Saving Grace- And the Pedagogy of Survival

Prologue

........................................................................

No matter where I go, all I can see is darkness. It was a pure, intoxicating shadow. Even the distant stars are unparalleled by the obscene and obsidian hue that separates the good from evil.

No imagination can save me from my despair, nor can my reality. But there was still a way to change it.

There must be.

"Roxanne, can you hear me!"

A distant and familiar voice reverberates through my ear, calling out my name, time after time. However, I cannot seem to notice where the origin of the sound is coming from, despite searching far and wide to this space.

Exasperated, I averted my gaze over to my side, hoping that, somehow, to notice something from far away. And there it was. A figure of some sort greets me with dignity and confidence. Woefully, I cannot recall the identity of the person calling my attention.

"Who are you?" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I can feel my chest getting tighter at every breath I inhale, as if there was something wrong inside my alveolars.

In the blink of an eye, the apparition I saw disappears without a trace. It left nothing behind, which made me frozen and still.

After a few seconds, its image reappears multiple times around me, as if haunting me with its terrifying silhouette. Eventually, its movements stop and vanish utterly once more, this time turning into specs of dirt before me.

Confused, I stepped back, creating a fair amount of distance from the trail of dust that had followed me here inside this realm.

"Stay back!" I panicked. "Don't come any closer…"

But it was hitherto too late as I witnessed my body become nothing but the same ashes that consumed me moments ago. My feet felt numb, followed by my hands, and continued to rise upwards to my face.

"Ah, I remember you now." My consciousness was undeviatingly fading away, and I knew for sure that this was the end of my trials and becoming.

"His name was Nicolas."

........................................................................

CHAPTER 1- Unparalleled

........................................................................

The ringing of bells chimes against my ears. It was an unpleasant sound if you'd ask me, but my opinion does not matter in this school.

I turned my head around and saw the clock vibrating on the wall, showing that school had already dismissed us, students, early.

"Tomorrow, for your next lesson, be sure to study everything written in chapter two of your book. Especially you, Roxanne."

My professor's eyes focused on my still figure, with the rest of the class following her gaze.

All of a sudden, a burst of laughter can be heard and noticed inside the room. And the centre of this chuckling was at my blunder during class. The rest, I do not know what had happened.

"Serves her right."

"I can't believe she did that."

"Poor little girl."

A mixture of emotions sprawled inside my head as I evermore listen to their reactions and comments about me. But the saddest part has yet to come by. I stood on my seat and instructed to pay a visit to the professor's lounge and wait for her for the remaining time.

I reluctantly moved my legs and walked outside of our room, still saddened about the occurrence that is happening with my life.

"I should not have done that," I repeatedly said the phrase to myself, hoping to find a bit of regret over the actions that I had performed.

By the time that I had arrived inside the office, I noticed the number of paintings hung above the walls and breathtaking sculptures at the entrance door.

"I didn't know she was into artsy stuff," I murmured to myself and wordlessly shuffled my way to the bench near the desk of my terrorising professor, Mrs. Evergreen.

"Could you care to tell me why you brought cigars with you during class?" Her eyes shuffled around the room, but still looking at my figure from time to time, wondering about my next reply.

"I, uh... " But no words spouted from my mouth as I was caught red-handed and unable to defend my reasons for this event that I had placed myself.

"Lucky for you that a suspension for a day is enough for your punishment as for the school's orders," Her fingers ran across the files of documents already opened by the time that I entered the place.

She then places a sheet of paper on top of the table and a pen for me to write. Written on the top of the blank sheet was "Reasons for doing it", the sort of thing that I am most accustomed to note.

I already lost count on how many reports I have compiled in that same drawer that my professor pulled not too long ago. For three years, It was a continuous disaster for me to visit this place, write something on that shitty paper, and repeat the routine all over again; and there was nothing new to draft in it but the actions I did for that specific day.

Once I have finished my inscription, my professor requested and asked me to leave the school grounds and take self-action -self-pity- for the things I revealed in my class.

"Cigarettes? They're going to reprimand me for that?" I mumble to myself while angrily kicking out a pair of pebbles on my way back home.

The sea of trees greeted my sight as I went down Maryland Avenue, where the busy street vendors take place. Everyone around me buzzes and strides to the road where street foods and such are sold cheap compared to the market or restaurants downtown.

"What a splendid place to be in,"

I look around and help myself with a kebab full of pork meats and vegetables that I do not know. With a single sweep of my tongue, all the snacks entered my mouth and filled my rumbling stomach. It was then accompanied by a sudden burp that escaped out of my body, indicating that I was stuffed and full with the paltry amount of meal that I have digested.

"That's one way to relieve my stress for today,"

The dazzling stars pave my road as I venture back to my house, with a stick still gripped on my hand.

