Okkay this was amazing. The google search, oh god this is a really good idea. Beginning with the scenes, the brother rivalry, the action and the drama; it's brilliant.\The character development, the plot flow is really smooth. Not much of the loopholes and my mind has started to build theories and I am eager to find out what will happen further into the book. Keep Writing <333

Wow, I love this quote from now. I am saving it

The chapter had so good descriptions. The relations between the son and the mother were perfect. The ''If I were you, I won't be grinning'' was amazing. The grammar was really good. The character development was good but the genre development lacked. As a reader and a fellow writer, I would advice to leave some hints related to the cosplayer in some chapters. Subtle hints so that readers don't forget that what was the main agenda of the story and how it started.

''There was no real use of dying here'' This line is so good

''What could make...'' here in this line the tense suddenly changed from past to present continuous so I advice writing it as ''What made...''

The way the story starts with talking about refilling things and moving boxes is really good. It makes the scene feel more real and that woman which comes, that is too good. The story moves with a good pace, not too slow and not too fast. The character of Elliot Callahan is described pretty nicely in this chapter but what I felt was that the chapter was short. Most readers don't like long chapters but the way this story starts, I would like to see more longer chapters. There were no major grammatical errors so Kudos to that!