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MukomaTJ

MukomaTJ

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Only made an account to say 'Harems are Trash', but now I can't find the fanfic I wanted to comment on!😂

2023-02-08 JointGlobal
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158
  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Posté

    Writing Quality: not sure if it's writing or translating, but it's not bad. The errors are at a scale where you can easily brush over them. Updating Stability: no idea, too far behind Story Development: it's ok. It's all about power growth timed to some canon events, with some liberties taken. Character Design: MC is a very distinct archetype who's development stopped the moment there were no immediate threats surrounding him. It's more that his true personality showed through the more his power grew. He's also an old soul pdf file groomer type, not one of my favourite things in fics, but he's not building a harem yet so that's something I guess. world background: it's well realised enough except for certain cultural cues. Close enough to the world of Naruto if you squint enough.

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Commenté

    Young master syndrome... Can't get away from it it seems

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Commenté

    Ayas, this is the kind of stuff that makes some fics difficult to stick with. Characters going off model is just off-putting. Yes, it's a fic and some liberties will be taken, but even that can only go so far before it reaches uncanny valley. A lot of that can be reduced by using a simple AU tag to manage expectations. But that's gonna have to be an issue for other readers.

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Commenté

    Right into the pdf files with this one! I'll see if that's seriously the direction it's going before I decide to peace out

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Commenté

    As the author nervously walked into the exam hall, they passed through an imperceptible barrier. They did not know it, but from this moment on, there was no going back. It wasn't long before the fated exam began. The moment the authors pen touched paper, an electric chill shot down their spine. "Just nerves. I studied hard, I can do this..." they thought, unaware an entity had cast it's unfathomably deep gaze upon them. A glimmer of greed and relief shone in the entities eyes as it cackled to itself, "Finally, my watch is over! Soon, I'll be free, but you..." The more the author filled their answer sheet, the more the entity, the Eternal Invigilator, began to fade. It greedily eyed the author before finally shouting in victory, "I'm finally free!!!" The author looked up at this shout, trying to find the poor fellow examinee who couldn't hold it in anymore. Seeing no signs, they couldn't help but let out a sympathetic chuckle. It had been a long slog to get here and now they too were done with the exam. 'I wouldn't mind letting out a shout too, but...' the author stopped mid thought as they looked at their exam sheet. A terrible cloying sense of dread enveloped them! The paper was empty! The author, in a frenzy, thumbed through the answer sheet in panic again and again! 'Nothing!' At their wits end, the author tried to get up and get the attention of one of the Invigilators, but somehow they couldn't move! Just before they let out a yell, a fading voice sounded directly in their ear. "Thank you for being the chosen one! My time as the Eternal Invigilator is now at an end and yours as the Eternal Examinee, is just beginning!" A feeling of being isolated from reality began to build. Terror cloyed at the author as they tried to find the source of the now whisper of a voice. "I too wrote a fic before invigilating exams once. I even promised my readers I'd be back soon. That's how I activated the curse and was trapped here! I can't tell you how many times I've watched these exams, but you're here now so I am free!" The authors heart skipped a beat as a dreadful premonition took hold! The voice continued, barely audible now. "Daddy2604 was it? Remember, the only way out of here is to finish the exam again and again and again until another cursed author comes to replace you! Don't worry. As payment for setting me free, I promise to read your fic at least once and give you a stone!" A bitter, ethereal laugh echoed in the exam hall as the author broke into a cold sweat... "See you, Eternal Examinee!" "No, wait!" Daddy2604 shouted, but there was no answer. Eternal Invigilator was gone, and the authors hell had just begun!

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Posté

    Lol, need more data! Shame this was dropped, the idea was rather promising and as far as as first chapters go, it was way above average for this site.

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Commenté

    The GPTness is strong with this one, but at least the idea seems interesting.

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ2 months ago
    Commenté

    Man, the lack of punctuation is really rough, especially when I'm using text to speech.

  • MukomaTJ
    MukomaTJ3 months ago
    Posté

    GPTness can get a bit much, but it's an okay read that has it's moments. Filler text for character count is a pain to create but alas, I really said all I had to say