stupid mc

I don't think they can read thoughts like breathing, you make it sound like ho magic....

so we have a wannabe batman with a clown fetish.... ya if I hadn't said the mc is fkd up I am saying it now

you need a mc like Delkatar Veil, now he would swim like a shark in your setting, if you don't know him google and read a story or 3

alter ego is just stupid for a sith and not having a mask that's sealed to the environment is again stupid. it's like the mc thinks he's in a vr game playing a wannabe dark hero it's just stupid with the Star Wars genre. go back and write about marvel, this pos of a mc would fit right in there. not to be harsh, but the mc sucks and is a simp.... not his fault though.... it's how you made him

sleepy cosby.... should have called it rohipnol if your are naming it after him lol

the gimp mc is getting annoying and ruining a good story build.

why give a detailed description when there are idiots like you here. Just read it yourself

sigh, it's getting boring. you shoukd of just put a jedi temple on earth since you refuse to leave it....

eat chocolate it will make you live forever

was a cool mc bit you are turning him into generic jedi 234 and nerfing his healing abilities

just kill the sister off pleases

so isn't the dark mark souk bound, so cutting it off won't work

how tf is she texting, and why tf are you even putting stuff like that in a story, it makes no sense.

forgot how stupid this was with the mc making himself blund

sad ho isn't shocked by any of the revelations just acts like it's another day. so what if an old man had me raised to accept being a martyr for the greater good, pash no biggy

rough chapter

I'm curious when the story is leaving Earth. I am guessing I am not the only person who is here for Star Wars, not to rehash the whole Marvel universe.

use some kind of force bs to be able to touch her