Written by a fourteen year old with English as a second or third language. I’m just guessing here but if I had to put my money on something it would be that.

Whatever helps you sleep at night but it will help me keep reading if you “burden” me with some more emotion/expression I don’t mind a stroke victim as a main character but you should at least tell me. Also this is obviously sort of nitpicking and the rest of the writing is good so far I’m enjoying what you’re doing and will follow your story with interest ;)

Pls let Lu qingyun have a different expression. A “bitter smile” is all he has shown. Maybe he’s a stroke victim or something but pls there are other ways to display emotions. Or just don’t tell me what his face looked like at all I’d prefer that over hearing he had a “bitter smile” one more time.

Somehow the writing keeps getting worse

Somehow I forgot to mention that the majority of the book is shameless plagiarism anywhere from similar plot points to literally verbatim dialogue in the same exact scenario from other better books well verbatim if this author could fucking spell or type in complete sentences

I feel as though an author reviewing their own work shouldn’t be allowed but hey who am I right.

TLDR~ read it if it’s ever free and/or you’re the type of psychopath that doesn’t mind MTL (the story isn’t MTL its just jacked up) It’s like someone MTL’d the story and then the MTL missed some words so someone edited the word in phonetically even though it’s spelled correctly a few sentences later and at the same time the person who edited has English as a second or fifteenth language and when adjusting phrases and metaphors it’s as if they heard it once and tried to repeat it but jumbled it up and there is random and jarring breaks in the flow of proper grammar and diction so it’s not as bad as most MTL but you have to “autocorrect” a lot as you read and it feels like in some interactions whole sentences are just missing or there’s not enough info for the reader to understand why people react or say the way and things they do or maybe it made sense in the authors head and they didn’t review what they wrote properly idk and for the love of god please author find a better way to do exposition it’s like an elementary schooler was just introduced to the concept to put it as politely as possible it does not suspend my disbelief in the least the story and world have potential and my review is harsh but only because you have to pay to read this…… like the grammar in this review is dogshit its just one big run-on sentence but hey its free so idk maybe as your trying to figure out how to fucking write you shouldn’t be charging people for the luxury of consuming your hot garbage that being said I did purchase all the chapters up to 200 to give it a fair shake and to be fair it was amusing to a degree 1.2/10 would not recommend highly (unless free read)[img=recommend]

It’s a fairly decent novel just for no reason out of nowhere the translation started messing with the names of the realms and every chapter a cultivation realm would be a different name golden core became foundation establishment Mahayana was celestial immortal for a while etc etc and that really takes you out of it as you read the internal logic of the story was still the same but the names are all messed up

See this! I just gifted the story: Pizza

in·vo·lu·tion /ˌinvəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n/ noun 1. PHYSIOLOGY the shrinkage of an organ in old age or when inactive, e.g. of the uterus after childbirth. 2. MATHEMATICS a function, transformation, or operator that is equal to its inverse, i.e. which gives the identity when applied to itself. For the love of god use a different word please I’m on my knees right now I’ll start to get into it a bit and then see “involution” that word does not mean what you think it means and it hurts my soul

See this! I just gifted the story: Pizza

You don’t have to state something seven times in a row we get it he made it to the realm and it makes him on par with elders etc i don’t need the reference for his power scaling to be said a dozen times before I understand he might have improved his cultivation

Nobodies mentioning it so I’m going to. This story suffers in only one way and that’s the social interactions. They feel very childlike and basic. Also the mc has some annoying traits as far as social interactions go and it’s off putting. Otherwise it’s a decent read.

Not to beat a dead horse but I already grabbed my baseball bat. It’s an ok and enjoyable story. There is better but if you already read better then I’d understand why you would read this to scratch that itch. However the *this randomly named country that isnt china no really bro trust me see it’s not actually called china is better then everyone else and everything should be done in the name of this country it’s definitely not a pseudo cult about how amazing china is no really bro trust me I whipe my ass with the rest of the world and other major countries that definitely aren’t stand ins for real world countries no really bro trust me china number one I mean definitely not china is number one I eat sleep breath and shit for the greater good of the nation* gets pretty fucking old. If you can ignore that, then it’s ok. Otherwise it’s a 1 star from me because *definitely not china* is number one.

10 gold per meal on average. A chef makes 100 gold a month. His meals cost him ~300 gold a month. What. What is this nonsense. And if it’s the average cost of a NOBLES meal then why would he care. So you are telling me the average MEAL for a commoner is 10 gold. What. What is this nonsense. In a KINGDOM with a population of only twenty thousand. What. What is this nonsense. This is such an easy fix. Up the population to like 2million and make the meal for a commoner 10 copper or whatever. Seriously you can’t have this infrastructure politically and physically with 20k people that just nonsense.

Six tubes six guns six barrels six dogs six holes unfortunately first forty chapters are a bit of a bait and the translation quality goes downhill quick it wouldn’t be so bad except it becomes damn inconsistent with its own descriptions and names you can tell who most people are when they talk but everyone has a new name every chapter the mc has been six of a thousand things still readable I suppose but not something to be spending money on if no effort to edit it is going to be made and there are whispers of places where money is not a requirement for novels like this ;)

Uhh its not good and the only reason im posting this is because if the author thinks that this novel is worth 10-18 credits a chapter that is just absurd. Basic grammar errors and very basic and easily proofread mistakes is not worth anyones well earned paycheck. The story does not suspend my disbelief. The story also falls to the same “i have lived for thousands of years but im gonna act mentally defecient even though im supposed to be very old and wise” trap that usually is more common place in cultivation novels. Pro tip to the author your characters will never be more intelligent then you so try to find a way to “trick” or give the “illusion” of intelligence to your characters dont say they are intellegent or have other people react to basic problem solving in awe or make everyone else incapable of basic deduction its just off putting.

Okay so there is a boatload of potential here. And not much else. The two main areas it suffers is dialogue and general progression. Character interactions are just clunky and awkward and emotions are sorta all over the place. Story progression is awful and rushed. 15 years in 20 odd chapters which makes all these characters who are supposedly important to the MC just one dimensional awkward filler. You’ll notice anyone of any significance in any Way to the MC is killed off, side lined, or a convoluted plot progressor that ends up not making any sense if given more than a millisecond of thought because the author made the MC a litteral god. Potential; not much else.

Okay it mostly boils down to two main issues. 1: The writing is awful. I am referring to grammar and spelling. 2: It premiums at 20 chapters. This limits any insights into most all categories in the review so I defualt to low ratings because in the first twenty chalters nothing is given out which makes this story worth buying more chapters except the genre itself. In fact there is the aforementioned poor writing which makes you think twice about EVER giving the story your money. TL;DR : Dont waste Your time on an early premium story with poor writing unless you have absolutely nothing else to spend fast passes on. 1.8/5

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola