This story has okay grammar and pretty good spelling. The dialogue is wonky but ultimately it’s fine. I have a problem with the story but this is an AU so if changes from canon don’t bother you it’ll probably be fine for you. My problem is in canon Voldemort graduated and spent several years working as a clerk for a rundown shop in Knockturn alley because he was a half-blood with little prospects. After he killed his boss and stole two founder’s artifacts he spent several years traveling the world until in his late 20s he tried to apply for the DADA position and was refused by Dumbledore who suspected him of the aforementioned murder. After this he started making friends and building up his organization out of pure blood bigots. He was in his 50s by the time he had enough pull in the Wizard world to really begin to change things to the way he wanted and it wasn’t until his mid 50s that the blood war began. He was defeated in his 60s by baby Harry. Here in this story Tom somehow has enormous amounts of influence over the lords of the wizengamot. Keep in mind he is still attending Hogwarts and most of the pure bloods actually think he is a muggleborn. He just magically made them ignore the fact that he is a mudblood and have all decided to follow him? Canon makes sense because politics and networking takes time to build up and here it’s just hand waved away. The lack of believability here really hurts this story in my opinion.