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intakluvr

intakluvr

Lv13

Stan BTS, TXT, Seventeen, and P1harmony

2021-02-14 JointUnited States
479.4h

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9
Moments
4
  • intakluvr
    intakluvr2 years ago
    Répondu à AnnGuslavia

    Going back to the dialouge sometimes it sounds a little unnatural. Like it isn’t really what someone would say but more of a way to keep the plot moving. I was checking out your later chapters and it has gotten better, but its still a bit clunky if you know what I mean. That being said there is less swearing which is nice lol.

  • intakluvr
    intakluvr2 years ago
    Répondu à AnnGuslavia

    Proud jin, mingyu, and soobin stan 💯

  • intakluvr
    intakluvr2 years ago
    Répondu à AnnGuslavia

    I think working on writing dialogue and having proper punctuation placement would be a great place to start! And maybe a littllle less cursing as it can feel a bit excessive and unnecessary at times (Sorry for the late response, I never checked my notifs lol).

  • intakluvr
    intakluvr2 years ago
    Posté

    It has a good concept, but at the same time, the writing can feel a bit elementary. I just mean that even though it’s a story about nobility and princesses, it doesn’t sound very sophisticated.