SadPoortato529

Lv2

Sad, poor and mostly exhausted https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KDSRYHT/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=nephilim+new+dawn&qid=1601445640&sr=8-1

2020-06-25 JointVietnam

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SadPoortato5294 years ago
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You could add in a bit discription between character's dialogues to spice things up a bit, what the uncle's doing, his facial expressions, his gestures, ect, then a bit about the main character's reaction, not just telling your readers what she's thinking, but also what she's feeling
"First of all, you lack defensive equipment. All you have is a white blouse and a black skirt. Second, you don't seem to be carrying any weapon at all. You'd be hard-pressed to look for any job at the Guild at your current state. Even if you successfully registered." Uncle Hubert is right. I haven't got any proper equipment for my adventure. If only that mischievous goddess at least gave me proper clothing... Wait, speaking of her. I asked her for a Holy Sword! But where the heck is it!? When I woke up in this world, I didn't see it next to me nor near the place I woke up from. S-she tricked me!
It got Reuploaded
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