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The Greatest Monarch

Fantaisie
Actuel · 88.6K Affichage
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  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

After an unexpected accident, the king of Zion went into a state of coma. The ruler should be the heart of his people but the truth was entirely different from this. The coma seemed more like a blessing for the people of Zion. They wished for this blessing to never vanish. Why? That was because if it did not vanish and if he died, the holy church would take over the kingdom and they would no longer have to serve under a trash king anymore. But after he woke up, something even better happened. The King has lost his memory, even his personality was completely rewritten. When the trash king came to know the wrong deeds he had committed earlier, it pierced into his chest like sharp arrows making him feel guilty beyond what words could explain. He decided to change the shape of his kingdom and become the strongest king ever with the help of the "system" he got! Will he be able to dominate the world? Will he be able to enjoy the luxurious life of a king? Those questions can only be answered when you read his story and dive into the world of fantasy! Note: This is a remastered novel of my previous novel. After I had to undergo surgery I could no longer write, which made people lose interest in my novel and I actually wanted to rewrite my novel too. There were many mistakes and loopholes that I wanted to fix so here I am... writing my novel once again.

Étiquettes
10 étiquettes
Chapter 1Kingdom Prologue

(A/N: You may or may not skip this part but as an author, I would suggest you to read it so you can understand what exactly is happening in the first few chapters)

Somewhere on the large Continent Of Aura And Magic exists a kingdom named "Zion" located on a mountain.

A kingdom that does not match its name at all. That kingdom could be anything but a paradise that grants eternal happiness to its residents.

A cursed kingdom that was said to only bring misfortune to anybody who got connected to it. That was also the reason despite it having a large amount of land and artificial property no other kingdom attacked it. History was proof those who took anything from the kingdom resulted in the annihilation of that kingdom.

That was the outside thing but the reason it was said to be a kingdom that was completely opposite of its name was: its corruption.

The ministers and nobility of the kingdom were completely corrupted. They do what they desire and fear no one since kings who had ever ruled the kingdom were also like them.

Commoners were forced to do different work but were paid only so little they could hardly even eat themselves while the ministers and royals lived a luxurious life leeching off them.

Cries of commoners can be heard every day but unlike every day today, something was different... instead of cries, prayers could be heard from the neighborhood of commoners.

Why?

That was because the king of Zion, Andrew-Z-Caesar, had fallen from the giant walls of the palace and was in a state of coma for five days.

But those were not prayers in hopes of their King being well again; instead they prayed in hopes that the King would continue to be in a state of a coma just for another two days.

They hoped that because according to the rules of the continent if a kingdom was to stay ruler-less for more than seven days that kingdom would be under the holy church's command meaning the kingdom would become a holy land.

Commoners wished they could be free from the cruel ruling and just devote themselves to god if necessary to get freedom.

While commoners were wishing for the unwell of the King, ministers were praying for his well-being but nearly none of them actually cared about the king... they just feared if the church took over their position would be taken by another priest.

That was the condition of the kingdom of Zion...

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Mrboogey13 · Fantaisie
3.9
1432 Chs

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
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DarkElven6
DarkElven6Lv14

I rate this high, only because once I hit chapter 6 my complaints pretty much stopped. That being said there are a lot of problems with the first 5 chapters. Grammar is a big issue here. I understand English is not your first language, but there are a lot of turns of phrases that just don't work in English. Reading more books in the genre can assist in fixing these issues. I also recommend finding someone who can edit out the worst of your mistakes. Your first 5 chapters do not create any sort of emotional attachment to the MC. This is a huge problem! I understand there is a lot of info the reader needs to understand the world. I suggest use dialogue to gradually pepper in the world building. Your use of flowery descriptions had me skipping several paragraphs, because I didn't care. Leaving descriptions more vague helps the reader envision your world better. Readers are smart, we can fill in the blanks for ourselves! There are a few points in the first 5 chapters that just don't make sense. Like the PM would have been informed from the beginning about the King's health. No one is just born a 'strategist'. Make sense if maybe he was trained after his talent was discovered, but it doesn't just happen. Please leave definitions and To Be Continued out of the chapter. They don't add to the story and only forcibly destroy the flow. A lot of the first 5 chapters you are committing the crime of telling us things, instead of letting us see the story play out. You will lose readers with this. The first 10 chapters should be about creating an emotional connection between the readers and your MC(s). Names are constantly getting messed up, or your switching the spelling of them. Please fix the easy stuff like this! Once the system was introduced the story started coming together nicely and is the only reason you got such a high rating! There are serious issues with this story. I am sorry it took so long to get you this review! Perhaps, consider opening the story differently, like from the moment the MC wakes up and using the dialogue to fill in the blanks of the world around him. It is fun for the readers to experience the world with the MC.

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