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Random Skyrim Bullshittery

Auteur: Hyooon
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Synopsis

Guy wakes up in Skyrim. Immediately regrets it.

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5 étiquettes
Chapter 1start or something idk

"That's a fucking dragon ain't it?" Adam scratched his chin, looking at the massive black dragon flying overhead, disappearing behind Bleak Falls Barrow.

"Damn he's big." He muttered.

He's currently standing in front of a cave that all Skyrim players are familiar with. Yeah, the one where you finish the Unbound quest. Why is he there? Waiting for the dragonborn, what else?

It's been 30 minutes since he spawned, for a lack of a better term, in front of the cave wearing hunting clothes with a bow and arrow. And it's weird. Since most Skyrim fanfics start with the protagonist at the cart.

"It's been half an hour..." He stared at the crude makeshift sundial he made on the ground. "...probably?"

"Anyways where the hell are those peop—"

"Drop your weapons and turn around!"

Speak of the devil.

"Hello, I guess?" He dropped his bow and turned around.

Standing before him are four people. It's pretty obvious who they are. From left to right, Ralof, a girl who has white hair for some reason, Hadvar, and a handsome guy who for some reason looks like he'd just seen a ghost.

Wait why are there four?

"Who are you?" Adam's thoughts are interrupted when Ralof brandished his axe and warily asked him.

"I'm a hunter. I think?" Adam replied honestly.

"I think?" Hadvar quipped.

"It's a long story." Adam shrugged.

"I'll kill him." The girl took out a massive greatsword out of Narnia.

"Wait wait wait!" The guy with them immediately went in the middle. "Let me talk to him first."

The girl snorted and put back her greatsword to what the fuck how did it suddenly disappear? Anyways, the guy turned to Adam.

"You... Do you happen to be from Earth?" He asked, the light of hope visible in his eyes.

"What's Earth?" Adam replied.

"Oh..." The guy visibly deflated.

"I'm from Mars. Hello earth person."

And the guy instantly brightened.

Is he a child?

~~~~~~~~~~

(First Person Perspective cos i cant write third person)

It's turning dark, and after some talks with the Dragonborn gang, I was offered to come along, reason being their lack of an archer. Which is a dumb decision as I never shot a bow before.

Currently, we're at the Sleeping Giant Inn, sipping on some mead and choking on bread with melted cheese on top. Ralof and Hadvar is having an equipment maintenance competition somewhere outside, so it's just me, the guy, and the girl.

No one is talking, so it's pretty awkward. But as a half British person, I fail to give a fuck about the atmosphere and kept on munching on bread. Which somehow tastes good, can't lie.

Girl also kept eating her bread. She even seemed to enjoy the silence. I mean, we all enjoy silence. Except the guy. He looks like someone with a dildo stuck down his arse.

"So..." Guy attempted to start a conversation. "Dragon huh?"

Jesus Christ he's awful at this.

"Yes. Dragon. Big." I gave him a thumbs up and went on ravaging my bread. Why is this so good though holy shit.

"Y-yeah. It's quite big." Guy looks like he's dying inside.

"Cough cough, where are y'all from?" He cleared his throat and tried again.

Driven by my pity, I answered.

"UK. Half south east Asian though.

"Oh, that's cool!" I cannot see what's so cool about that. I have Filip*no blood for fuck's sake.

"Where is that?" The girl heard us and asked with furrowed brows. She obviously doesn't recognize the places. Which is a given. I'll be shocked if she does recognize them.

"It's er... a place. Really really far away place." Guy is so awkward lmao.

The girl hummed and turned back to her food.

"I just realized that we still don't know each other's names. I'll go first, I'm Bob.

For no reason, I almost choked on my drink.

"Are you American?" I asked.

"I am! How could you tell?"

I did not answer, in fear that I'll laugh out loud.

"Um, o-okay. Then, what about you?" He turned towards the girl.

"... Aria." She is definitely the Dragonborn.

"What a beautiful name!" The guy, Bob— PFFT I'm sorry. Ahem. Bob, praised with bright eyes.

What a good person.

For the rest of the night, Bob talked and talked, trying to make everyone close to each other.

I fell asleep with a bottle of mead on my mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since highschool I've been waking up at 3am. Years later and I automatically wake up at 3am whether I desire to or not.

Munching on bread, I left the inn to get some fresh air. Fortunately there's a chair just directly besides the door.

You know, industrialization is cool and all but sometimes, you miss out on some stunning views. Like right now.

The sky looks magical. The moon is bigger, and there are multiple of them. Instead of the usual black sky of Earth, this one is almost like a rainbow. It's like the world is surrounded by nebulae. It's... magical.

Anyways that's all I'm going back to sleep.

Standing up, I stretched before heading at the door. Raised my hand and push— oh hey there Aria.

If I was shorter, my hand would've been on her breasts right now. But I'm not. So my hand is on her face, covering it entirely. Damn it's smooth.

I took my hand back, maintaining my calm face.

"Sorry about that. Here, bread." I put the bread I was munching on in her hand and took a step back.

She stared at the bread for several seconds. I stared at the bread for several seconds.

...

...

...

"Thank you." And she bit on it.

Cool, we're chill.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright lads, we have a task to do." Ralof entered the inn and called out to us.

"Oooh! What is it?" Bob, I still can't get used to his name, asked with shining eyes.

"We're heading to Whiterun." Hadvar entered next and answered.

"Hm." Aria, stone faced as always, responded.

Cool, adventure.

"Can I get 10 bottles of mead? Yeah, and put it in a bag please. Alright thank you."

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