Jasdidion_Purger
Écriture
de la lecture
58
Lire des livres
I will redo this later. The hook though decent can be revised to make it better.
Amazing First Paragraph! It’s already showing how well one knows his visual detailing in writing. The sensory detail is phenomenal, I can feel everything and hear it too… that may also be my overactive imagination though, haha.
He has experience and the realization of knowing he can edit chapters. So he can go back and add more detail or fix stuff. Dude has a great first chapter, let alone paragraph. It hooked me instantly.
ありがとう
Tap