Bad_Thiliono

Just painful how close it comes to being good but manages at every turn to make itself fall flat. Some reviews already touched on this but I’m going to list them out and counter some genuinely baffling praise this work is getting. The writing, grammar wise, is amateurish. Although I have read much worse on this site. After the introduction the story starts when the mc is five. 170 chapters later he is 8. WTF. Has the author ever met a young child. We don’t even develop an ability to properly understand sarcasm and irony in speech outside of recognizing tone patterns until we are about eleven twelevish. The story is dragging with word count garbage filler and nothing actually happens. You can comfortably skip whole chapters and miss nothing critical to anything. The names of chapters spoil the chapters. The characters are very one dimensional and inconsistent sometimes they feel forced to fit some role the author came up with for them but didn’t properly write them into. The author has apparently no idea if they want people to know the MC is strong or not so we get this weird dance of ‘oh he revealed himself but not really but everyone is gonna be brain dead and not realize he’s strong’ and ‘oh I can smell a molecule shift on the other side of the planet which helped me deduce that he is in fact a genius and has much potential/mystery/edge lord stuff going on’. Did I mention they are all pre pubescent children? Like why. That is an intentional decision by the author for no dsicernable reason. Just time skip for gods sake just a bit I beg you everytime I read their age it takes me out of what’s happening. Make something progress. Anything at all. The time the story the interpersonal relationships anything I beg you please author. ALSO THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF THIS STORY IS 10X RETURN BUT IT BARELY EVER HAPPENS AND IS INCREDIBLY INCONSISTENT WITH NO DISCERNIBLE STRUCTURE OR RULES. Just a deus ex shity excuse to make random power jumps. Feels like the author regrets using that initially and is just riding the tiger now. There are more things I’ve ranted enough you get the picture.

Written by a fourteen year old with English as a second or third language. I’m just guessing here but if I had to put my money on something it would be that.

Whatever helps you sleep at night but it will help me keep reading if you “burden” me with some more emotion/expression I don’t mind a stroke victim as a main character but you should at least tell me. Also this is obviously sort of nitpicking and the rest of the writing is good so far I’m enjoying what you’re doing and will follow your story with interest ;)

Pls let Lu qingyun have a different expression. A “bitter smile” is all he has shown. Maybe he’s a stroke victim or something but pls there are other ways to display emotions. Or just don’t tell me what his face looked like at all I’d prefer that over hearing he had a “bitter smile” one more time.

Somehow the writing keeps getting worse

Somehow I forgot to mention that the majority of the book is shameless plagiarism anywhere from similar plot points to literally verbatim dialogue in the same exact scenario from other better books well verbatim if this author could fucking spell or type in complete sentences

I feel as though an author reviewing their own work shouldn’t be allowed but hey who am I right.

TLDR~ read it if it’s ever free and/or you’re the type of psychopath that doesn’t mind MTL (the story isn’t MTL its just jacked up) It’s like someone MTL’d the story and then the MTL missed some words so someone edited the word in phonetically even though it’s spelled correctly a few sentences later and at the same time the person who edited has English as a second or fifteenth language and when adjusting phrases and metaphors it’s as if they heard it once and tried to repeat it but jumbled it up and there is random and jarring breaks in the flow of proper grammar and diction so it’s not as bad as most MTL but you have to “autocorrect” a lot as you read and it feels like in some interactions whole sentences are just missing or there’s not enough info for the reader to understand why people react or say the way and things they do or maybe it made sense in the authors head and they didn’t review what they wrote properly idk and for the love of god please author find a better way to do exposition it’s like an elementary schooler was just introduced to the concept to put it as politely as possible it does not suspend my disbelief in the least the story and world have potential and my review is harsh but only because you have to pay to read this…… like the grammar in this review is dogshit its just one big run-on sentence but hey its free so idk maybe as your trying to figure out how to fucking write you shouldn’t be charging people for the luxury of consuming your hot garbage that being said I did purchase all the chapters up to 200 to give it a fair shake and to be fair it was amusing to a degree 1.2/10 would not recommend highly (unless free read)[img=recommend]

It’s a fairly decent novel just for no reason out of nowhere the translation started messing with the names of the realms and every chapter a cultivation realm would be a different name golden core became foundation establishment Mahayana was celestial immortal for a while etc etc and that really takes you out of it as you read the internal logic of the story was still the same but the names are all messed up

See this! I just gifted the story: Pizza