AbysallNight

Did he ever read the books? or is he just one if those reincrantprs who have heard rumours from friends?

Tis decent start but there are alot of gramtical errors.

he supposed to be self-centred, selfish and egotistical but doesn't stick to those traits? People don't change over night it takes months if not years, even in near death situations.

Unless the father was scum? which should have been obvious, taking it to court would have easily contested the will and then there's being able to claim it if it's jointly owned which any spouse would do if they cared for one another or had kids? more so in the fact they had kids even more so in the fact its clearly publicly know supernatural incidents happening constantly through history. too many plot holes. and then some dumb excuse.

100% he's defiently has below average IQ. he got done in himself by his girlfriend. the junkyard could be alright. Sending his sister to a good or best school? takes connections and money not hard to make he literally has the ability to seduce the entirety of the female population.

have money and power*

He can though? remove plot armour and bro has it.

I have never in my live hear siblings say bro or sis, though you do you. To female or male friends sure but it's like someone calling their friends senior bother or sister like they're in soke culti novel.

Typical Idiot. The fact he has amnesia and in a world like DxD is problem magnet in itself. Ex-Herpines are problem magnets, being good looking is a potential problem magnet, trying to pursue peace whilst trying to pick up the good women out there is a problem magnet, everything he wants is a magnet for problems in itself, unless he goes and lives in a secluded dimension that nobody can access peace doesn't exist. peace is temporary, chaos is eternal he's clearly not going to start massacring everyone above 5 so that he's left alone. he needs to man up its pitiful his behaviour and a disgrace to intelligence.

This book is pain to read, none of the words flow smoothly, there's literally a bunch of convoluted info and wordings, sometimes simples better, words that describe certain things better, itll also cut doen on useless or repeated ideas. It is also, mainly just a monologue which though with truths is largely unrealistic not deducting the fact it all feels 2D. Revising chapters would be pretty good, though if you're writing purely for yourself and don't care about improving in anyway ignore everything I've said and treat it as a KW.