Losing Control

I managed to regain enough Aeter to bring down the dome only an hour after the battle. Thankfully, the cattle did not suffer any deaths, else I would have gone and massacred every wolf in this damn place. Not that I had enough strength to do so, but I'll be damned if I didn't try!

Because of my agitated mood, my eyes glowed and the veins in my hands pumped with strength. My body emitted something the beasts in the jungle would use to intimidate each other; bloodlust.

The flock sensed danger from my angered state and started showing signs of panic.

'Control yourself! No, you would not have killed any more of them. They are just trying to survive, just as you are doing yourself.'

With a heavy sigh, I brushed my short hair backwards, and tried to calm myself.

It took me a good few minutes, but eventually the glow died down and I felt weakness return to my body. The cattle was confused by the earlier display of erratic emotion, but nothing ignoring them couldn't fix.

*sigh*

The fight with the wolves left me exhausted and frustrated. Even everything I had experienced and trained for amounted to nothing at the smallest variable in battle.

If not for my healing spell, I would have been in much bigger trouble. The healing spell in itself is quite unique, earth affinities fuel mostly defensive or offensive capabilities. I am quite lucky to have created this spell piggy backing off my past knowledge.

Rubbing a hand over my chest, I traced the wounded area. It was similar to the one on my side, yet fundamentally different.

The one on my side was much more horrific. It had four jagged road like markings all over my right side, while the new one on my chest was much tamer; relatively speaking. It was shallower and smaller, not only that but there were three claws instead of four.

'Dad is going to chew me out for having more scars' I groaned internally.

Although he appeared pretty nonchalant about my battles and injuries, I could feel that he was way more worried than he cared to admit. His eyes brown eyes carried much sadness and regret at having me experience these hardships at such a young age.

Losing my self, more and more to my thoughts amidst the bleating of sheep and the soft breathing of the wind, my mind wandered to that weird crystal I found in the space wolf's carcass.

It was a rough diamond shaped crystal with a dark blue color and white spots splattered across. I took out the mysterious crystal and studied it further as my hand brushed over its edges and traced its outline. Good thing I come from an earth over saturated with fantasy novels. Twirling the crystal between my fingers, a brilliant idea came to mind, but I had to head home first and consult with my father.

I Looked at a certain downcast owl on my shoulder and the idea became even more necessary in my mind

'I know just what to do with it'

"Eset" I called out softly to the depressed little owl.

"…"

"Hey Eset"

".."

No matter how much I called, the little owl did not raise her head or look into my eyes.

Seeing her sorry state, I stuck my face right into hers, trying to get her to look directly at me. Flustered, her black beady eyes darted furiously and her head turned from side to side, refusing to meet mine at any cost.

Having enough of this, I grabbed her pointy white antlers firmly, even drawing blood from my hand.

-HOOT

Eset flailed her wings about in concern as she watched the crimson blood dribble from my palm, sliding all the way to my elbow and staining the green meadow.

No matter how much she wiggled and squirmed, I kept her antler in my hand refusing to let go until she calmed down, and even after she did, I kept my hand clenched around it.

"I know what you're doing, and you might as well just stop it."

Eset was blaming her weakness for my injury, further feeding her insecurities.

It took her a minute of flailing about before she hung her head down and softly nuzzled to mine.

I let go of her antler and pat her head gently.

"It's not your fault Eset, you did everything you could."

The owl hooted softly, before looking at the crystal in my hand.

"'AHAHHHA 'bout time you noticed it, I was seriously doubting your credibility as an owl."

Before Eset could launch one of her wing attacks and fill my mouth with feathers, I quickly continued.

"S-See this crystal girl? This is going to help me make out of you the strongest witch that ever walked Eos!"

Eset stopped her attack mid-way and stuck her face right in front of the wondrous crystal. She opened her beak slowly, and swiftly tried biting the crystal; just like a lunging snake.

Predicting the diva's impulsive actions, I quickly put my leather bracers in her way, effectively stopping her from biting into the crystal.

"AH-AH-AH, not now. We need to ask my old man first, it might have a negative effect on you."

".."

-CHOMP

"OUCH"

Frustrated with my response, the diva my ear and flew away to perch on one of the goats' horns, showing me her displeasure.

I wanted to go after her and give her a good bonk on the head with my staff, but a realization dawned on me just as she flew away.

