almost!

Well yeah, but not everyone has Luffy's plot armor. And he's just 10 right now, becoming a pirate is kinda unrealistic, at least from east blue standards

yeah my bad. I honestly forgot about that skill. but i have included it in later chapters.

I just created one. same profile picture. my user name is justadudewithapen_ don't really have any followers on that for now.

Hi! Wow, yeah I'm interested. Honestly I just started writing, so this is an exciting opportunity. I would love to ghostwrite for you. Please feel free to tell me how I can contact you.

thank you and yeah I will change the fruit too.

thank you!

yeah. I just found it funny so I used it.

he won't be a marine throughout the story. more like use them like stepping stones.

yeah, the numbers didn't work for the story. hope you like the newer one.

man you've been such a help pointing these small mistakes out. thank you!

I understand. honestly this is the first time I'm writing something. so your feedback is really appreciated. I tried to write dialogues considering how I visualised the characters to be. given how young and impressionable Kuina was, and how for the first time she could be open to someone, she'd get attached really fast. but yeah ig it did come out a bit shallow. as for the power scaling, I'm trying to minimize the role of the system as the story goes on. honestly I have no clue why I even added it, maybe because it's the easiest to start a story with. as for how strong Raiden is, he is nearly the same strength as someone with a Bounty of 80 million belli so yeah pretty strong for East Blue, but I'll try to slow it down a bit once he enters the grandline

I was supposed to do it in the second chapter but I forgot. I've done in chapter 9 and yeah I didn't remember I had to describe the ocs in Black Rock village. I'll do it for other ocs that I may create. As for the one in Black Rock village they won't have much of a role in the story going forward.

yeah I made a typo. thanks for pointing out!

Appreciate it man!!

Right now I'm keeping all those options open. I'll see where I want to go with the character. Honestly writing a character as a marine is hard. You either make a character with a twisted moral compass or someone who's okay with being in blissful ignorance. I am thinking of a plot point and it does include marines. Hopefully you'd like it.

I wasn't planning on another info dump for quite some time. Honestly I feel the story doesn't need the system all that much either.

Thank you!!

I'll try to make a story where mc is not just brute forcing his way through and actually using his head. As for a devil fruit, it won't be something that'll make him a god. Haki would still be a main focus later in the story. Hope this helps!!

It's the same thing, both of those characters are extremely powerful especially jean grey. Giving him those powers would mean he'd one shot almost every character or if I don't do that I'll have to Nerf him which would be even worse. Hope this helps ☺️