webnovel

Utopian System

Auteur: Dagzo
Fantastique
Actuel · 1M Affichage
  • 516 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.8
    19 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

"Mana to breathe, mana to eat, mana to fucking live," Inhale: -0.001 MP… oops! You're out of mana points. (Pay-to-breathe RPG.) Humanity's last walled stronghold. _____ In the world Elio lives, every gasp of air comes at a price. A floating indestructible book for every human, a magical system that turns survival into a pay-to-breathe RPG. Here, poverty isn't just being broke, it's choking. Surrounded by barren land and a sea of monsters on top of it (No water, just literal monsters), each day is a suffocating dance of survival, a balancing act between mana for air and mana for food. In this economy, holding your breath isn't just a game, it's a retirement plan. Driven by desperation (and the city's miserly rulers that don’t cut anyone a break), Elio dives into the Book System’s trials to save his family. Along the way, he unlocks powers he didn’t ask for and starts to figure out... Who he really is. Immerse yourself in an adventure where one young man's stubborn refusal to become a statistic could spark a revolution. Who knew being a pain in the system's rear could change the world? Because in Elio's world, breathing is just the beginning of the revolution and... he's gasping for change. But hey, who said saving the world had to be all doom and gloom? Join Elio as he kicks monster butt, uncovers ancient secrets, and maybe, just maybe, figures out how to grow a tree or two along the way. __________ Warning: May contain traces of world domination, an unhealthy obsession with the periodic table, damage points, progression math, and yes, even a sprinkle of that old "power of friendship" magic. Because sometimes, you need a buddy to help you remember which element does what or even help you calculate those sweet, sweet stats. A quick heads-up: Despite what the cover might suggest, this isn’t a hack-and-slash adventure. Think more along the lines of a turn-based RPG, where strategy and choices matter as much as action. Get ready for a different kind of challenge! If you want to know more about the cover: Yep, that's our first FL crying and crossing the transparent barrier straight into a pixelated, indistinguishable sea of monsters. Because why not mix emotions with chaos? She's crazy like that! (Not really... or is she?) Discord to check the visuals: https://discord.gg/W3CjfC2cw4 I’m still working on it in the little moments I find between writing, editing, making more character images, etc. Little by little, we’ll have a Poked... uh, a full SummonDex! Meanwhile, you can check out the ones on Fandom with their... funny descriptions? Or at least I hope so... orz __________ Happy New Year! I just wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for all your incredible support. This journey wouldn’t be the same without each of you, and I’m beyond thankful to have you here. May this new year bring you joy, success, and all the things you’re hoping for. Here’s to a brighter future! Thank you for being part of this story. Cheers to 2025! Thank you so much for reading! (∿°○°)∿ ︵ ︵ ︵ ︵ ︵ ǝʌol

Étiquettes
10 étiquettes
Chapter 1Chapter 1: System's Book

"Everything has a cost: food, clothing, hygiene, information, and even the air I breathe. Unfortunately, I don't have access to the currency needed to pay for all that... Mana."

♢♢♢♢

Elio awoke with a violent spasm...

His back arched on the straw pallet that served as his bed.

His nails clawed at the rough fabric, seeking something to hold onto as his body convulsed in search of air. His mouth opened in a silent scream, eyes bulging in the dim light of the room.

There was no oxygen in the air... Almost none.

His lungs contracted painfully, as if a thousand needles were piercing them.

Elio rolled over, falling to the floor with a dull thud.

The impact against the indestructible stone floor barely registered; the pain in his chest eclipsed everything else.

'I'm going to die,' he thought, gasping frantically, his mind clouded by panic. 'This time it's the end. I can't... I can't...'

His hands moved on the floor in search of something, anything that could save him. The ringing in his ears intensified, and black spots danced in his vision.

Each second was an eternity of agony.

'Calm down, damn it!' shouted a voice in his head, surprisingly clear amidst the chaos. 'You've been through this a thousand times!'

With superhuman effort, Elio forced his body to stay still. He closed his eyes, ignoring the burning in his lungs, the feeling that his chest was about to explode.

He inhaled slowly, painfully, making every tiny particle of oxygen count.

The pain was unbearable. It felt as if he were breathing liquid fire. But he continued, one breath after another, slow and deliberate.

'It hurts,' he thought, tears running down his cheeks. 'It hurts so much. Why? Why do we have to live like this?'

Gradually, agonizingly, his breathing stabilized. The pain didn't disappear, it never really did, but it became manageable, a familiar torment he had learned to live with.

"Today's the day," he murmured to himself, his voice barely a whisper in the silent room. "The day when everything changes... or the day when everything ends."

Today, finally, he would breathe without pain... or stop breathing forever.

♢♢♢♢

Elio sat up slowly on the floor, his body trembling from the effort.