"I'm home!" I shouted, but there was nobody there to welcome my return. There are clues that my parents had been out and travelled to the airport already. Despite knowing these, I chose to announce my arrival in this empty room.

"Guess I'll sleep early tonight," With nothing to do, I immediately closed the door and went upstairs toward my room.

The rustling of the trees was the only music that kept me company for the night. However, it was strange that around this hour there was no noise coming from next door. Our neighbours were usually playing some piano sheets to sing them to sleep, which made it arduous for me to rest in peace-not in a deadly manner.

"Very peculiar, but convenient." I couldn't help but curl up a smile thinking that I'll be able to sleep peacefully just for this night; and anticipating that their tune will resume afterwards. For now, I lied on my bed, exhausted, and shut my eyes to catch some rest for this hectic day.

........................................................................

"Mmhgm."

"Am I inside a dream?"

Moments later, I found myself floating in mid-air, unsure where and when I was placed and trapped in this stellar location.

Everything around me was full of stars and planets that are unfamiliar to my understanding. Even how the galaxies are shown and exhibited in the scene was a little odd for me to believe that this atmosphere that I am in was real.

"I just need to wake up. That's all." I assured.

I began to look around and find something that I can use to feel pain on my skin. I hoped that there might be a sort of asteroid going in my way, or even broken satellites that may still wander in this dimension.

But,

"I can't see anything…"

Despite searching for objects in the vicinity, there was nothing out of the unordinary that was within my reach. My body still cannot hover around in any direction, despite being tossed around inside this space.

"Should I just wait for this dream of mine to end?" I am running out of options and accept my fate and hope that I will soon rouse up from my sleep.

It was a good thing that my professor suspended me for my classes, which made it uncomplicated for me to sleep throughout the day. Nevertheless, I wanted to, at least, study for my exams coming in this week, and not waste any time inside this reverie.

Suddenly, a figure akin to a man appears before me, flying at the same state as my body, but mobile and free. I almost felt like a bird with a broken wing, unable to soar in the sky and join the rest of the flock, as I thoroughly watched the mysterious figure.

"Who are you?" Curious, I query a question to the unfamiliar man and nervously ask his identity. Alas, there was no response, as he continued to swim around endlessly with both of his arms opened wide.

"There goes my chances,"

I start to lose interest in the figure who did nothing but fly to the stars and desperately paddle my limbs, hoping that I could budge. With a morsel of effort, I was awarded and bestowed with the ability to progress and ended up twirling down the murky nebula.

The star was supposed to be filled and enveloped with otherworldly gas particles the naked eye can not see. In spite of this knowledge, here I am, in breadths length with the same sun that led me.

Moments afterwards, a scorching wave radiating from the unseen gases burns my skin with intense temperature. The damage was evidently seen by how deep that it had blazed my epidermis down to my dermis.

"A second-degree burn," I noted, as I recall what I had learned during my science class and applied my lesson in this space. Oddly enough, even with the mark produced by the warmth, I had experienced no pain or agony throughout the sensation. All I felt was being tickled and touched, as if I was immune by the radiance of the star.

Suddenly, a searing pain jinx what I had earlier thought, and the pain that I should have felt and experienced a while ago rushes to me. Unbearable was the only description of what I was undergoing as the suffering continues to haunt me and my petite body.

At long last, after several seconds of being stuck and trapped in this realm, my mind was ready to transport me back to the reality that I am most familiar with. With a snap coming from my fingers, I hurriedly jolted and arrived at my real world.

........................................................................

Before I can peer my eyes open, the pain that I had experienced in my nightmare rushes to my skin, particularly my arm up to my chest.

I immediately threw my blanket away from touching my chest and ended up rushing to my bathroom, with my eyes still closed.

Miraculously, I enter my washroom, hitting nothing in my way despite being unable to see and notice the world around me. I did not have the chance to know my environment as I hoped for the best that I am inside, once again, my abode.

I hastily undressed in front of the mirror and saw the horrifying marks that burnt my body with the same bluish flame that inundated me inside the dream.

"No freaking way," I mumble to myself while gazing carefully at the marks that dismantled my skin.

I hesitantly touched the wound, knowing that it would hurt me if I did, and swiftly took one bandage found inside my first aid kit behind the glass door. But, when every time I tried placing the medicine and wrapping myself with the clean cloth, my hand would automatically quiver, making it strenuous for me to apply what is best for my body.

"I need to hide this for tomorrow. I cannot let my classmates see me in this state or else...." I couldn't imagine the faces of my disgusted compeers mocking me with my reddish skin bursting out from my body. They would even be terrified and uncouth on how I even received this damage, and will probably have a reason to bully me for it.

"I need a jacket. I need to heal as fast as I can and have these burns checked up." I said while applying the treatment that I saved and prayed for a brighter beginning.