicated to some of the characters to have a better understanding of them maybe it might feel better. Though I won't lie, I probably won't read those chapters if the first one of them is not interesting. In terms of relationships between characters, Amy in my opinion is too clingy. She died early on in the original work so not much to really know her actual character. But relations in general between the MC feel really clingy and possessive, the constant *** and blowjobs also make the relationship aspects of the novel dull. (But aye, the views that you'll get since lets be honest. A lot of the people who read fanfics desire "harem, ***, harem, ***, more ***, more women for harem." But that's just how the community for the genre ended up on this site. It's either you write smut or an out of the box, yet good, novel.) World background, there isn't a lot of areas shown in the show, but obviously it's literally our planet. The author has a lot of potential to not follow cannon and branch off to other towns, cities, states, countries, continents, and islands, that he isn't using to his advantage. It's still early in the story, so it's understandable that he wants to follow cannon a bit before making the novel entirely his own. Overall, it's a good read so far. I enjoy it and hopefully I enjoy the story later on.

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