He closed his eyes, remembering the long nights when his father talked to him about the wall, the System's Book, the challenges, the secrets hidden in its pages. Back then, his eyes had sparkled with curiosity, eager to learn, to discover.

Now, he only felt a void in his stomach.

The curiosity he once felt for the System, for the secrets his father had enthusiastically shared, had now transformed into a well of bitterness and resentment.

A wave of rage washed over him, so intense that for a moment he forgot the pain in his chest.

"Damn you, fath… you," he whispered, his voice laden with bitterness. "You condemned us all with your stupid heroism."

With superhuman effort, he stood up. Every movement was agony. But he forced himself to move, to prepare for the day ahead.

It was his last day at the community school, a place where young people devoured the information left by God before facing the System's Book.

God had put them here, had given them this cage, this 'protection' in this horrible infested world.

Memories of his father mingled with the day's lessons:

"Oxygen, son, is the key to life," his father's voice resonated in his mind, overlapping with that of the teacher explaining complex mathematical formulas.

"What's the point of knowing this?" Elio muttered, earning a reproachful look from Micah, his classmate.

The hours passed between differential equations and tales of other worlds, stories that once fascinated Elio but now seemed like a cruel mockery.

All the information God left was like this, either too complex or utterly useless.

"Did you know that in some worlds, air is so abundant that no one even thinks about it?" his father had once said, his eyes shining with childlike curiosity.

Now, those words only fueled the bitterness in Elio's heart.

As classes ended, he met up with Zara and Micah.

"Ready for the challenge?" Zara asked, her voice mixing excitement and fear.

Elio nodded curtly. "I'll see you at the library. Now... I must say goodbye to my mother."

♢♢♢♢

The air was dense and stale inside the small room where Elio and his family huddled together...

But this was the best time to breathe. The best air of the day.

His mother, Lena, swayed exhausted after having spent most of her 10 mana points on some food and generating the oxygen they all breathed.

Lena collapsed to the floor, drained. Elio felt a surge of frustration seeing the woman he loved so much reduced to this pitiful state.

All because of his father...

Despite her extreme thinness and gaunt face, her eyes shone with determination when she looked at her children.

She still loved that idiot who played the hero.

His father had fallen at the wall, saving some nobody from being a victim of a monster attack.

Elio clenched his fists, remembering the day they told them his progenitor had sacrificed the family in an attempt at heroism. What good did it do that he had reached level 3 in the System Book? Worse yet, why had he considered him his hero when he was little? He had condemned them to a life of misery and deprivation.

The measly daily point of mana for compensation did almost nothing to help.

"Elio, come here," his mother called him in a tired voice.

He approached reluctantly, sitting down next to her. Lena gave him a weak smile and took his hand in hers, rough and cracked.

She squeezed Elio's hand firmly, despite her weariness. "Today is a special day, son. Not only because you will receive your System Book," she said, her voice soft but filled with hope. "It is an opportunity to improve our lives. Always remember your father's sacrifice and fight for your future."

Elio snorted, unable to hide his bitterness. "How am I going to improve anything with no weapon, even if I live, then… By being locked away 10 years in the army? If I die, will you do with another measly mana point? We don't even have enough resources to buy decent food, but I suppose 12 daily points and my absence are just what this family needs to stop starving!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Elio regretted them.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking away. "I didn't mean to..."

His mother's eyes darkened for an instant, but then shone with a determination Elio knew well. It was like that whenever she spoke of his father...

"I've been saving," Lena said, taking a small mana crystal out of her pocket. "One hundred points, all I could gather in these 2 years."

Elio gaped at her, staring at the valuable crystal.

An extra one hundred points were a fortune for them, and his mother had surely sacrificed a lot to save such an amount.

They were thin as hell! Even if the system helps them survive in the most extreme body conditions, they surely couldn't live off so little food for one more year.

Yet she was able to comply with tradition and give him a maturity gift?

While he had been wallowing in his bitterness and resentment, his mother had been quietly working, sacrificing, planning for his future. Shame washed over him, tempering his anger.

"Mother, I cannot accept it," he protested, feeling ashamed of his earlier outburst. "You will need that mana to survive."

Lena shook her head firmly. "It is my duty to ensure your future, Elio. You are our hope."

He looked around at the anxious faces of his 5 younger sisters, who gazed at him with adoration. Even little Rian, only six years old, reached out his little arms towards him with a toothless grin.

Elio's determination faltered. He remembered all the times his mother had turned down offers from one of the privileged families to become a concubine in exchange for resources. She had refused, preferring to maintain her dignity and that of her family at any cost. What was he bitching about then?

With a lump in his throat, Elio took the mana crystal from his mother's hands.

