Jayden_Allen

Alright now I'm lost, is it DANTE or DAMIAN? since it starts as Dante but suddenly becomes Damian later then back to Dante

It's uh....pretty empty

Well.....for 2 prologue chapters, its alright, not the best but definitely not worst

Rex's soul

drop the full stop after grace.

The zone he entered contains incurable diseases? if it is the zone in question it is this and if its not and Rex is talking about all the death zones then it is "these zones"

This is a little difficult to word since it depends on how you want to go about this, "Stop dreaming, kid" or "Stop dreaming kid," its just a minor difference but it depends on how you wish to go about it plus "your entire merchant group has been slaughtered and all your property is already ours, what else do you have to give us" for grammar.

You can put a comma after cornered but you can also put one after now but the most grammatically correct is after cornered.

'Well, ain't I unlucky' and the rest of this sentence feels off "I have been changing direction since so I can lose them" since so? what? I thought the rest of it was off too but after 3 rereads I just concluded the words before didn't flow right that the words after also didn't flow right but I was wrong, its right

This sounds and looks a bit of a mess of ideas thrown together but that won't get to me.........(I got up and paced in my kitchen while speaking to myself about bloodlines, rank and fighting power for 5-8 minutes, made a lot of assumptions which is bad since this has 2 chapters and immediately it started to get to me) so I will just ignore the trading, store, summoning and the map but how much do ranks, bloodlines and fighting power matter? Does having a bloodline increase fighting power even if its sole purpose is mana sensitivity, if it doesn't then what increases fighting power besides skills and the general condition of the body and its capabilities? And my biggest questions, what does rank even mean, you said you can be rank yzx but have a lower/higher fighting power so does rank matter or mean anything other than I suppose having access to stronger resources but I will assume mc will always be fighting above his rank cuz his fighting power is higher vie whatever you deem necessary for mc to win his fights like skills, bloodline skills and forbidden skills, equipment or just plot armor if you run out of ideas on how to get mc to win.