The Author Was On Her Way To Buy A Frying Pan

If one drives through Enam City right to its very core, they would find four tall towers peering through the clouds many have come to call the four watch towers, when they are in fact the headquarters of Enam city's four giant companies. Between these towers, sits a much shorter building. On normal standards, this was a very standard skyscraper, if not compared to these towers. This was the Utang business centre. Its shiny glass body mirroring whatever clouds the four watch towers had left over, It was the home of several companies that rented its forty-six floors.

On the sixth floor sat the Marketing division of a food and beverage company, Wong-de, where a meeting just concluded between the marketing division one of Wong-de and representatives of team two of Cent Advertising from the second floor. The second meeting room doors opened and both sides shook hands and dispersed. The serious blank working faces of the marketing team followed them to their seats. Like minions that had received their commands, they all click unto the company's main forum and unleash their inner groundnut-eating demons.

[You would not believe what happened at the marketing meeting today. Cent Ad's team two leader pulled out a cotton lingerie to clean his face today.] Nobody's grandmother posted on the company forum.

[How did you know it was cotton?] Downstairs Jane asked.

[People, be civilized; what is lingerie? It is called pant!] Aunty Josephine lectured.

[If you were sitting from my angle, you would see a name printed on the little pant.] Melon peeling mike answered.

[Who prints names on their pant?] Early Morning drum asked.

[Many people do it these days. If you buy from Eja lingerie, they will print it for you.] Yester-Friday's chewing gum answered.

[How do you know, was it your pant?] Groundnut vendor asked.

[It was Marketing Director Ikanke's pant.] Choir Master Ben announced.

[Ah, Choir Master Ben, your eyes are sharp. In the time he spread the pant to clean his face, you saw Director Ikanke's name. I should invite you to lunch, maybe you will be able to see what Mrs Emem is always writing inside Barrister Etuk's car every 1 pm.] Madam First Lady pitched in.

[Please, who spread whose pant?] Village Pastor asked.

[Assistant director Ifanga's name was on the pant. -Rolling Eyes emoji-] Choir Master Ben answered.

[It is true. When Cent Ad's Team Leader Afim pulled out the Lingerie, Assistant Director Ifanga's face looked like yesterday's beans. keke] Sister Mary said.

[I will not correct you guys again, It is not lingerie, it is called pant!] Aunty Josephine chimed in.

[So his name is on the pant means that it is Director Ikanke's own? You guys are wonderful; you can even cook melon soup without melon. -Mischief Emoji-] Early Morning Bread said.

[Marketing Director Ikanke is Assistant marketing Director Ifanga's wife. How can he not recognize his own wife's pant?] The book of John asked.

[Can you recognize your own?] Downstairs Jane asked.

[It could be his Secretary, Lizzy's pant, I hear she is very loyal.] Yester-Friday's Chewing gum said.

[Please, Madam upstairs, stretch this story within reason, we are only dealing with facts here.] Melon Peeling Mike said.

[It was Director Ikanke's Pant, she was not wearing the pant in the meeting.] Choir Master Ben said. (Choir Master Ben has changed his user name to Town Crier Ben.)

[I am lost. What is this about pant?] Passing Judgement asked.

[This amount of knowledge is shaking my core. If this Ben is in my department, I am not safe. -Running Emoji-] Early Morning drum said.

[You even know this?] Groundnut Vendor asked.

['Clearing throat' Choir Master Ben... No, Town Crier Ben, please explain in clear and definite terms how your eyes descended on the Director Ikanke's Pantless behind.] Aunty Josephine said.

[Please please, people. Director Ikanke with her flowing skirt sat as she pleased at the meeting. Since I am not the only one who went under the desk to pick up the binders during the meeting, it was not only me that saw what I saw.] Town Crier Ben said.

[I saw what I saw.] Sleeping lily added.

[I saw what I saw.] Backyard goat added.

[So, Director Ikanke was not wearing any Lingerie, I mean pant, sorry Aunty Josephine; and Cent Ad team leader pulled a pant with her husband's name during the meeting to clean his face. We now understand the context. Then how did the pant leave her behind and enter his pocket, Marketing team?] Early Morning Bread asked.

[So, you are asking us, so that we ask who?] Nobody's grandmother asked.

[Don't lag behind, last week when secretary Ima missed work for the first time since she entered the company, the witches on floor seven found out her location after she was kidnapped that morning, found her kidnappers, where they were keeping her and why they kidnapped her in one afternoon. Your matter is only a case of Director Ikanke's pant. Please do some work.] Plantain Porridge said.

[So you think witchcraft is practised by the entire company? Why don't you divine for us, how the pant got in his pocket? We will contribute and pay you.] Melon Peeling Mike said.

[Town Crier Ben, that knows all things, please help this investigation.] Melon Soup chimed in.

[Official Notice!

Due to the disturbing amount of gossip circulating at the moment, the forum has been locked. By company directive, discussion in the forum is no more allowed as it will henceforth only exist to announce company directives and official news.

Signed, management.]

The locking of the company forum caused many to raise brows. After all, it was not the first time that such damning gossip has circulated via this glorious medium. What made this time special?

"I knew this would happen. Why would people be talking about seeing a person's privates so easily?" a woman in the marketing department said and maybe because she spoke loudly, or that the office was already quite quiet, her voice echoed across the grass.

Ah, modernity. Gone were the times when people could laugh when someone fell. Gender, age and race mattered to how high the pitch of your laughter could go. And even if a people refused to acknowledge the times, there would still be those perched upon the high shoulders of morality. But these glorious white-collar workers were not the ones that caused her fall, why would they allow themselves to be mocked for laughing?

"Maybe it was her pant." someone muttered while flipping through a pile of papers.

"I see." the rest muttered in response and continued typing away.