"Thank you," he whispered, feeling humbled by such sacrifice. "I will not let you down, mother. I will bring a better future for all of us when I return on the first service break."

As he spoke the words, Elio felt something shift inside him. The bitterness that had been his constant companion began to give way to a new emotion.

Lena smiled, her eyes shining with pride. "I know you will, my son. You are a warrior, born to face challenges with courage and wisdom like your father."

Elio rolled his eyes, but nodded, clutching the crystal tightly.

From that moment on, every decision, every action, would be for the good of his family. No more laments, only unwavering determination.

♢♢♢♢

As he left his humble home and headed towards the imposing Central Library, in the streets he could see people coming and going to exchange stuff with the statues near their houses, most with faces as gaunt as his mother's, struggling to breathe the rarefied air with their filter cloth. 

Everything had a perfect symmetry, ordered exactly at the same distance of each other . All the houses were the same, the streets, the pavement, the exchange statues every 100 meters of each other, and the enormous 500 meters tall walls surrounding this circular city, were made with the indestructible white stone, the power of God.

This year was its 100th year of existence. One hundred years since God made the first 100,000 humans together with this city and even if hundreds of thousands of men died, it already had reached about a million inhabitants.

♢♢♢♢

Elio had memorized every detail of his plan to defeat the sacred fire monster of the first page, studying the ancient tactics in the scant scrolls the small community school possessed.

He stopped by to pick his two best friends, Zara and Micah, who promised to accompany him on this important day.

Upon arriving at the Library, he joined the line of eager youths waiting their turn to receive the System Book.

"You seem different, kinda gloomy in school... So did you get what you wanted at the god's exchange statue? The 'most efficient equipment', with the hundred mana points your mother gathered?" asked Zara. (friend from school)

Elio smiled, taking out his precious acquisitions. "A 10 point portable breath of air stone, a 50 point 3-use magic dagger, and a 40 point fire-resistant blanket."

Micah whistled, impressed. "That's clever. The air stone will let you breathe inside the book, the dagger destroys the core by touching it, and the blanket will protect you from the monster's fire."

"Exactly," Elio nodded, carefully storing his treasures away. "I've studied every detail of the strategy to defeat the Fire Monster. With these tools, everyone who attempts it has an almost guaranteed survival."

Zara gave him a friendly nudge. "Always so meticulous, Elio. But don't get stuck in your head, overthinking as usual."

Before Elio could respond, a group of rowdy youths shoved their way through, led by a burly, arrogant boy Elio recognized as Varick, the son of one of the two privileged families, granted by the only 9 level 4 survivors, the summoners.

"It stinks here, smells like a filthy boy wants to cut in line ahead of me. Step aside, trash," Varick sneered, pushing Elio aside without care.

Micah clenched his fists, but Elio stopped him with a look. It wasn't worth starting a fight before his trial.

♢♢♢♢

Finally, they reached the end of the line leading into the entrance of the massive Central Library, where the god-granted books awaited to be bestowed upon those of age. Elio took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, when suddenly a pair of thugs grabbed him from behind.

"What the hell...?" he began to yell, but Varick approached with a mocking smile.

"I forgot my equipment for the trial... Hand over your stuff, filth," he demanded, snatching away the bag with Elio's acquisitions.

No equipment? The armor he wore and the magic sword suggested otherwise.

Elio struggled frantically, but the thugs held him tight. "That's mine! I bought it with..."

Varick laughed cruelly. "Now it's mine. Did you really think a nobody like you could get out of poverty? How pathetic."

Elio gritted his teeth, trying to stay calm. "We all have the right to try, Varick."

"Rights," Varick scoffed. "Rights are for those with power."

With one last shove, the thugs released Elio, who fell to the ground, watching helplessly as Varick entered the library with his belongings. The guard at the entrance said nothing, one of the employees of the two great families...

Elio writhed on the ground, feeling despair consume him. How was he going to face the coming challenge without a weapon? How was he going to lift his family out of poverty?

But then he remembered his mother's words: "You are a warrior, Elio. Fight with courage and wisdom."

Zara and Micah ran to help him up. "Elio, I'm so sorry," Zara said, her face contorted with anger. "We can help you gather points, you have a month's leeway to..."

But Elio shook his head, getting to his feet with determination. "I'm not going back empty-handed after what I promised my mother. I will face the monster unarmed."

His friends looked at him with concern, but Elio did not waver.

♢♢♢♢

The door guard looked at him with disdain. "Boy, if you don't have a weapon, your chances are thirty percent at most. Are you sure you want to proceed?"

Elio nodded, swallowing hard. "I'm ready."

The guard gestured and jotted something down in his ledger.

Elio entered the library, and a strange force pushed him to the center, where hundreds of thousands of books rested on shelves some 500 meters high.

