As a kid, Grandma's stories were all about a lovesick maid and a prince, thwarted by a villain who never quit. But here I am, waking up in a princess gown that weighs a ton, with flaming red hair and eyes like bling-bling. Seriously, universe? Turns out, I'm Meredia Seraphine Valtoria, the forgettable princess of Dukedom Saltorra. The punchline? I'm already dead in this story, a ghostly cameo before it even starts! Thanks, fate. But no more Miss Nice Princess. Royalty? Nah. Impending doom? Not my scene. With the finesse of a startled squirrel, I'm hightailing it-from that pesky villain and this ridiculous plotline.