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Warhammer 40K/HP The Warp Debacle

Cast into the warp in the dying days of the 41st millennium. Harry fights to return to the wizarding world and the challenges beyond. - Enjoy a slippery descent into Madness - _______________________________________ Reviews and any spare power stones would be appreciated - No smut or harem degeneracy The trademarks, IP and characters relied upon are owned by their respective organisations, only the AU characters are my own. This fanfiction is not monetised.

Descentofpotential · Films
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48 Chs

Chp 29: Sorting the Savior

Looking out of the train he saw the tiny dark platform in front of him, lit only by the bright moonlight above.

Sacking his trunk down onto the platform, he jumped down onto the platform athletically, the very last person out of the train after he waited for the girls to get changed first.

"Ow, how would you like to be thrown onto a platform" complained Calcifer.

"Oh I'm sorry, oh powerful fire daemon did that bump give you a boo boo" savaged Adam back.

Picking up his trunk he rushed towards the direction of the boats Daphne and Tracy had walked towards. When he arrived all the boats had already pushed off the bank by some unseen force and were moving into fog bank ahead.

Sliding his trunk onto the boat he crammed into the tiny space remaining at the back of the small boat, having to stand up calfs pressed up against the stern of the boat to fit in as his trunk took up almost the entire length of the boat.

'This boat is so small how did they all fi ---whooaa', the boat moving by itself almost caused him to fall out as the directional force folded him into a sitting position outside of the boat.

Pulling himself up core burning he flipped the other way half lying on his trunk bent at the waist.

The boat passed quietly through the murky black water the gentle lake waves lapping against it's side.

Faintly through the gloom he heard a shout of 'mind ya ed' from an unknown voice.

A few minutes later the boat pulled into the underground boat house. Stepping off it with his trunk trailing behind him Adam followed the wet trail footsteps up a spiral staircase knocking every corner and step on the way up with his trunk, before dragging it across a large hallway and up two flights of stairs to see the backs of a gaggle of first years like himself entering the great hall.

'Shit' he said noticing the distinct lack of trunks, quickly he laid his trunk unconspiciously behind a plinth around the corner from the main entranceway before, run-walking to catch up with the rest of his peers.

Fixing his collar, he stepped through the giant doorway just after the last first year had crossed it.

"How many flights of stairs does this place have" .

~ Entry into the great hall by John Williams ~

On either side of him were two long medieval style hardwood tables stretching the length of the hall filled almost to the brim with students, with an almost linear increase in height as his eyes wondered down the tables lengths.

Far above hung hundreds of candles backdropped by a starry night behind which the faint outlines of the arches further above were just about visible to Adam.

'Wait along here please'.

The line ahead came to a halt in front of a raised wooden dais and plinth.

'Now, before we begin Professor Dumbldore would like to say a few words' said a matronly looking curt Scottish lady adorned in rich green robes and a witches hat.

Up on the raised dais sat another table horizontal in orientation where a number of staff were sitting.

'I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce ... The first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students' spoke an aged and wizened wizard who looked much like Gandalf, but who wore robes resembling, flamboyant loungeware.

"We're so checking it out" said Calcifer cheekily.

'Also our caretaker Mr Flilch, has asked me to remind you that the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death ... Thank you' said the Gandalf lookalike pointing to an unpleasant looking man stood at the back of the hallway. Though Adam as close as he was could even smell the man from where he was standing.

"Ogryns balls he stinks".

"Calm down, your smells not normal and more importantly the old man just said that to a room full of children, I know daemons less devious, that's practically an invitation perading as a warning" said Calcifer.

'Now when I call your name, you will come forth and then I will place the sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses' said the Scottish older woman.

'Hermione Granger'

'Me? Oh no… okay, relax' said Hermione walking towards the front of the crowd.

As the Scottish lady placed the hat on her head its mouth began to move.

'Hum, right, okay…. '

'Gryffindor'!

' Yes! I like Gryffindor'.

(Applause)

'Draco Malfoy!'

'I hate Gryffindor, I want Slytherin' said Draco under his breath.

As the sorting hat was placed down it immediately shouted.

'Slytherin'!

(Applause).

'Ronald Weasley'!

The boy nervously walked up 'Ahhh, another Weasley, I know…. Gryffindor'!

(Applause).

----

Harry Potter! said the Scottish woman eyes widening.

A few whispers were heard on the tables but not much more than for the other students.

On the other hand on the teachers table, a number of teachers were going into shock, Hagrid was full on weeping, Snape's face was contorting between happiness and hate, whilst Dumbledore looked lost for the first time in his life, and Filius was hopping up and down in his seat in excitement like a five year old toddler.

Adam didn't move.

'Harry Potter!' called out the lady a little louder in her Scottish drawl.

"Adam, I think that's you, remember H.Potter on the letter".

'Har-'!

"Ah".

'Sorry ... Excuse me, coming through, move-' said Adam pushing through the reduced but still full throng of children ahead of him.

Finally reaching the head of the pack, he looked up at the Scottish woman who was clutching the scroll of names so tightly her knuckles had gone white.

"Just keep walking, just keep walking" said Calcifer in a singsong tone.

