Kyse_98

4.11 is that like a dwarf? just asking because I'm 6.4 and that seemed too low

That switch from first person to a third person narrator is really strange

maybe he had no way of getting guns before, couse it's china

what's this player thing supposed to mean?

where is he from?

I'm liking the story so i'll give you 5 stars as an incentive. Keep working harder on it and you'll have great success.

Hmm my only suggestion would be that you differentiate when he's dreaming and when he's in the real world so it doesn't get confusing. otherwise everything's ok

Nice start and the story seems interesting keep working on it, I'll definitely keep an eye on it.

the normal amount was 15kg he increased 5kg as punishment

yeah, it just means the previous environment wasn't favourable for their growth or for them to show their abilities.