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Lemix

Lemix

Lv1
2023-12-08 JointGlobal
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5
  • Lemix
    Lemix4 months ago
    Commenté

    I don't know how i feel about all this fanon and how self assured MC is about her armchair knowledge about stuff. Clone thing was fanon btw, he failed because he was lazy kid that barely studied and skipped class and he definitly did not had 4 anbu guarding him 24/7, that such a waste of manpower its kinda ridiculous. Nobody attacked Naruto or tried to kidnap him in his childhood and how would she even recognize a voice of some dude that showed up in canon like once? Grammar is fine but MC does not act like a human being.

  • Lemix
    Lemix6 months ago
    Posté

    I'm a sucker for isekai into "monster" and not being super OP, i like side characters and MC too, i can add alot more but there is not much point, grammar is pretty good and characters act reasonably that good enought for me, the rest you can find out by reading the story. good luck to author in future chapters.

  • Lemix
    Lemix8 months ago
    Commenté

    Lori was annoying, but i think u did her dirty there with meta "my rick is a leader" thing, she was bad but not that bad, otherwise great story as always.

  • Lemix
    Lemixa year ago
    Commenté

    They have a tank, archer and a rogue, now they only need a mage.

  • Lemix
    Lemixa year ago
    Posté

    Pretty good fic, world bulding is nice enought, MC is pretty good, the only thing that i dislike is combat pacing and some stuff related to it. Like this is obviously not Naruto but there is still powerlevels, but so far you ignore them when its convinient and point them out when its not, i havent read entire novel yet but just an example of MC and her companion moving and suddenly they both exausted at the same time, while they exercise there is clear difference in stamina and strenght, then they fight some beasts and get exausted in less then 30 seconds wich even my overweight ass would not do, its plot convinient stuff during combat that annoys me, other then that its pretty good read, my advice would be to make a chart with strenght/weaklness for cacharacters and make it less obvious during fights and traveling, she does not have to be the most strong or smart but why make her an muscled orc and then make her physically weak when plot(for some reason, its your story) demands, just add stronger enemy if you want to match her percieved strenght(i'm only 30% storywise so maybe you alredy did), good luck in your writing either way and thanks for your story.