Dark_9664

fixed

Truthfully, when I started reading I didn't expect much, but it's really good. Well, at least after 50 to 60 ch it Started getting on the track, and around 120 or 130 chapters you will be hooked. overall, batter than most of the others. if you want to read a good Naruto fan-fic then you can really give it a try.

I really want him to do research or study first hokaga cell, sharingun, etc. you know develope new techniques or research on other bloodline, after all with his shringun it could be possible. and seeing future enemy, this could really help.

yeah, that's good idea like a villain from future or a villain who has time rewind power. I also think that not all child of luck should be Mc's enemy like some who are very weak, Mc could just steal their main cheat,golden finger etc without them knowing and without their cheat those child of luck would become normal people just with good luck. and if possible our Mc could use them against other child of luck.

side character Harem is normal

for general, the way you write is good but just the story is slow or sometime very slow. and most time the enemy or the "so called protagonist of the world", are irritating not because they are bad but because it always look like they can do whatever they want and our MC can't really do anything to them, atleast not before 90 to 100 ch. I would suggest to make first child of luck little weak, and later introduce those cockroach like guys. seeing our Mc not always lose or shrink in fear would also help. After all for the God shack they have a system. Well that's my personal opinion, and I Don’t really want you to change you whole writing style, you know just little adjustment hear and there and all good. After all your style is little Unique, atleast for me as I haven't seen any other books like your. and I have already said I like your old books, Apocalypse Chaos, Misty Land and the later part like After our Mc decided to fight the child of luck in I have Harem of side character

nagot be like

no thought on this

me at 10 pm