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Almond_eyes_692yrRépondu à lifesketcherI see
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé.- Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
Oversee an event the system could manage... Missing punctuation
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
suddenly, a Golden, floating door... I don't think you need a comma in Golden,< right?
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
and right now, he did not want to miss this opportunity >>> and right now he didn't want to miss this opportunity
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrRépondu à lifesketcher
That's great!. Also sorry, I realized that I sounded a bit rude there
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
Or else me writing here is useless
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
I hope the author reads comments
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
Also the choice of the mc is too sudden and a little illogical making it feel forced
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
"He MUST hire... "I've seen this happening a mile away. Author the plot is too predictable which ruins my experience and everybody else
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Again he's not asking
"Wait, what? I lost a level? Damn it. System home page." I asked. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
That's not asking
"Use the memory skill on this skill book, Kun Peng Myriad Transformations." I asked. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
Can we stop the "twitching lip" thing? its getting waaay to repetitive
Lex's lips twitched once again at the heavy criticism, but he had come to expect it now. Why was the system so much more annoying than Mary? She was so cute and adorable, the system should be more like her. - Almond_eyes_692yrCommenté
In your- missing word
Ce paragraphe a été supprimé. - Almond_eyes_692yrRépondu à as_ss
Come on mate, it's a joke
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