William_Claw

you cant dumb that down to inspiration. you are just trying to justify plagiarism. this is plagiarism. It is not nearly different enough to only be considered inspiration. he even had the nerve to nearly word for word copy the original (very unique) title, with only 1 word swapped out. swapping names and writing the same story is plagiarism. that is what this essentially is. swapping lizard for spider. if everything else is the same, it is plagiarism. even if he did a crappy rewrite, it is at best a fanfic. not something he should try to earn money from.

when i wrote this was unaware that these were structured premade games with set rules and scenarios. i have now delved into the rabbit hole myself.

author got spammed by 1 star reviews for some strange reason, and the novel definitely doesnt deserve to be tanked like that. while not perfect, the author puts a lot of thought into it. noticeable grammar and spelling mistakes are rare. he can kind of get lost in monologues of thoughts and plans sometimes, and they can be repetitious at times, and i find myself skipping most of the "future jump" plans and "perk" descriptions, as the author spends way too much time talking in circles about them. and rehashing why those random perks have an effect. it is annoying as the list of his choices isnt explicitly given initially, so he just rehashes all of his applicable perks everytime an event happens that include them, and it reads kind of dry in those moments because of that. i would suggest making the reader aware of the perks at the beginning of the jump. just knowing the perks ahead of time, and just making the decisions without re-explaining his reasoning and how the perks function again and again would be better. other than that it is a promising start to a jumpchain, and i am looking forward to more, assuming it isnt dropped.

dang, guess i caught up

the choice doesnt actually make you beholden to one or the other, though most people stick with it. the only thing it decides is who you kill in the very beginning, and who owns the house on the way to whiterun that they stop at. after that you can pick chat options to not commit to either until you are ready. until then you are considered neutral. whoever you kill doesnt count as a crime, as there are no witnesses that matter, and crimes are keyed to cities, and that city is no more.

guy doesnt know what no social life means...

higjschool has very little bearing on your fiture, assuming you learn enough to get through sat's with a good enough score to get into college. even if you dont, you can still het into college if you want to. hell you could fail highschool and still go to college, there are methods for those who want to. no one looks at your highschool grades for employment, and even in college no one cares after being accepted.

he should probably start with airsoft rather than bb. it can still make you bleed up close

what is the point of a junpchain if you start off with all the abilities before ever making a junp? the whole point is to get abilities from the jumps themselves. if you just get handed power, then it is redundant. just get a power up from whatever deity and call it a day at that point right? perks as rewards for accomplishments is one thing, getting so many bonuses prior to a single jump is strangem the point in making a "safe" first jump is to avoid danger while not having powers from previous jumps. just my rant. still reading though, not too big of a deal, just a minor annoyance.