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DjxCarma

DjxCarma

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Hi, I'm a writher and graphic designer. I mostly write fantasy stories that allows me to comprehend what my mind wants to share with the world.

2020-10-20 JointPuerto Rico
-d

Écriture

2.3h

de la lecture

48

Lire des livres

Badges
5
Moments
38
  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Posté

    The story is a great start and shows promises that can become even greater in the future. The perspective of the story is in first person and its so well detailed and written. I hope that this story continues to see how it will progress

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Posté

    It took me awhile to read this all. Had to go back and fort to understand each moment. The story is good, but the writhing needs a few adjustments. Then there another thing that picked up my interest and was the multiple ways of the narrative going back and fort from third person to first person and it becomes too confusing from time to time. But aside from that, the story was great so far as I could tell.

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Répondu à Spartan_Wolf

    Thank you for pointing it out with your honest review. I will start the fix as soon as I can while trying to adjust the story flow around the beginning chapters.

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Posté

    To be honest, the story is alright, but it is hard to notice the dialogue in some chapters. The narrative has a good flow, and each character has their moments to shine. How the story goes off from the start seems like a quest guide on what’s the current aim for the mc to achieve. Aside from that, some sections amongst the chapters could have used a lot of work, but it is still a good story to read.

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Répondu à 3R_Milamores

    There are two parts that I liked in this chapter that made me like it completely. The first around the exercise bit while the second is around when the mc got captured, adding more plot into the story. / Hay dos partes que me gustaron en este capítulo que me hicieron gustar por completo. El primero alrededor del en el momento de ejercicio, mientras que el segundo es alrededor de cuando el protagonita fue capturado, agregando más trama a la historia.

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Posté

    With honesty. The story is fantastic, and I enjoyed reading it. Please keep up the great work and don’t stop writhing. The story starting out from a vr game is truly interesting and I can’t wait for the character development.

    Ce livre a été supprimé.
  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Commenté

    Loved this chapter and I will still keep reading

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Commenté

    Ima have to go with the answer A and D for that question. The people around us that we do live with is what defines us at some point. Even to our neighbors, friends or even distant relatives.

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma2 years ago
    Posté

    Dear author, I must say that u have done a great job once again in making an excellent story. Keep up the great work and one day we will see this book alongside many others at the top.

  • DjxCarma
    DjxCarma3 years ago
    Répondu à Mel_Aniv

    I shall give my support. I'm sorry if I didn't respond in the moment this message got to me.

    Ce livre a été supprimé.