Nest0r

I saw a few more comments similar to what I was writing at the start (hate for Lyra [my gang grows!]), and now that I have thought about it a bit, I think that it has roots in the same thing as my fears for power scaling. I am trying to find out if I am on a proper trail or just tripping. So, I am digging deeper. Not in the story, but more like in the general tone some situations had and why people get scared for the future. Not how the situation looked but what the situation meant for a reader, how it could scare him away from the story.

You see, I have like three things to touch, but all of them are tangled in a weird way, and I don't know from which end to start.

Hmmm, Is that a spoiler I see? xD

To start, I also don't know the Chainsaw Texas Massacre; I know it's bloody and widely known. But not knowing Rapunzel is weird, at least here, as Lyra's backstory is so similar to Rapunzel's that I thought it was what you based it on, but made a few darker turns. - Special from birth - check. - Locked because she was special - check. - Slowly becoming bored with her life and steadily wishing for the outside - check. - Incident that makes her start slipping from the control of the 'parental figure' - check. - All of this happening for her 'safety' - check. The problem I have is that it is possible when it comes to humans. But not probable when it comes to the supernatural races. Parents not having time because they had to manage the people isn't really a valid reason. As much as not taking her to conflicts is a proper reason, why wouldn't they take her with them when they were "managing the race"? And, like I said, leaving her in the palace isn't really that safe. Random dragon could just destroy the whole place because it looked like a nice big target when he was flying. We have things such as the [Dimension Lost] sacred gear. Why wouldn't there be a traitor among them (hehe, among us)? And the barriers being strong aren't really anything other than empty words. Are vampires even that advanced in magic (barrier magic)? I don't think so. Those bloodline characteristics such as blood manipulation, darkness magic, etc. That's their specialty, and you also added the soul to their strong sides. Right now, barriers are used in the story, like some obvious things. I think that's wrong. In DxD, they were pretty much used only as. "That's why humans don't know about supernaturals," information gathering, as living spaces, arenas for fights (the ranking games), and only Dimension Lost allowed for trapping people and entering other realms. And most of those are considered huge feats. Ranking games - Ajuka. Living space for Yokai - Amaterasu. (I am not sure about this one). [Dimension Lost] - created by God. Right now in the story, there is this narration as if barriers were used for everything. It began with Lyra being able to trap MC in the Domain, and now is even used for her backstory, as she was 'safe' under the barriers. In supernatural, that's more like painting a target on her back. Also, about her parents being 'good.' Right now, everything points out to them treating her like a somewhat special hamster. That isn't even close to being a good parent. It's scary how many faults I have with Lyra, so I write about that, while all I wish for is that she doesn't get mentioned again. But I know she's part of the story, and I worry that something about her that doesn't make sense now might later have adverse effects. However, I suppose the problem of her backstory can be dropped, as that won't really have too much to do with the story later.