'I have to let her go now, right? After she gets her magic- If she does get it- then she will become an independent owl, no longer my responsibility, no longer my little owl, no longer my little sister…'

The little diva looked back at me mockingly, as if provoking me to pursue her and start our little game, but I was too occupied with my own thoughts to go after her

"Careful what you wish for huh... "

###

I lead the cattle inside a wide gated area before heading back to the cabin. I placed the shepherd's staff near the door, and picked up my training staff. I was exhausted and in no shape to train, but I wanted to get my mind off Eset's departure.

'Is this the eight or the ninth, I am not sure anymore. I lost count after the fifth one.'

Ever since I started training staff arts under my father's guidance, the staff I used would constantly change. It would always get much heavier every time I get used to the weight of the one before it.

'To hell with the staff, just focus already.'

Shaking my head and clearing my thoughts, I got into a square stance and began practicing my strikes and thrusting forms.

As I progressed in studying the art, I was able to transition between each form and stance fluidly, like a dance. I would thrust, swing, sweep and shadow spar endlessly until my muscles cramping and twitching, would wake me out of my reverie. My father told me it was a type of shallow meditation advanced martial arts practitioners would learn to use to help with integrating the techniques into muscle memory faster.

I kept on practicing until the sun set in the distance, signaling the end of my training session.

Directly after finishing, I went to the back of the cabin and prepared to draw myself a bath. Like the basin in my room, this one had the Laguz rune etched on it bottom, however in addition to that rune, I added the Sowilo rune.

Why did I add the Sowilo rune? Well this young man learned to harness the heat aspect of the rune, diversifying its uses.

"Laguz, Sowilo"

###

After my bath I went inside and began the real meditation while waiting for my father.

The more time I spent meditating in my inner world, the more I felt connected to my weapon. I could clearly see all the details on the weapon in the inner world. I could see how the ashen body stood tall and strong, and how the crimson bludgeoned ends glowed. But, I couldn't proceed closer to it. No matter how long I meditated for, I could not get any further. I was just missing a piece of the puzzle, yet I did not know what it is.

Getting no closer than the day before, I Retreated out of my mind and exited the house laying on a grassy hill not far from the house.

As I gazed at the starry night sky, I could not help but think of my mother and granny Sophia. My heart aches for them. I long for my mother's tender touch and her pleasant voice humming in my ears. I long for granny's strict but loving guidance, allowing me to explore this mystifying world safely.

'Oh what I would give only to have her teach me again.'

Tears escaped my eyes despite trying my very best to bury my emotions deep within. All this time, I have been preoccupied with surviving and getting stronger that I did not process my own emotions. Now however, that I've gotten to sit down and have a moment to myself, these feelings came rushing back.

I fought back the tears as hard as I could and rubbed my eyes as hard as I could. I squirmed and concentrated my breathing, but nothing was working. I tried walking away and thinking about something else but even that was hopeless.

All of a sudden, a hand held my shoulder warmly, and a gentle voice made its way to my ears, tearing down any defenses I had set up.

"Let them out Eli, they won't go away unless you do. Let them out until there is nothing left, only then will you able to move on and face the challenges ahead."

That was all it took for me to lose all sense of my composure. I cried like never before, not in this life nor the previous.

Just a few years ago I got to experience unconditional love that I was deprived of in my previous life, only for it to be taken away.

Right after that I was thrust into the wild, fighting bears and wolves for survival. Everything was overwhelming, my chest felt tight and I could feel a lump forming in my throat.

I tugged at my father's shirt with as much strength as I could muster and tears flowed from my eyes uncontrollably, staining his clothes. I am not sure what had gotten into me, I was a seventeen year old man for god's sake. Was it the fragile mental state of a child's body, or am I truly this weak?

Each time I believe that I have truly achieved strength to live comfortably, some hiccup finds itself in my way.

###

Isaac held his son close as he listened to his muffled cries.

The young boy shivered and struck his chest repeatedly in an attempt to vent his frustration. After a while, his crying came to a halt, and his tears finally dried up. The young boy's body became limp as he finally succumbed to his fatigue.

With a sigh Isaac carried his son into the cabin solemnly as tears of his own fled his eyes.

"Damn you Judas, for what you have done to me and my family. By Kali I damn you!"