Spinning his body round he flipped into the chair crossing one leg over the other waiting for something to happen.

'...'.

The hat scrunched up its face like it was doing a shit, a second passed then two, then ten.

'Orgghh, you have to let me in' said the Hat out loud.

"Oh no - gotta go" said Calcifer making herself scarce.

'What do you mean let you in'.

'Lower your occulamancy shields they're redicolous' replied the hat.

'Oh my mental shields, na ah ain't happening'.

'I need to read your memories to sort you into a house'.

'I like my privacy' said Adam under his breath.

'I'm physically unable to share them with anyone'.

'Hmmm, pinky swear'.

'What the ... sure ... I guess' replied the hat looking kinda confused.

'Its your funeral' said Adam, opening a sliver in his defences for the hat to pass through.

"Ah that's better than you young man those are the strongest defences I have ever seen there's almost no reason why you'd possibly need shields that stro- OH God, AAAAAHH, what am I seeing, daemons, of no there's worse, shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit, fucking fuck" screamed the hat in his mind.

The hats mouth steamed as the hats folds contorted in fear.

Adam felt the hat quickly leave the space where his memories were stored and join him on the surface plane where Calcifer and Adam tended to hang out.

"If I was still alive that would have melted my brain" said the Hat panting audibly in his mind.

"I did warn you" said Adam

"Not enough, now ... the question remains where to sort you, so very hard, you're not traditionally courageous, but you've learnt to suppress and overcome fear, whilst you take to violence like a fish to water ... you take no joy in it, you do whatever you desire but you take no pleasure in it, nor seek power, you constantly adapt to your situation but never change who you are or rely on another, you learn ravenously but have no interest in knowledge for knowledges sake, quite the enigma".

"I mean in the warp acting like a human usually gets you killed so you learn not to, Kaldors much better than me" replied Adam.

"But the complete repression of basic human emotion means none of the house are right for you, you have no fundmental qualities ... so very hard ... If I can't sort you based on what you yourself are, I can only sort you based on what you lack most ... friendship.

Adam cringed visibly.

~ Fairytale Theme Tune by Yasuharu ~

'It better be - Hufflepuff!!!' screamed the hat to the applause of the Hufflepuff table and a raised eyebrow from Dumbledore

----

Sitting with the rest of the puffs Adam looked around the nervous faces of his peers as food appeared on the table out of thin air.

'That needs investigating'.

Across from him sat two girls one was a slightly chubby ginger girl and the other the inverse a slightly gaunt strawberry blond girl.

'Hi' said Adam.

'Hi' said the girl across raising a hand.

'I'm Adam' said Adam pushing through the awkwardness extending his hand.

'Uh Susan ... Susan Bones' said Susan a she softly shook his hand.

'Hannah' said the blond. Adam offered a smile back at her.

'Why did the hat smoke, looked kinda dangerous' butted in a weasley looking boy with blond almost white hair, like a B-grade Draco.

"I think all the platinum blonds need to go on a hit list" said Calcifer.

"It's almost like you're in my head and have my heart Calcifer, Sirius's presents are going to be used up fast aren't they".

Hiding the internal sneer in his face Adam smiled at Earnie

'Um ..'.

'Earnie' said Earnie giving Adam his name.

'Well Ear--' Adam almost jumped out of his skin when something rose out of his meat pie belly first.

Reacting rather than thinking Adam's hands lengthened into claws under the table.

'Oooooowhoowhwowooo' laughed the ghost as it ascended into the air above.

'Its the fat friar' said another Hufflepuff who looked like he ran on a treadmill and sparkled.

----

That evening Adam was lying down in the shared dormitory absolutely stewing.

"I can't stand these people already they're all just so ... Meh I guess".

"Like soggy wet wipes, insufferably friendly" replied Calcifer egging on the shit talking.

"They even have bloody night lights in here, how am I supposed to sleep" said Adam complaining about the firefly filled lanterns trailing the earthen toned ceilings crisscrossed by circular hobbit like arches.

"Let's go check out the forest then" said Calcifer sneaking the comment in.

"On my first day, no the headmasters explicitly said not to".

"Come on I'm sure it's cute compared to any where in the warp".

"I guess, I am going a little rusty, Kaldor did say the only way to practice close quarters combat is to do close combat".

Not having put up much resistance he slid softly to the floor, and then tiptoed to the window of the room which watched over a rolling meadow filing up the horizon, before slowly sliding the latch down and channeling the warp to stretch his bones out as he pushed through the small window just wider than his head.

POP

Coming out the other side he stood up with a grin, his bones cracking as they reformed and bulked up along with his muscles, making him look like more like a seventh year than a first.

'Hell to the fuck yeah'.

Hope you enjoyed the extra long chapter, I'm am now forcing myself to rewatch the movies, read the books and replay Hogwarts legacy as a Hufflepuff for you lovely folks. Also I'm going to do my best but I'm starting the BPC in the UK today and it's an intense course meaning, my upload rates going to go down a bit going forward unfortunately, any support on the Patreon would be appreciated as it would allow me to justify spending more time on this novel.

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