A black book with glowing blue letters came to his hands, it was the same as all the others but had his name, Elio Elian, on it.

Upon opening it to the first page, a question appeared: Do you wish to challenge the first trial?

Elio nodded, and without warning, a portal opened, transporting Elio to a battle dimension. He found himself in a small stone room, with a somewhat small fire monster at the other end, about fifty meters away.

"First, you must take in all the air you can in the first 3 seconds, the monster will activate its sacred fire and if you breathe in after it, you will pass out and die."

Taking advantage of the brief moments before the creature detected him, Elio inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the fresh air of the room. Then, without hesitation, he ran straight towards the monster.

"Second, you must run without stopping until you reach the monster, remember not to breathe."

The small fire monster roared, its power igniting the oxygen instantly, engulfing the entire room in a wave of searing flames. Elio squeezed his eyes shut, continuing his blind run as fire surrounded him.

"Third, do not open your eyes when the room is set ablaze."

The heat was scorching, threatening to consume him. Without the fire-resistant blanket he had planned to use, the burns wanted to make him scream in pain. Still, he did not open his mouth, despite also feeling his lungs burning, demanding more oxygen.

He could not breathe, or he would die. Gritting his teeth, he continued running through the inferno of flames, guided only by his determination.

Finally, the flames began to dissipate and Elio opened his eyes, finding himself face-to-face with a small fire monster. The beast growled, snapping at him, but Elio did not flinch back.

"Fourth, remember that its core is in the center, roughly at what would be your stomach height."

Gathering all his strength, he lunged forward and shoved his fist into the monster's mouth, the monster receiving it by biting down on his arm.

Elio felt his muscles tearing, but lamenting would not give him oxygen. He pushed his arm deeper, shredding his flesh and the monster's until he finally found and ripped out its glowing core. The creature shrieked in agony and began to dissipate.

Elio fell to his knees, gasping desperately for air. He had managed to defeat the Fire Monster unarmed. Just as his lungs thought they could refill, Elio passed out…

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Table des matières
Volume 1 :: The Fall
Volume 2 :: My City
Volume 3 :War

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
Dagzo
DagzoAuteur

"Shameful Author Review: I give 5 stars to my story because I love it. We writers need to love our histories so you can too, right? Hey there, future world conqueror! Ever dreamed of ruling the world but thought, 'Nah, that's too much paperwork'? Well, buckle up buttercup, because Elio's about to show you how it's done! This ain't your grandma's 'power of friendship' story (though we've got that too, because even world conquerors need a high-five sometimes). We're talking epic battles, mind-bending magic (literally, we'll bend elements!), and a journey that'll make your head spin faster than Elio dodging a monster's claws. From zero to hero? Pfft, more like from 'can barely afford air' to 'I own the atmosphere, suckers!' Watch as our boy Elio goes from struggling to breathe to basically becoming the world's landlord. And trust me, this lease is for way more than 100 years. So, ready to join the 'Conquest Club'? Don't worry, we have cookies. They cost mana, but hey, nothing's free in this world. Except maybe Elio's snarky comments and impromptu chemistry lessons. Those are on the house. Bring your friends along for the ride, after all, someone's gotta help you keep track of all those elemental reactions. Just remember: in this world, the pen might be mightier than the sword, but a well-timed fireball beats them both! P.S. If you spot any typos, blame the mana shortage. It's hard to proofread when you're busy saving the world and trying to remember if combining oxygen with hydrogen will give you water or a really big boom!"

The_Watermelon
The_WatermelonLv4
Dagzo
DagzoAuteur

New review, as I start the first month of my premium challenges... (To boost my rating? Of course not... orz). I want to thank everyone who has supported the novel so far, whether it's through gifting stones, tickets, or leaving comments. You've kept me entertained and motivated... But I especially want to shout out to the two readers who bought the 4th tier of my privilege... yes, the one that's valued as a rip-off. Thank you so much; you are angels! The single chapter you unlocked definitely doesn't justify the cost, so I know you're doing it just to show your support. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Because of angels like you, and as long as there's at least one reader still interested, I will not abandon this story and will finish it properly. And to one of you who purchased the tier again already, thank you once more! At least this time, I gave a big discount on the privilege chapters for the month to feel better with myself… orz Well, that's all... Oh, wait! Amor hasn't received much love yet. Visit her in Fandom (Characters). By the way, harem is winning, and my wife isn't too happy about that... orz But she'll have to accept it as she promised if the votes swing too much in that direction (It's not my fault, it's what the majority wants, hahaha Democracy). I'm already designing the harem characters… Feel free to ask anything about the story or suggest corrections. Nobody's perfect, so I'll be paying attention and responding to every comment. Once again, thank you all for your support!

Gabriel_Gutierrez_2140
Gabriel_Gutierrez_2140Lv11

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